"Shootin' With The Snapshot"
by Eric Simms

I want to tell you of a happening this week for me. As I stated in a past column I really enjoyed Angry Matt's column about respect and I have a martial arts story about respect that can be applied to wrestling. Every once in a while I visit the local dojo's ( martial arts schools ) in my area as I am friends with many of the dojo owners. This one school near my house is a satellite school as my friend opened a second school in the next town from his headquarters school. Once I walked in, he was instructing a yellow belt kids class. Once he saw me he immediately stopped class and had all the kids turn and bow to me as a sign of respect. He also introduced me. I have been in martial arts going on 20 years now and have earned the prestigious rank of black belt. I was very touch by this as this has happened to me before in other schools where I am showed respect. Every once in a while I am allowed or invited onto the mat to share some of my knowledge to the young generation. I think they appreciate it. What amazed me more than anything is at the end of the class instead of running out the door with there parents they all lined up to personally greet me and introduce themselves to me. Keep in mind these are young 7-10 year olds. I was very taken back by this. It is nice that at least in this dojo they are doing the right thing with showing proper respect considering I am an outsider and this was my first trip to this particular dojo. How does this apply to wrestling? I do not expect anyone to bow to one another as a sign of respect, but in place of that a simple handshake greeting and a hello would be acceptable. Most already know that but do not practice it. I know how hard it is to be the new guy in the lockerroom and not know anyone or if you see a new person there but these small pleasantries go a long way.

I have noticed a lot of people made the wrestling clothesline hall of fame committee and I along with my friends at the NWS should be considered for this great honor as well.

A special congratulations to my good friend Chris Candido for winning USA PRO US belt. As I always say and always will Chris is one of the best performers in the business. He gets it and knows how to entertain the fans. I just hope his " time " comes sooner than later if ever.

Also a quick plug for USA PRO congratulations on another sold out show as I heard it was great. I plan on attending there shows starting in the fall.

Next week is the JCW J CUP Sunday, June 27 at 2 pm at the Boys and Girls Club of Garfield and looks to be a great show.

Lets have some fun now. As everyone knows this year is an Olympic year. What if pro wrestling had there own Olympics. Here are some of the categories I though of and keep in mind that these categories look at the other side of the business:

1. How many rats can a wrestler pick up at the bar on any given night?
2. How many rats can a wrestler score with in on any given night?
3. How many beers or mixed drinks can a wrestler drink at the bar in one night?
4. How many wrestlers can a rat have sex with in 20 years and keep her amateur status?
5. How many pills can a wrestler slip in a drink at the bar in any given night?
6. How many dealers can a promoter screw in one event?
As soon as my creative team and I can come up with new events I will list them in my column

Are you a rat? Some females in and out of wrestling get labeled this. Lets see which females Qualify?

1. Do you spend more than you earn to follow wrestling/wrestlers?
2. Do you borrow money and cannot pay it back to follow wrestling/wrestlers?
3. Do you ignore your personal and/or professional responsibilities for wrestling events, functions, etc?
4. Are you only attracted to people involved in wrestling?
5. Do you give wrestling personas gifts such as stuffed animals & flowers to get there attention?
6. Do you cater to every need/desire of a wrestling persona ( e.g. fetching ice, airport runs, buying food, sex etc )?
7. Do you wander hotel/motel hallways until dawn looking for your favorite wrestling persona?
8. Are the only statistics that you know about a wrestling persona their clothing size, favorite color, etc?
9. Do you squeeze yourself into the skimpiest outfit that you can find and wear it to wrestling events, functions, etc?
10. Do you sneak to see and or be with a wrestling persona when your boyfriend is not around?
11. Do you have sex with every wrestling persona that you meet?
12. Have the only relationships that you have been engaged in come from wrestling events, functions, etc?
13. Do you have more than one ( 1 ) night stands with a wrestling persona than earned college credits?
14. Have you had sex with more than one ( 1 ) wrestling persona in one ( 1 ) night?
15. Do you do whatever a wrestling persona tells you to do despite how immoral or degrading it may be?
16. Do you allow a wrestling persona to do whatever they want to you no matter how immoral and degrading it may be?
17. Do you consider yourself involved with a wrestling persona when you only see them when they are in town for a wrestling event, function,etc?
18. Is your idea of a romantic weekend spending it at a wrestling event, function, etc. Then at a wrestling persona's hotel/motel room?
19. Does your " kitty " purr everytime someone involved with wrestling walks into your line of vision?
20. Do you hope one day that a wrestler might marry you?

If you answered

1-5 affirmatively = New Born Baby Rat ( still part of the litter )

6-10 affirmatively = Lab Rat ( still experimenting )

11-15 affirmatively = Muskrat ( you are spreading your scent around )

16 -20 affirmatively = Ring Rat ( you have no life, self respect, or morals whatsoever ) Call 1-800 Stalker

next week maybe I will list the top 10 things a mark would do?

As always you can check out the website at http://www.esspromotions.com/

Eric Simms
ESS316@aol.com