I don’t think it’s any secret that the WWE sucks! From it’s long ago days of glory, the federation has become a clusterfuck of bland characters, illogical plot twists, long, boring wrestler promos, interchangeable carbon-copy, eye-candy divas, robotic announcers and shills, and when any actual WRESTLING does occur, it’s only exciting by accident, in spite of the “creative” minds booking the so-called action.

There used to be a time when WWE television shows succeeded in pumping up fan excitement and anticipation but now WWE programming is more likely to cause nausea and induce narcoleptic episodes of brain-numbing, coma-like intensity.

And Pay Per Views? In this, the New Dark Ages, even Wrestlemania doesn’t stand out from the multitude of mediocre PPVs the WWE spoon feeds it’s dwindling fan base. Hey, when a PPV is indistinguishable from a regular RAW or Smackdown show, something is seriously wrong! Wrestlers on the WWE roster can sense this and, like rats deserting a sinking ship, are beginning to seek employment and creative respect elsewhere. Jericho, Christian and (maybe) Benoit are just the tip of an iceberg that’s going to sink Vince’s Titanic.

It won’t be long before the fans get tired of the WWE’s never ending stream of self indulgent, arrogant product offerings and take their money to some alternative entertainment, leaving Vince and his dysfunctional family alone to piss on their company’s long and storied history. Yep, the once mighty WWE has fallen into a state of ABSOLUTE SUCKNESS!!!

So how did this happen? How did the Greatest wrestling show on Earth become an empty parody of itself, feasting like a parasite on the loyalty of it’s fans? It’s pretty simple really…..People told Vince he was God and he believed them, using his power to create his own Bizzaro universe where “Wrestling” is “Sports Entertainment” and “wrestlers” are human advertisements shilling WWE merchandise. The WWE’s product is no longer Pro-Wrestling. It’s the WWE itself and wrestlers (and what they do) are just a small part of what Vince uses to sell his Kingdom to the brain-dead masses.

There was a time (way back before they got the ‘F’ out) when pro-wrestling was most often described as a soap opera for young males. It was actually quite an accurate definition. Like Soap operas, wrestling had over the top exaggerated characters involved in long-lasting complicated storylines. It wasn’t uncommon for feuds and storylines to develop over months and months, finally culminating in huge matches at very infrequent PPVs and/or Supercard House Shows.

There were many outrageous characters from top to bottom of the roster and the storylines guiding their matches were often outrageous as well but they at least followed some sort of logic within the story and maintained a respect for past ‘history.’ Fans were able to follow along as stories developed and lengthened into epic feuds. Central to these long running storyline successes was the adherence to wrestling’s age old portrayal of the struggle between good and evil.

All was good. Lots of squash matches on TV to whet the fans appetite to attend house shows. (The only real chance to watch the big boys square off ) Also important - only about 4 PPVs a year which gave plenty of time to build to the show.

Things started going bad when Vince stopped making “soap operas” and started “making movies.”

I recall an interview with Vince ‘round about the time RAW started and more PPVs began showing up. He actually said: “We make movies.” MOVIES!!! Little two hour stories each week on RAW. No real storyline development beyond hyping next weeks show. House shows became a phone-in for many workers because everyone knew RAW was the place to shine. And many fans, now able to see stars battle each other each week on RAW had no reason to pay good money to see a house show when they could see them on live TV for free.

Pretty soon there was a PPV every month and Vince wasn’t making movies anymore. He wasn’t even making sit-coms. He was making commercials!!! That is what WWE television has become. A commercial for the monthly PPVs. And the PPVs themselves, more often than not are just set-ups for the next RAW or Smackdown.

There is little consistency from one PPV to the next and even the wrestlers have become homogenized robots. With stars flipping almost weekly from ‘good’ to ‘bad’ and past storylines ignored or forgotten there is nothing but the in-ring action to excite the crowd and anyone who doesn’t think THAT has suffered under Vince’s reign needs to wake up. Where are the characters? I see a parade of cookie-cutter “sports entertainers” pretending to be pro-wrestlers. (How ironic is THAT?) None of this is exciting. None of it makes sense. It’s all designed to sell another T-shirt, action figure or PPV.

And yea, Vince is making some good coin off the WWE owned wrestling video archives but what kind of DVDs will they make from this modern era? Six hours of Triple H’s boring promos? Shit, all I’ve got to do is watch a month of RAW for that! If you took ALL of last years WWE PPVs you might find enough quality matches to fill maybe two DVDs. Yea, yea, there’s been some great examples of wrestling in the WWE in the last 2 years but will you remember them ten years from now? Without a decent storyline behind them it’s just another forgettable encounter, even if it is Angle/Benoit.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen! From soap operas to movies to commercials to one long never-ending infomercial for Vince’s WWE style “Sports Entertainment” crap, the downward spiral is almost complete.

Vince changed the face of wrestling forever, and not in a good way. That is why the WWE SUCKS!!! And Vince deserves a kick in the grapefruits!

So says the wizard of id.
I love the DOI
Fuck you, if you don’t.