The “DOI BASH”
An essay by the wizard of id.

I thought I’d take a moment to ramble on about the plethora of threads and posts dedicated to the sweet science of “bashing.” The DOI message board is infamous for the bashers that lurk here and the methods, creativity, cruelty, depravity and humor they use in their attacks. This type of behavior is certainly not limited to the DOI board. Bashing can be found on almost any message board. However, here at the DOI, it’s taken to a new high, (or low, depending on your point of view.)

Bashing, is the number one complaint critics have with the DOI board and the site itself. Sophomoric. Slanderous. Libelous, Juvenile. Perverted. These are just some of the labels given to DOI message board bash threads and the people who post them. It is the bashing that critics point to when they exclaim that the DOI, it’s owners and staff, its message board regulars and it’s very existence, are a blight on wrestling in particular and all that is good and righteous in general.

In other words….some critics hate the bashes and those who make them. They think we’re all fucking idiots with no lives or redeeming human value. In some cases, they’re probably right, but they’re way off the mark to slam everyone because of a few who went directly from Crayolas to the keyboard. All bashes are not the same and the people behind them range from drooling semi-literate obsessives to highly creative, articulate writers of seriously funny satire.

Just what IS a “DOI bash” and what kind of people post them? Well, anonymity and fake names hide the identity of most bashers but they generally fall into five categories. Some of course fit more than one type. They are:

1) The Repetitive Brain-Dead Mudslinger
2) The Racist Propagandist
3) The Fed/Company Basher
4) The Puppet Master
5) The Specialist

Before I begin a windy dissertation on the above listed bashers and the types of bashes they create I’d like to point out that this essay deals only with crafted bashes, not reactionary ones that break out in “regular” discussion threads. By that I mean disagreements between posters that become thread specific mini-bashes. You know, like when Random Dude tears into someone or everyone’s favorite rohbot, Xias, dismisses his critics with a literary flick of the wrist.

There is also one DOI bash “type” that deserves singular mention: “(insert name here) HAS FULL BLOWN AIDS AND RAPED TARA CHARISMA” This isn’t really a bash. As the hapless victim of countless AIDS infected rapists, Tara Charisma has reached Iconic status here on the DOI message board. Obviously, only a dumbfuck numbskull would believe it’s anything but what it is…a running joke. (For both Tara and her rapists it’s actually a form of flattery, in a funhouse mirror kind of way.)

Anyway, what follows is a look at the five main types of DOI bashers and the bashes they create.

1) The Repetitive Brain-Dead Mudslinger (RBDM)
One of the most common basher types, RBDMs are responsible for the bulk of DOI bash threads and are the most juvenile, pathetic, ineffectual type of bashers on the board. They create multiple, (seemingly endless) threads usually containing a single (misspelled) utterance of juvenile intellect. They usually target specific individuals but some do fixate on indy feds. RBDMs seem to feel repeating the same stupid insult or lie enough times might actually make someone believe them. The result is numerous boring threads filled daily with similar posts by the same basher. No wonder critics slam the DOI if they happen to visit when the board’s been inundated with the crap these idiots produce. Common targets of RBDMs are Adam Lash, April Hunter, Anyone named Eric, Dave & Gena Levy, Rob Feinstein and numerous others. Aside from arguing whether the accusations and claims RBDMs make about their targets are true or not, it must be said: You brain-dead dumbfucks need to step up your game! Lazy, unimaginative, repetitive posting makes you look like ineffectual basement dwelling retards. You do the subjects of your anger and hate no harm at all with your infantile little outbursts. You come across like idiots and you make the rest of us look bad by association. Develop some real bashing skills, learn some writing skills and get a sense of humor or please, just fuck off.
Quite often the Repetitive Brain-Dead Mudslinger is also…..

2) The Racist Propagandist (RP)
These bashers are easy to spot. Almost always targeting individuals (but they do hit feds when it serves their needs) RP’s not only create multiple threads they also commonly interject themselves into other threads, hijacking them outright. Not all Racist Propagandists are RBDMs, some are educated individuals able to craft well written cohesive bashes and some have a detailed knowledge of the wrestling business and/or their targets. Recent targets of their particularly vile opinions include Billy Firehawk, Slyck Wagner Brown and anyone named Eric who’s a Jew. It goes without saying that the Racist Propagandist bashers do little to elevate the DOI’s value to anyone except other racists.

3) The Fed/Company Basher (FCB)
FCBs are almost always at least semi-literate , able to write a bash containing some logic and cohesive progression of their point. Unlike the previous two basher types, FCBs are likely to get a response from someone defending the targeted Fed. This often leads to spirited (albeit sometimes MEAN spirited) exchanges of insults, opinions and (gasp!) even intelligent discussions have been known to break out. Fed bashing threads are also commonly done tongue-in-cheek. Humorous teasing and mild criticisms often designed solely to get a rise out of that Fed’s fans. No doubt ROH is the favorite target of FCBs but Cyberspace, PWU, UXW, NWS and others all take their hits here on the DOI. The single most endearing factor FCBs have that the previous types do not, is the ability to confine their bashes to only one or two threads. It’s much more enjoyable to read multiple posts (from at least two different people) in a single thread, than it is to scroll past a gazillion threads all containing a variation of the same seven word crapbash.

4) The Puppet Master
There is no more single minded DOI basher than one who fancies himself a Puppet Master. Targeting one specific individual, their entire bash is an exercise in drawing out their prey to attack them head on, one to one. Puppet Masters are a rare breed for two reasons: 1) They are easily dismantled and stripped of bashing credibility if they target someone smarter, quicker, funnier or sicker than they are. 2) their “puppet” often ignores them. The two most prominent DOI message board targets of self-proclaimed Puppet Masters are Anthony DeBlasi and Tiny Tim. DeBlasi’s past skirmishes with the basher Old School were truly remarkable for their intensity and endurance. A feud for the ages, that one was. There are (wannabe?) Puppet Masters who continue to try and pull DiBlasi’s strings but the Funker is not so quick to dance for anyone these days. And Tiny Tim? Well, Tim’s a resilient bastard and so apparently is his personal Puppet Master. They continue to spar back and forth. These message board duals can be entertaining or boring depending on the effort and creativity of the combatants. It’s arguable about who dances for who in these mutual bash fests. They are the comedy match on the card.

5) The Specialist
These are DOI bashers of the highest order. Knowledgeable, intelligent, talented writers whose bashes become much more than attacks against individuals and companies. They transcend the confines of message board posting and stand, rightfully so, beside legitimate works of parody and satire. The effort and dedication of a Specialist is eclipsed only by their writing talent. Even if you disagree with everything they say you can’t help but admire the way they say it. Can’t deny the pure enjoyment and laughter reading their bashes provokes. As DOI bashers go….The Specialist is at the top of the food chain. Only personal burnout can stop them. Currently on the DOI, the reigning king of satire and parody, the undisputed top drawer A-Numba One basher of bashers….the fucking SPECIALIST is…. the twisted evil genius behind the Gino Moore parodies. Folks, right now, no one does it better.

These then, are the main types of DOI bashers. There are many sub-types: The annoying idiots who resurrect long dead threads for example. It should be noted that I did not discuss the other factor critics cite when complaining about DOI bashers, to wit: the depths of depravity and excessive profanity that many bashers wallow in. Pedophilia, incest, bestiality, dead relatives, homosexuality and every profane invective known to man (and new ones even) all make regular appearances in ALL DOI bash thread categories. It’s a matter of taste as to what one finds offensive. Personally, I’d rather read ONE well written story about a manatee and a purple vibrator that look at a million posts that say, in one way or another, “adum ur a fag.”

If there was a point to any of this (besides wasting some time amusing myself) I’ve forgotten what it was.

Oh yea, I remember!
I love the DOI.
Fuck you, if you don’t.
Sincerely,
The wizard of id.