WWF MSG Classics Report

Since I can't stand 99% of what I watch today, I am ecstatic that WWF MSG classics are back. I'm not going to do match-by-match, move-for-move recaps, but just a quick synoposis and thoughts of each match.

First Hour
July 1991
For the WWF Tag Team Championships
(c) The Nasty Boyz w/Jimmy Hart vs The Hart Foundation
This was a rematch from Wrestlemania VII, the same Wrestlemania Knobbs was begging Hulk to watch with him on Hogan Knows Best. I was at this show 17 years ago, and apparently so was Destiny from WSU!

Hearing the commentators is a breath of fresh air. TNA's idiots should be forced to listen to Gorilla Monsoon. I know everyone says JR is the best, but for me, nothing beats Monsoon & Heenan.

While the Nastyz would retain the championships in this match, the big match would be a month later when the Nastyz took on the LOD. I remember marking out huge being there live, as the LOD kicked ass. That PPV, despite the weak main event (Match Made in Hell), had a great undercard. Perfect/Hart was a classic. LOD beating the Nastyz was something everyone wanted. The Bossman/Mountie blow off was perfect, with Mountie having to go in jail. Do you think today's fans will remember not even today's undercard guys, but today's main eventers with such fondness 17 years from now? Most likely not.

Watching this match, and with 20/20 hindsight, you can see that Bret Hart was destined for greatness. The Harts worked like heels a bit here, choking and double teaming behind the refs back. Lord Alfred Hayes is also on commentary, but I think he disrupted more than added to Heenan/Monsoon.

watching the Nastyz here in MSG, do you think they think about these old matches when Eric Simms calls them up asking them to job to Helter Skelter?

Sags used the helmet on Neidhart towards the end of the match, the same helmet that the Nastyz used to win the tag titles. That is also what's missing today with wrestling, just great stories and characters you can get into. You know who's who, what's what, and what happened in the finishes. I'm only 25 and rambling like an old man with the "do you remember stories", but seriously I remember as a kid watching the same Coliseum Home Video over and over again. I can't even watch Raw, ECW, Smackdown, TNA or 90% of the indy shows I go to without being bored and wanting to leave, never mind wanting to watch it twice. However, I can remember watching the same Junkyard Dog or King Kong Bundy match a million times. I think I even wore out my Survivor Series 1990 tape that I had to get a new one.

After a commercial break, we return to 7/1/1991, with the Nastyz still beating on an injured Neidhart. It's funny when they pan to the crowd and you try to see if you recoginze anyone and notice what people are wearing. Lots of GIANTS stuff, because just like 17 years ago, the Giants were on top of the football world.

It's amazing how the crowd pops for simple shit and easy moves. You can't do that today. Bret Hart always threw the fakest punches, but he did them with such passion that you could let it slide. Neidhart and Sags had good chemistry in this match.

The crowd went nuts when the Hart Foundation hit the Hart Attack on Knobs. Sags broke up the cover. Jimmy Hart threw in the helmet to Sags, but Bret intercepted it and walloped Knobs with it. The ref didn't really see it, but he called for a DQ anyway.

Howard Finkel was such an asshole in the day. During these house shows, they would always have these fuck finishes where you didn't know who really won. Fink would be dramatic about the way he announced the winner and would never just get to it. You were left hanging on his last word. He is/was great at what he does.

Jake The Snake Roberts w/Andre The Giant vs Earthquake w/Jimmy Hart
I love this show. They recap the angles going into the match. This was when Quake squashed Damien. They showed when Quake attacked Andre. I remember hoping a disease on Earthquake when that happened. Eh, maybe that joke was in bad taste. But seriously, I was not an Earthquake fan because of that.

How great was Quake's two-beat music? We're only in our second match, but with Jake, Neidhart, & The Nastyz, it's like a who's who of who Eric Simms made job to Helter Skelter.

This was one of Andre's last appearances in the WWF. He had the huge crutches after the attack by Quake. I'm guessing he had trouble standing at the time too as he was moving gingerly.

It was weird hearing Heenan shit on Andre after all the years he managed him. However, Andre didn't get the Big Bossman treatment. Remember the never ending mother jokes?

Lots of stalling early in this match, with Quake powdering and mouthing off to Andre. Andre's teeth looked like shark teeth. Andre gets the mic before any contact in this match. Andre told Quake to think twice of his actions. Andre says he's going to be around for a long time. Too bad that wasn't true. The crowd loves Andre. Andre's promo wasn't The Rock or anything, but everyone was quiet and exploded when he was done.

Quake & Jake are hardly doing anything, as instead of going at it like two heated rivals, they were stalling alot. The DDT chant broke out early too.

Heenan & Monsoon are just great on commentary. The bickering and jokes are very entertaining. Jake went for more headlocks in that match than Randy Orton goes for. I can't believe I just saw Quake bump for a kneelift. SHORT ARM CLOTHESLINE! Quake goes down again!

For a big man, Quake threw a great atomic drop.

Something else I noticed was how much slack the ropes had. They would shake alot once someone hit them, while today they don't give that much.

After commercials, we come back with Quake destroying Jake in the corner. Quake also threw some pretty big elbows too. Quake went for his Quake splash, bust stopped when he saw Andre about to get up. This would set up the DDT, and the crowd went nuts when he hit it. Jimmy Hart sold thsi well on the outside too. Jake waited a good minute before going for the pin, and still got the win. Today everyone kicks out of the DDT, but Jake had it, waited a minute and still won cleanly over a big guy.

Andre is moving like today's Abby and couldn't get in the ring. Quake attacked Jake after the match and Andre couldnt' make the save since he couldn't get in the ring. Quake went to go after Andre but Jake chased him to the back with Lucifer. Fun times, fun times.

Promo with Paul Bearer with Sean fucking Mooney aired next. They need to make Sean Mooney figure. That guy was the voice for alot of kids on Sunday mornings.

Another promo for tonight's Bodybag match, featuring Warrior and Undertaker.

When you watch this, who would've ever thought the Undertaker would last 18 years with this gimmick? One of the greatest of all time, definitely.

The Warrior looks jakked here too. I just saw pictures of today's Warrior, what a fall from grace.

During this era, Taker wasn't all tatted up. I wonder what made him decide to get all inked up in his 30's. Watching Taker & Andre on the same show, you can't wonder but what if?

More commercials, as they are dragging this out a bit.

This match is a bodybag match. Monsoon & Hayes sell the importance and how dangerous this match is.

Bodybag Match
The Undertaker w/Paul Bearer vs The Ultimate Warrior
Fink lays out the rules for us. I don't know why WWE doesn't let him do a RAW every now and then. I loved when he used to announce the Rumble. "NOW LET'S SEE WHO DREW NUMBER ONE".

The crowd exploded for Warrior here. Taker was nearly almost through his rookie year in the WWF and getting huge matches already.

Warrior started the match on the floor right away, attackign the Undertaker. Lots of energy in this match and the crowd was very into it.

The announcers sell the match more about the only way to win is to stuff your opponent in a body bag.

I remember hating the Warrior alot and being the only kid wanting Undertaker to win this match. Even then, I thought warrior sucked.

When Warrior slammed Taker in this match, the crowd gave him an almost Hogan/Andre slam pop. It's incredible the crowd heat in MSG. Today during RAW, the crowd is bored to death during most of the matches.

For some reason, when Warrior missed an elbow, he started humping the ring. Isn't this the guy who goes on anti-homosexual rants?

Taker is choking warrior in the corner when we returned from the commercial break. WOW! Warrior hit the most sloppiest pile driver ever, giving Taker no protection on the way down. Warrior did a safer one the second time. Bearer had Taker rise up with the power of the urn.

Warrior dropped Taker with another one. Taker wouldn't rise when Bearer wanted him too. Taker did block a Warrior splash though.

Taker hit one of the safest tombstones ever. Warrior looked like he was fighting it a bit. Warrior started convulsing as Taker got the body bag, which looked like a huge hefty bag.

Taker had Warrior halfway in the bag, but Warrior started fighting out of it. Warrior broke out of the bag and the crowd was happy, but it wasn't Hogan happy.

I always hated Warrior's clotheslines routine. Why did the guy always get back up for two more? Warrior that cheat, even hit Taker with Bearer's urn. What kind of example was that Warrior!?!?

It took Warrior forever to put Taker in the bodybag. It kind of kiled the crowd heat a bit as Warrior was struggling to get him in this. Warrior won this match, as he did with all his Taker matches. Taker would always lose these coffin, casket and bodybag matches to Warrior which made you wonde why this was his signature match. Bearer immediately unzipped Taker after the match. Taker sat up and no sold the finish and walked to the back. So all the talk abotu the craziness of this match went to waste as Taker was none worse for the wear, which did make sense for his gimmick.

Not a bad Warrior match, but yea, Warrior was no Hogan.

Overall- a great hour from the 90's.

Hour 2
Our host, Mean Gene welcomes us to the show. Lots of good matches announced for tonight.

WWF Tag Team Title Match
The Wild Samoans vs (c) Dick Murdoch & Adrian Adonis

Special Ref: Captain Lou Albano

Your commentators are Monsoon & Hayes. It's funny how different MSG in the early 80's looked from even the 90's show to today.

Albano is a heel now, as he just turned on The Samoans. Hayes calls Albano a bizarre character. Monsoon says Lou is a walking advertisement for birth control. Monsoon being mad catty.

I forgot Murdoch & Adonis were WWF tag champions at this time. I also forgot Afa had a mean left hook, as he tagged Murdoch with a shot. For all the stuff & death & drug shit in wrestling, you never hear of the Samoans in any of this crap. I think the Samoans have the cleanest & longest legacy, as a wrestling family, as tragedy hit every other wrestling family besides them. Sure Yokozuna died, but he was overweight and it was health related.

Watching Murdoch here, Trevor Murdoch looks nothing nor wrestles anything like him.

The Samoans had alot of babyface heat in this match. This match, to quote JR, is a slobberknocker, with lots of fists, elbows and other beefy moves.

Lou, who just turned on the Samoans, hasn't really crossed them as we go to commercial break, 10 minutes into this.

This has been a pretty good tag team match. Very old school match too. You don't hear crowds pop this way for tag team wrestling like they did here.

Albano wouldn't count a three for the Samoans when Murdoch was laid out. The Samoans chased Albano around the ring. Albano then DQ'd them. The crowd was pissed. Fink is still bald during this, but had the horseshoe shit going.

The champs put the boots to the Samoans after the match. Eventually the Samoans get up and the champs powder to the back. The Samoans hold up the belts and the crowd pops. I can't believe the reaction for this, it's huge. Just for a tag match, you dont' see that.

The champs came back to the ring. They fight a bit and grab their belts back. Good stuff here.

We rewind back to August 25, 1984. We are told Hogan is our World Champ, Santana is the IC Champ & Murdoch/Adonis are our tag champs. Imagine years from now trying to recap all the champions of today for the future? The print would have to be really small to get it on the screen at once.

Roddy Piper vs Jimmy Snuka
We rewind and see what led up to this match. The crowd is boooing the hell out of Piper.

I don't know if it's the hi-def TV, but Piper had really bad acne here. Maybe it was from the roids.

Again, they hype how mad Snuka is at Piper, but when the bell rings, Snuka just stands there. Piper then powders out and kills some time.

This was a slow match for a big feud. Piper used all the thumbs and gimmicks to the eyes. Piper threw some mean rights here too.

After commercials, we are treated to Snuka tossing Piper over the top rope and landing on the real concrete, as there were no mats there.

This match then went to the floor where the guys brawled and hit each other with weapons. Snuka busted Piper open and Piper freaked out when he saw his own blood.

Snuka then went for a splash in this match only for Piper to blow the spot where he was supposed to catch him. Snuka went diving to the floor as Piper half caught him and tossed him.

Snuka was counted out so Piper won. After the match, Piper beat Snuka up with a chair.

When you hear these old timer stories about how they couldn't walk out of the building alive, that is the heat Piper got here. If it weren't for the 4 cops and 2 security guards walking Piper to the back, who knows what would've happened to Piper. Another well told story here.

After commercials, we are taken to the locker room. Snuka is out on a stretcher. He has an oxygen mask on. This was a great way to sell the attack and made you want to see another rematch.

Snuka is laid out and Alfred Hayes is asking the Doctor questions about Snuka's health. The Dr says Snuka may have a concussion. They really sold this up well, but it is kind of odd that Hayes can sit there over Snuka while he's unconscious.

AND YEA!!!!! NEXT WEEK: HOGAN VS PERFECT (This was a great match if it's the one I'm thinking of) & The Hart Foundation vs The British Bulldogs, which can't be bad. I'm telling you these shows remind you why you watched wrestling in the first place. This is the first show in a while, and I'm finally a fan of something again.

WWF IC Title Match
(C) Tito Santana vs Greg "The Hammer" Valentine
Ha, this is a match that still happens today! Should I give Eric Simms another plug here, as he books both these guys out, all while putting some extra cash in his own pocket! That's No BS, That's ESS!

While in the middle of this match, it's funny that both these guys work the same type of match back then as they do today. Do you think any of these indy guys who land on their neck, dive through chairs and do a million spots, will even be able to wrestle 20 years from now? 10 years from now? 5? Ask Ric Blade. Fucking Tito & Greg are having the same match almost a quarter century later, at an NWS or ECPW show near you.

Valentine hit a great shoulder breaker in this match. I wonder why more people don't use that move today.

We cut backstage with 10 minutes to go in the show, to see Snuka still on a stretcher. What's taking them so long to get him to an ambulance? I can't believe they cut away from the match. I don't remember WWF cutting to the back during matches during this era. I guess you learn something new everyday. Monsoon tells us to say a prayer for Snuka. They are really milking this up good. In ECW or any indy show you see a guy take 59459 chair shots and kick out at 2. Snuka got 2 shots to the ribs from Piper and selling it like he got shot in the face with 500 pounds of HIV.

We're back as Tito accidentally bumps into the ref. Arriba man hit a high cross body for the three, but Valentine's foot was on the rope. Valentine attacked Tito immediately and slapped on the figure four. Tito is tapping but the match is already over, even though Valentine's foot was on the rope. This is our second babyface to get beat up after the match. Kind of odd to do this finish since they are selling Snuka's injury.

Tito is announced the winner. Valentine poses with the belt anyway. I still don't get doing a Tito injury angle, as he gimping around the ring, when they are all up in arms about Snuka.

Valentine is getting pelted with garbage here as he poses with Tito's belt. This is the most heat I ever seen Valentine get.

Backstage interview with Valentine. Greg calls Tito "Chico". He says he works at Taco Bell & cleans garbage trucks. Did Michael Hayes write this? Valentine talks about how the ref screwed up the finish. Valentine says he walked out on his own power so he should be champion. Valentine says he beat Tito and he should be champion. Good promo from a guy not known for it.

Tito does a promo. Tito is in pain with his knee. Tito is mad that Valentine tried to injure him after the match. Tito challenges Valentine for a rematch. Tito talks about his 30 day title defense clause. You can see Alfred Hayes looking at the camera man for the go home signal. Not exactly the best promo in the world, as it made Tito look like a wuss.

Overall- it's fun to watch wrestling again!

I thought the first hour was better, maybe because at that time I was really hitting my markdom as 9 year old fan and remember everything from that era. I didn't get the back-to-back injuries during the second hour.

I need to do a column about the life of a WWF wrestler and how it all ends up with your number in the evil Eric Simms black book. This show was like an ESS convention.

The fastest two hours in wrestling is on Wednesday night. I hope they never take this show off the air.

Sean "The MiC" McCaffrey
BULLSMC@aol.com

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