Lets start off by saying calling this Headly guy a special guest is hilarious. Now I can be wrong but Headly may hail from the great state of E-Bay Auction. Hilarious! I fully expect this match to go at least a half hour and possibly longer. Both guys always give their all at UXW and this match should be no different. I think Raven will pull out the victory for a few reasons. None of which I care to get into any of you dolts!

Good to see both guys back in NY and back in UXW. I’m interested to see how Jake looks and acts. His issues have been well known for a while now. If you don’t know them, you wont hear them here sucka. Anyway, does it matter who wins this match? I just wanna see them. I don’t even care if they don’t wrestle. Just cut a promo. Jake was a great mic guy. I’d also like to see King Kong Bundy give some scrub the 5 count at some point.

Should be a very enjoyable match. Axl is in great shape I hear. I’ve always loved Balls Mahoney and not just in the ring. His antics are great and he has no problem showing his displeasure about anyone or anything right in front of the crowd. He’s a real guy and a really nice guy too. Monsta Mack and Havok are old school Dog House guys. Both spent years with other partners in Dan Maff and Papadon and now find themselves together and champs. My heart picks Mack and Havok but my brain says Balls and Axl. UXW is about “star power” and “big names” so I expect them to win. If I were in charge, they wouldn’t. Balls and Axl don’t need the belts to get over. Mack and Havok don’t either but more so then the other guys. I’m all for keeping the belts off the big name guys and keeping them on the Indy guys. But that’s me.

This should be a great match. Both amazing talents. Trent Acid has been a big time heel in UXW and as the head cheese of Team Philly I expect him and his lackies to pull out all the stops and defeat Elix. Now there is the wild card aspect of Brian Blade! His friendship with Elix Skipper is another well documented thing and it just makes you wonder whose dick Brian is going to suck to get some gold around the waist of Elix Skipper. LOL. Just kidding dude. Or am I?

This match may have some “other” things going on within it. It’s a well known thing that Steve Corino and Homicide hate each others guts. Its also well known that Low Life Louie was trained by Homicide and remains a great friend to him. So will Corino look to take out his anger with Homicide on Louie or will Louie look to get some revenge for his boy? Either way there is one thing you can guarantee and that’s BLOOD!

Sandman’s entrance is always a lot of fun. It never gets old. Good to see Crowbar back in UXW again and with Daffney. She’s looking good too. Lets just hope she’s not screeching like a mad woman. Who wins this match? I have no clue. The match might not even take place with Sandman always a chance to not appear due to some kind of crazy incident. My sources say he’ll be there and he’ll be just like he’s always been – drunk and entertaining! I’ll never forget the time at the Elks Lodge during his entrance when some little whorish chick wanted him to pour beer down her throat and he asked her for ID first and she got it and got her beer! Way to card the chick Sandman. Good job dude. Now pour that beer on her TITS!

Something tells me that the Masked Maniac will win this match. Throw in the fact he’s the greatest masked wrestler of all time and a good friend of Frank Goodman as well and you have the makings of another victory for the Masked One. I wonder what his lifetime record is. Gotta be a .800 winning %. This match reminds me of the last show at the Elks when Sweeney and Maniac went toe to toe. The battle worked its way over to the windows where The MiC and myself were. We got all this on video tape also. Maniac does the double foot stomp off the window sill onto Sweeney and they are both down. All you hear in the background is someone cursing out the Masked Maniac and calling him all kind of anti-Semitic names and just then a full cup of beer splashes right into the face of Sweeney as he lays on the ground! Cup and all! It was kinda fucked up but we couldn’t help but laugh. Whoever did that – both of them should have been escorted out of course. Ha ha ha.

Johnny Candido has been announced for this match leading me to believe he’ll win the match. Who else is in this one? Everyone in the locker room I’m sure.

I’m looking forward to this one big time! I swear. Its going to be hilarious and I’m preparing all my heckling as we speak. I hear these guys have legit heat with each other too. So that should make it more fun. My pick for the match is Mr. Big. Why? Well if Mr. Big wins, he’ll be a happy guy. And when Mr. Big is happy it means 1 thing – Marijuana!

Also scheduled to appear – A HUGE SURPISE!

We all know who the big surprise is at UXW each time but I cant say it. But that doesn’t mean it could be someone else. It could be anyone. I do know of a couple of other wrestlers who are making their returns to UXW after lengthy sabbaticals. So who knows. My choice? I’m going with Big Bully Busick

UXW NY Champion Bison Bravado will defend the title against an unnamed opponent

I say it’s going to be Bison vs. Burger King with Burger King going over with 2 Crispy Chicken Sandwiches. NOT THE MEAL.

Other guys appearing on the show include Mike Kruel, Ghanda Rhea Akbar, Nick Berk, Mike Tobin, Candy and more.

Is it me or does it seem like Kruel has been wrestling for 3249732489 years now? He’s a great talent and sooner or later he’ll get some charisma.

Ghanda Rhea Akbar has made some serious waves since debuting not too long ago. He looks very familiar to me. Hmmmm.

Nick Berk is coming back to UXW. Good to see Berk on WWE tv not too long ago. Jobber. LoL Just kidding dude! Seriously Berk is another great talent and what an opportunity he’s gotten recently.

One of my favorite people in the world – Mike Tobin will be on the scene crispy and clean. The Boogie Knights may be a thing of the past but nothing can take away from what they accomplished and the memories they left behind. Tobin has gone on to a solid singles career thus far and he should continue his rise back up the ladder.

Candy will be back and I’m sure doing something absurd! He’s become a big part of UXW shows because his spots are always hilarious. He reminds me of when JAPW was using Callahan and having him do different gimmicks like 2 Cold Callahan. It was hilarious. Candy has been doing the same and doing a pretty good job of it also.

I’m sure we’ll have a pre-show with some ticket sellers and other folks from E-Bay. Its all going to be a lot of fun. The bad thing about the Long Island shows is that the crowd is usually very subdued. Unlike the Queens crowd that acts like fucking animals. Me, I prefer the animals. It’s a wrestling show and should be treated as such. I’ll be sure to make my voice heard…that is if I show up you douche bags! LOL.

Latas!
Mike Zevon
The 5 Foota
MikeZevon@declarationofindependents.net

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