"Shootin' With The Snapshot"
by Eric Simms

YA MON, IRIE MON!!. I JUST GOT BACK FROM THE BEST VACATION I EVER HAD. I was in Jamaica for 5 days. My sister got married down there and we decided to make it a small vacation. I will not bore you with the useless details of the trip but I will highlight the good stuff. Once I got outside of customs and immigration in Jamaica and before getting on the bus to take me to my resort I was approached my a few people wanting to sell me drugs. Tommy Fierro this would have been heaven to you. Jamaica is known for a few things. The 2 most notable being tourism -- they take care of you a -z 24 hours a day. They are nice about that. The second is drugs. If you want to smoke to pot or whatever you want its very easy to get. The cops really don't care but you have to be smart about it. We all stayed in Negril which is about a 90 minute ride from Montego Bay which is where we flew into. We stayed in an all inclusive resort. That means all you can eat and drink 24 hours a day. Somehow I think the Iron Sheik would love this island and he would be feeling good all day long and my friend the Sean the Mic, free alcohol and he is there. The water was nice and blue, one of the pools had a bar in the water, there was 4 restaurants on the resort. It was just paradise for 5 days. I wish I could of stayed longer. I partied hard for 5 days. Anyone that knows me knows that I am sort of uptight and straight edge but I declared myself single for 5 days and let it ride. I don't drink but they had these tropical juice drinks that were non alcoholic that did the trick for me. I hung out with the other single guys from our group and we had a blast. There were so many topless women on the beach and the eye candy was just awesome. We were 4 resorts away from Hedonism 2 which is the adult nude party resort. We could have gone there to visit but they charge a lot of money for a 1 day pass. After I went para sailing the boat operator passed by that resort and it was cool. Saturday night after my sister's wedding a bunch of us went into town for some adult entertainment. We hired one of the bellhops to be our guide because we are told not to go into town by ourselves. We ended up at XXX that is a go go bar unlike anything in the states. Once in they dance on the stage and then come sit next to you trying to get you into the private room. They go topless and sometimes they sneak you a peak. Personally, I thought most of those girls were skanky worse than a certain valet that gets made fun of on my favorite masked persons hotline. Some girl who was paying attention to me tried to get me to go to the private room but I just was not interested in her. Even though I declared myself single for the week I have something back home here that at least I know is clean and disease free. I started to speak a little Jamaican down there. Everything is ya mon, no problem is the big thing down there and irie mon which means everything is cool and respect and you make a fist and go fist to fist lightly. I did not really care for the food down there which was the only draw back for me as they put spice in there food and its not like back here in the states. The big thing is jerk chicken or anything jerk which is bbq chicken in a spicy jerk sauce. Some of us were smoking ganja ( pot ) in the ocean out in public view and no one was bothering us. Keep in mind I don't do it but I was around it. The best pot around is down there as it makes you so relaxed so I am told. My sisters wedding was Saturday night and it was done very nicely and the 37 of us that made the trip to the island were very happy to see her get married. Our final night on the island a bunch of us took a catamaran to Rick's Bar which is world famous for cliff diving and watching the sun set. They let the tourists jump off the cliff and they have the Jamaican divers there that go off the trees for a price of course and that was fun to do. Overall with sitting on the beach and doing all the activities out there not to mention the company I kept ( the other single guys ) made for one of the best vacations I ever had. I got to the states late Monday night and it has taken me at least 4 days to recover from my good time. For those that e mailed me wondering why I took the week off well I was so tired that I just decided to wait and do one this week. I highly recommend that if you never experienced going to an island and to an all inclusive resort to do so as its paradise and well worth the money if you get into a good resort.

Back to business now!!

Before I left for vacation I was getting crucified on the doi message board with fake posts about my past. While there is some truth to it some of it is twisted a little to make me look bad not to mention I have a different look on it. To my loyal fans I ask for forgiveness. At least my heart is true and my intentions are real and not a lousy sob story from a young adult that is nothing but a drunk that has talent but is pissing it away. To my loyal fans next time you see me at a show, mention my column and I will give you a 1% discount for cash lol. I know who is behind it as it was kind of obvious to me and someone who has kept sort of quiet as of late but is friends with this person and all I can say is you cannot trust a car salesman.

Anthony the Funker also wrote some shit about me on the board saying its a work about his drug dealing but I confirmed it with 2 very high up people who have no reason to lie to me. Stop talking shit about me. If you have any issues with me or my writing take them up with me personally. I am planning on attending the Sept 17 USA PRO show and also will be at the USA pro convention in Oct.

I also noticed that someone has registered my name on the doi board. Just to let everyone know that it is not me. I find some of the comments humorous but they are not my words. I do not go around threatening people or the such on these boards

I just read the sob story from Tommy Fierro. Wow!! CRY ME A RIVER. Tommy does not deserve your sympathy he deserves your pity. This is a person who for the most part has a good head on his shoulders and had a cash cow with his wrestling conventions but wasn't smart enough to do the right thing. Tommy claims never to have done drugs. YOUR A LIAR TOMMY. How many time have you done medicine or got medicine for the Iron Sheik. I have been there. You want to fake post about the SSCW show where the Sheik worked for free. Its kind of a shame that you asked him to work on a show that he wasn't booked on but I had him in town and thought Sheik and I could make some gimmick money. Needless to say SSCW did not draw all that well with many top stars on it. But you persuaded him to work for free in return for some beer and medicine and once the Sheik gets around the partying I am always the fall guy because he feels the need to get himself over my demeaning me. Hey that's something for you to be proud of Tommy.

You feel ashamed of yourself because you just admitted to everyone that you have a problem. We all have our problems and our demons. How ashamed did you feel when after your last convention you got the Sheik so drunk and fucked up that it almost cost me a friendship and a business relationship with him. Everyone knows the Sheik has a problem but you all feed into it just for you own amusement.

Tommy, this is not a recent problem. You have had these problems for years. It is not the first time you lost something you allegedly love. What about your former wrestling promotions IPSW. What about your contracts with the city of Wildwood, NJ. You have screwed and used everyone in this business including those that care for you the most. You cry about how people do things and how people have bad attendance. Toward the end of your promotions, you weren't drawing flies and you false billing advertised wrestlers and the Nitro girls. I was told how you were mourning a loss of a great personal friend of yours someone you considered a second father but remember dude, I was in Bordentown when you used to charge your friends to get into the shows and then lie to your buddy and say you let them in for free. And remember our famous after show dinners at Adelphia's restaurant after the Woodbury Armory shows, your famous GIMMICK for getting out of paying for the bill. Where you went to one of the blond wrestlers and pull a strand of hair and wrapped it around the food you were eating and calling the waitress telling them you got sick and asking them what they can do to make it right. Oh yea Tommy, that is not your only way of cheating the system. You always happened to leave early because you had a long ride. So you would collect all your friends money, as you were running out the door you threw what looked to be a was of money to cover your bill which was over a hundred some dollars, mostly all you threw was a bunch of rolled up single dollar bills and ran out the door. Not only did you cheat the restaurant but you cheated the boys as well. But one time when you went back to the restaurant they were waiting for you. You either paid up or were going to jail. Because the Big Kahuna gave you up because he as well as the rest of the crew got tired of paying the bulk of your way. You claim to feel like shit because you finally have to admit that you have a problem. But you didn't feel like shit when you got the Sheik so fucked up that it nearly caused a riot at pub 46. I know I am repeating myself from earlier but I feel it needs to be repeated. Tommy, when you give medicine and booze to a person with a psychological addiction it is as bad as giving a bowl of sugar to a diabetic. You are blaming everything on your so called emotional problems. Look in the mirror Thomas, you are the one that did this to yourself. You are self destructive and have little or no regard for anyone other than yourself. You claim to have a lot of heart and this is personal to you but this is just another angle and its the pity angle just to cover your own indiscretions. It has always been known as the greatest angle in wrestling.
" ADMIT YOUR SHORTCOMINGS AND THE FANS WILL TURN YOU FACE AND YOU CAN STILL BE THE SAME BLACK HEARTED SOB, BECAUSE REMEMBER ONE THING, YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TRY TO CHANGE YOUR GIMMICK."

You are stating that you are going to the Bahamas to clear your head. That is all well and good. I guess that means one last high or one last drinking binge probably because of the all inclusive resort that you might be at. Instead of going to the Bahamas you should be going to THE BETTY FORD CLINIC or at least AA. You need to change your life Tommy, as should we all. At least I have changed my business practices from 10 years ago which is where all the war stories that you are fake posting about came from. Remember there are a lot of dark secrets that you don't want revealed? Do you Tommy.

You claim to be mad at yourself and shaking your head in disgust but you weren't doing that at pub 46 and I know I am repeating myself but again it's worth repeating that you should be disgusted with yourself for your alleged almost criminal actions with the Sheik against me. Especially since I was there just to help you out because remember one thing Thomas, the man who plans the crime and the man that does the crime when you go to jail you get the same amount of time. Ribs are ribs and jokes are jokes but what you attempted was to do bodily harm with a deadly weapon. Think about that while you dry out. Tommy lets end this the way it should have been ended right now. If you ever have a problem with me from past experiences or now step up and lets deal with it anyway you want.

Finally, let's not forget that at the end of the summer the Legends of the Ring will present a great wrestling convention with 3 champion from the era of the territories. AWA, NWA, & WWE COLLIDE as Harley Race, Nick Bockwinkle, & Bob Backlund will be signing autographs and answering your questions on Aug 28 at the Palmer Inn on rt 1 south in Princeton / West Windsor NJ. Also at the convention will be The Wild Samoans Afa & Sika, Dominic Denucci, Lou Albano and more.

Eric Simms
www.esspromotions.com
ESS316@aol.com