The Smart-Mark's Guide To The WWE
Raw Review 12/27/04
By Scott McCarthy
Welcome to the first edition of The Smart-Mark's Guide To The WWE, The goal of this column is to hopefully provide a fun and informative review of WWE programming from my own sometimes humorous point of view. Why did I decide on the title "The Smart-Mark's Guide To The WWE"? Well I wanted something a little more interesting then say "Raw Recap" and it's my own little way of making fun of the smart-mark that I have become. Remember back when you didn't care or even know what "work rate" was and You did not know what a "blown spot" was, all that mattered in the world was watching Hulk Hogan on Saturday morning defeat hated villains like the Iron Sheik, King Kong Bundy, Zeus, "Million Dollar Man" Ted Debiase & Tiger Chun Lee., hopefully these recaps walk the fine line of the fan I have grown up into, the guy who really wanted Austin Aries & American Dragon to go "Three More Hours!" and the fan we all use to be that only wanted Hulk Hogan to win every match, even though he only knew four or five moves tops. Well my cable box tells me it is 9:00PM, so let's watch some good old fashioned Sports Entertainment!
After a brief video package showing Eric Bischoff announcing the Elimination Chamber match for New Year's Revolution Pay Per View, coming up on Sunday, January 9th . Eric Bischoff makes his way out to promote the match, then comments on the fact that the last person released from their cage, will have the best odds of winning (Really? what a great eye for the obvious, next you will tell me the wrestler who draws the #30 spot in the Royal Rumble will have a better chance of winning it). He goes on to say tonight each of the six participants in the Elimination Chamber mach will compete tonight in a series of Beat The Clock contests. Each wrestler set to wrestle in the Elimination Chamber match will fight an unknown opponent and whoever gets the quickest win, will gain that all important last entry into the Elimination Chamber. I must say, I like the concept, I look forward to see how this will play out over the next two hours. Bischoff then has Christy come out, and announces her as the official timekeeper for the show (I Must say as against the whole Diva Search Contest I was, I am defiantly happy with the end result of seeing Christy every Monday night) I Find it kind of odd that even most of the final few "Divas" that were eliminated from the "contest" still managed to get spots in WWE, roster spots once occupied by Billy Gunn and other trained wrestlers, I know it was a business move, but it's annoying to see untrained people replacing people who made Wrestling their lives. Eric Bischoff continue, saying that if should one of the wrestlers lose their match, they will then be replaced in the Main Event of the PPV by the wrestler who beats them, he also mentions that their will be a "Special Guest Referee" and he will announce who it is later on in the night..
The first Beat the Clock match is Chris Jericho vs. Christian, the match starts off with both wrestlers trying to get quick wins with backslides and rollups. Jericho manages to get Christian in the Walls of Jericho rather early, but Christian manages to get to the ropes. That is one rope break for Christian, he has two remaining, wait a minute, just having another RoH flashback. Jericho and Christian exchange quick pin attempts ending with Jericho getting the upper hand. After a series of moves Christian manages to reverse into a inverted neckbreaker. Jericho manages to fight back and Tomko & Christian are outside the ring Jericho comes down from the top rope, taking both of them out ,at this point I miss the finish due to being distracted by playing Raw Interactive, which I have dubbed Digital Crack, I can't get enough of wagering my points to try to get into the top 10,funny how many people seem to go from chat room to chat room, just looking for Jerry "The King" Lawler. Anyway Jericho sets the time at 10:47
Evolution is in the back, and they continue to play up the tension between Triple H and Batista, the segment eventually leads to Batista & Triple H placing a $100 bet, on who can beat their opponent the quickest. Flair once again trying to keep the peace and tells them they have to focus on the Elimination Chamber and making sure they both make it to the main event, so Batista can help Mr. Stephanie McMahon, sorry I mean Triple H walk out as Champion. Randy Orton then is interviewed and he pretty much claims he will have the quickest time and then go on to the New Years Revolution Pay Per View and win the WWE World Heavyweight Title. His Music then comes on and he makes his way to the ring for his "Beat The Clock" match.
Orton is in the ring awaiting his opponent; it ends up being Maven, all but making it a sure thing that Randy Orton will beat Chris Jericho's time of 10:47. The match itself is not half bad, I still do not care that much for Maven, I kind of see him as a novelty act, that just has not worked out. I do not doubt his desire to be a wrestler, but it will be hard for most "Tough Enough" contestants to be taken seriously. Considering the best talent to come out of the Original Tough Enough was actually beaten by Maven. This is only my opinion but I can't be the only one that thinks Chris Nowitski with his Harvard gimmick was great. Back to the match, like I said I actually can't say anything bad about the match, other then it was to obvious that Randy Orton would not only win the match, but also beat Chris Jericho's time. Maven was solid throughout the match, getting a few near pins and reversing the RKO into a backslide, that Orton quickly revered into you guessed it another RKO, Your winner and new leader in "Beat the Clock" with the time 6:14
Now it is time for the Woman's title match with Lita (c) going up against Molly Holly, while Lita's acting ability is horrible (and that is being kind) I think she still has decent in ring skills and having a match with Molly Holly who is very good in the ring, makes it a good match and it was made all the better because it was rather short. Molly started off strong and was in charge most of the match, they do the typical woman's match stuff, like Molly doing the hair toss helicopter to Lita. Lita starts mounting some offense hitting with strong right hands to the face, Stomping on Molly's gut, hitting her with two clotheslines ,Molly goes to hit Lita with an elbow in the corner, but Lita kicks her in the stomach and then hits Molly with a devastating DDT, Lita gets the pin and the win. Snitsky then makes his way out and Lita runs like her life depended on it , Snitsky chases close behind her and Lita slams doors at him, she finally finds a door that locks behind her. Snitsky doing his "Look at me I'm a psycho" thing bangs on the door and tells Lita to come out because he wants to "Play". Finally Eric Bischoff appears and asks Snitsky if he's having fun, Snitsky says he is having a blast. Bischoff says he's glad that he is having such a good time and that he will be having fun at the Pay Per View when he fights Kane! All in all I really thought this segment was done well, and while Gene Snitsky will never be mixed up with Christopher Daniels or Samoa Joe, I think he is great at what he does and that is play the sick psychotic heel, this is the type of guy I would have hated (in the good way, as in he would have had heat) when I first started watching WWF back in 1984. The have done a very good job of building up the Kane-Snitsky-Lita story, but it's odd that now Lita seems happy to be married to Kane, but when has a Kane story not have a major plot hole. Remember this was the guy who wore a mask because his face was burned and couldn't speak without that little voice box device, just for one example. The goal of these segments is to get people to want to see the match at the Pay Per View and in that the WWE writing team has done a great job.
The next match I really didn't care for (Simon Dean vs. Rosey) even though I like the Simon Dean gimmick (Although Nova in WWE would have been great), besides Simon doing all the run of the mill heel stuff to get heat with the crowd, like call the hometown crowd fat porkers. Now, Simon would you have called Blue Meanie that when you were in the BWO? I think not. Like I said I really couldn't get into this match so I will just fast forward to the finish, Rosey goes to the top rope and attempts his version of the Vader-Bomb, but alas poor Rosey misses, then in a funny spot, Simon puts on a weight belt so he can lift the rather hefty Rosey, try as he might he just couldn't do it and Rosey falls right on him, Rosey then goes for the weight belt, but the ref and him have themselves a little tug of war over it, allowing Simon Dean the chance to get a roll up and the pin.
The next match is another one of the "Beat The Clock" series and it has Edge going up against Eugene. I may be the only one who still likes the Eugene gimmick, but it is just a fun gimmick and I like the whole Idiot Savant thing they are doing with him, since it allows him to use almost an endless amount of famous finishers, just because he has seen them. Eugene plays to the crowd, then Edge attacks him playing up the importance of winning quickly Edge attempts a series of quick pins all are 2 counts. Edge needs to beat 6:14, so the pressure is on. Edge continues his attack on Eugene who has yet to remove his jacket. Edge throws Eugene into the ropes and Edge charges at him but misses and he goes to the floor. Eugene now has a chance to remove his jacket, Edge shows some frustration before making his way back into the ring. Eugene starts fighting back, Edge actually gets a 2 count with just pulling Eugene down by the hair, followed quickly by a dropkick that gets yet another 2 count. Time is starting to run out on Edge, Eugene hits what I think is the Electric Chair Drop and scores a 2 ¾ pin count. Eugene heads to the outside of the ring to give high fives to fans, Edge chases Eugene, and Eugene slides under the ring, now with precious time being wasted Edge is becoming more and more annoyed, he stands in the ring and is seething, Eugene finally comes out from under the ring, and as he sneaks into the ring behind Edge he tells the crowd the shush. It does not work and Eugene is kicked in the back of the head and Edge gets a 2 count. Eugene comes back with a Rock Bottom and a Stone Cold Stunner, Edge then hits a spear but it sends Eugene flying outside the ring, and now the clock has expired and Edge does not get the last entry into the Elimination Chamber. Eugene hits the Stunner and is slow to go for the cover, he only gets a two count. Edge now is furious and puts Eugene in a variation of the figure four and Eugene has no choice but to tap out. I liked the match and the used the tension of the time limits well. I hope the use this "Beat The Clock" style show again.
Now we see Bischoff on the phone, whoever he is talking to says he will be at Raw TONIGHT, Eric is surprised due to so many flights being canceled across the country, Bischoff looks pleased until Coach comes in and questions Bischoff about who the Special Guest Referee will be. Bischoff tells him, that he will find out when everyone else does, and that not a single person in the Elimination Chamber Match will like it.
This brings us to Chris Benoit vs. Viscera, this is a rather odd pairing as Benoit is arguably the best wrestler in the world and well Viscera needs to go on Trim-spa Baby. The time to beat is still 6:14. I missed a good part of the match due to family distractions and an intense round of questions on Raw Interactive, but it was a decent enough match considering what Benoit had to work with., Viscera had his moments in the match, but eventually Benoit gets him in the crossface with about 1:45 left on the clock, Benoit pulls and pulls but Viscera just doesn't tap, until there is 30 seconds left on the clock. The Winner of the match and new time leader Chris Benoit!
The next segment has Stacy come out, very few can compete with Stacy in the eye candy department, she was one of the few good reasons to watch Nitro, Miss Hancock equaled ratings! Anyway the whole purpose was to set up Mohammed Hassen & Daivari to come out and interrupt a segment that was pointless, but still something the fans wanted to see. While I think the whole angry Arab-American gimmick is not needed, and just an easy way to get a new guy heat. Hassan & Daivari do it well. It harkens back to the days of the Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff. Hassan gives one of the best heel promos in recent memory, he also does a good job off getting his point of few across just enough so you understand why he is the way he is, but not enough to like him. The segment leads to Daivari and Hassan trying to pick a fight with JR & The King. I still think the WWE should have let both Daivari & Hassan establish themselves without the "easy-heat" gimmicks. I have to admit, they do it well, and they really fine tuned the whole gimmick well in OVW. Later in the night it would be announced that next week live on Raw that Jerry "The King" Lawler and Good Old Jim Ross will take on Hassan & Daivari in a debate.
The next beat the clock match is Batista vs. Rhyno, the time to beat is 5:43. Batista pretty much dominates the match, Rhyno does land the gore but it's only for a two count and Batista hits the powerbomb and with three minutes left, he said he wants Triple H to have the fastest time so he hits another powerbomb and goes for the pin, he gets the three count and sets the new time to beat at an incredible 3:02
In the back coach runs into Bischoff's office, to tell him his special guest referee has arrived. Bischoff asks him how he knows it's that guy that is gonna be the ref. Coach says how can it NOT be him. Also backstage Triple H is complaining to Ric Flair about Batista setting the time record. Batista walk in and says he did what he did because Rhyno pissed him off and now Triple H is starting to piss him off. I really like how the are building the tension in the group, they have done it in a way where it's hard to tell if Batista will just up and leave the group or if they are just having a difference of opinion. I look forward to seeing how they play it out at the PPV.
Time for the man event, all the wrestlers who had won their "Beat the Clock" bouts earlier are now sitting ringside. Triple H makes his way out and stares at each of the wrestlers he may face in the Elimination Chamber, if he wins his match against Shelton Benjamin., the time to beat is 3:02. The match starts off with Triple H attacking Shelton quickly and then chocking him out in the ropes, Triple H throws Shelton to the floor and then throws him into the steel stairs (Hey, is everything in wrestling made of steel, is it like a rule or something? Steel Chairs, Steel Chains, Steel Railings, Steel Cages, Steel Pipes and Steel Stairs, and how many of those items are actually steel?) Triple H throws Shelton back into the ring for a two count. Triple H has full control of the match, but he is not just fighting Shelton but also the clock and there is only 1:30 left. Benjamin gets out of a sleeper by ramming Triple H into the post (I bet that's steel too!) Hunter gives Benjamin a stiff kick to the stomach and attempts to hit the Pedigree, but it's revered into a back drop. Triple H goes for another sleeper, and Shelton appears to be out with 10 seconds left! The ref checks Benjamin's arms. As his arm comes down for the third time and the clock hits 0:00 the Ref notices that Shelton's leg was in the ropes. So Triple H does not beat the clock! While Hunter argues with the Referee, Shelton attempts a quick roll up and scores a very, very close 2 ¾ count. Followed by a heel kick that gives Shelton yet another 2 ¾ pin. Shelton receives a hard kick to the stomach and Hunter goes for the Pedigree, but it is revered into a backbreaker, Benjamin climbs to the top rope, Flair interferes, while Shelton is distracted Triple H charges at him, But Benjamin leaps over him and hits a t-bone suplex, Triple H appears to be down for the count but the Ref is still distracted by Flair. Shelton attacks Flair giving Triple H the chance to hit the Pedigree and get the win. Immediately after the match ends, Eric Bischoff comes out and announces that at New Years Revolution that the special guest referee will be none other then "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels. HBK comes out decked out in his ref attire and doing the whole HBK dance thing. All the wrestlers in the ring do not look at all pleased as Raw goes off the air.
All in all, this was one of the best episodes of Raw in awhile, it may not have had the most technically sound matches from top to bottom, and after seeing Ring of Honors "Final Battle 2004" in Philly, Which was a great show! WWE had a hard act to follow, and it may not have any "Match of The Year" candidates it did have some of the best "Sports Entertainment" I have seen from the company in awhile, I hope Raw keeps going in this direction and that the Smackdown writers start copying notes from the Raw brand. Well until next time, thanks for reading!
The information on this website is exclusive property of the Declaration of Independents and cannot be used elsewhere without proper link credit. All DOI purchases are non-refundable.
Copyright 2004, declarationofindependents.net & doiwrestling.com. All Rights Reserved.
|
|
