Note: This is either the best or worst thing I ever wrote. Give it a chance.

As many people know, Carmine Sabia climbed out from under his mothers moo-moo in late 2006, to announce the return and cancellation of SSCW. After many huge press releases, false promises & sticking knives into wrestler & promoter backs, Carmine Sabia got his fill of the wrestling business and successfully cancelled another event.

The DOI has kept Carmine's name alive, as we covered all his latest happenings. For people who aren't aware of Carmine's latest antics, all you have to do is click this link to find out all of Carmine's hijinx.

For those up-to-date, Carmine's latest reason for cancelling his show on fans, friends, wrestlers & peers is because he is going to marry his MySpace girlfriend that he's known for all of 7 weeks. Coming with the girlfriend are two children, because it's better to have someone who can't describe the sun to you, but then claim he has mafia connections, than to be fatherless.

What NOBODY knew besides my top secret inside sources, who are as legit as Carmine's mafia connections or as legit as Carmine saying a snowstorm in May forced him to cancel a show (Carmine once claimed this, true story), is that SSCW did in fact hold a show this past Saturday on February 10!

Knowing Carmine was going to run this top secret event was tough, as I had to venture out to Connecticut for DPW's double- shot. (By the way, stay tuned to the DOI for my review on those shows) However, knowing that SSCW shows start late, I was able to rush from Connecticut to Belleville, NJ, to attend SSCW's first show in nearly 2 1/2 years!

Carmine did not want regular wrestling fans at his secret show, because he wanted to keep the authenticity of SSCW alive, which meant having his mother and nephews set up a bunch of empty chairs around a ring. Carmine did not want the DOI at the show fearing a negative review, so it was hard getting into the show, although I was able to fool Carmine & his mother by wearing a Pat Sajak mask.

And yes for the record, I did give Carmine & his mother autographs as Pat Sajak. When Carmine said it looked like I was heavier than what I looked like on TV, I told him the myth about TV adding 15 pounds is just a myth, and that it actually takes 15 pounds off of you. Carmine, not knowing what people really look like face-to-face anyway, bought my excuse and actually gave me a free ticket as the show. However, he harrassed me all night, begging me to call Vanna White & showing off to me his "Wheel of Fortune" results book.

(Yes that's a true story too and Ricky O & many others can confirm this. Carmine actually has several 5-subject notebooks going back to the 90's, where he recaps/reviews Wheel of Fortune TV shows. It's just like reading a wrestling news report, as he has the name of the subject, the players, and what the answer was. He also keeps track of the money the contestants made on the show. Hey, when you don't leave your house, there aint much to do besides recap Wheel of Fortune and play hide the salami with Grace Sabia.)

With all that said, with my Pat Sajak mask, I attended SSCW's 2/10 event. After not letting the venue knowing he was going to cancel his 2/10 show, Carmine simply just held the show in his front yard. Of course, the talent Carmine used wasn't necessarily good, as they took other bookings once Carmine announced his cancellation. The 2/10 show was totally reworked by Carmine Sabia.

Here's my official review of the event:

SSCW
2/10
From Carmine Sabia's front lawn, in Belleville, NJ
Attendance: 6, which is an improvement for SSCW. However, I believe the paid attendance was 1, as the crowd was made up of myself in a Pat Sajak mask, Carmine himself, Carmine's uncle who paid because he felt bad, Carmine's nephew, and I counted Carmine's mother as 2 people since she took up 2 futons, which she just laid on like she was Jabba The Hutt.

Carmine, doubling up as the ring announcer welcomed us to the rebirth of SSCW. He sang the national anthem and pointed out the fire exits, which were tough to find, because the show was outside. However, despite it being outside, SSCW curtained the "arena" off with Carmine's mothers moo-moos, so fans couldn't watch without getting inside the moo-moo's and paying for a ticket.

A 1999 JAKKS D-Lo Brown Action Figure

defeated

Frankie Hawke
Frankie Hawke, who is Carmine's nephew, fought valiantly against the 6 inch figurine, but unfortunately for Frankie, it wasn't his night. Frankie looked like he had the match won after he slipped on his unlaced shoe and sat on the figure, but before he could get the pin, Carmine Sabia ran in the ring with an Andre The Giant LJN & Haku LJN figure

A promo was up next with Carmine Sabia as he thanked us all for coming. He announced a 3/17 return date, but his mother shouted from the floor that she had no money for another show. Carmine then said the 3/17 show was cancelled due to building problems & a possible rumored alien invasion.

Poco Romeo d. Eric "Vale Tudo" Nyenhuis via countout
This wasn't much of a match, as Poco outsmarted Eric. Eric told everyone about all the people he knew in UFC and how he's great friends with Hulk Hogan.

Poco, getting bored with Eric's stories, pulled out a cell phone. Poco fake dialed and told Eric that he had Bret Hart on the phone. Eric got excited and told everyone he was cool with Bret. Poco then ran out of the ring, and Eric chased him. Poco ran to Carmine's mother and threw the phone at her bulbous behind. Poco ran back to the ring while Eric searched her cavernous booty for the phone to talk to Bret. While this was all going on, Eric was counted out and Poco Romeo won the bout.

At this point in the show, intermission was called, as it took the jaws of life to remove Eric out of Ms. Sabia's behind. There was also a security problem as "The Sure Thing" John Shane was begging to get on to the show, and even said he'd work for free. However, Carmine had his security staff of girl scouts remove John from the venue as Carmine said only the best work in SSCW.

Carmine Sabia's fiancee was seen talking to her sons saying "at least his mother has money to support us." The sons then put on an exhibition match during intermission, which the crowd popped for because it was cute.

The Masked Maniac

defeated Mr. Puerto Rico Ralph Soto
Before the match, Carmine announced that the only reason he hired Soto was because he knows Soto injured legends in the business and wanted to sic Soto on The Maniac. However, Carmine cost Soto the match, as he accidentally wacked Soto over the head with a stack of unsold tickets. The Maniac then took out two hot dogs and stuck one in each of the recutms of Soto & Carmine, and rolled up Soto for the three count.
POSTMATCH: Eric Simms ran out, took out the hotdogs, and then tried selling the hotdogs to fans as "Ring Used" merchandise. Eric also did the point-your-finger-and-say-something-huge trick, as he went by the ticket booth and told Grace Sabia "Look, it's Jared The Subway Guy & Ronald McDonald!" When Grace turned around, Simms was swiped the $10 that Uncle Sabia used to pay for a ticket to the event.

MAIN EVENT
Danny Demanto d. Carmine's Inflatable Girlfriend
PREMATCH: Kevin Matthews & some hooded bandits crashed the show, as they kicked down Carmine's porch and deck areas. Kevin then proceeded to urinate on Carmine's house, saying it was bigger than any wrestling belt. Due to the commotion, the show was rushed to the main event.

Due to lack of wrestlers on the show, and Carmine finding a breathing human woman on MySpace, Carmine volunteered his ex- inflatable girlfriend for this match. Despite it not looking intimidating, as it looked like this:

Danny had a rough time here. Danny flipped through 15 chairs in this match, but in the end it was all worth it, as he won the match after a hogsplash, which popped the blow-up doll and any chances the blow-up doll had of winning.
POSTMATCH: Carmine Sabia ran into the ring and thanked his mommy for letting him have the show. He wished us all a good night and told us to leave right away because Wheel of Fortune was coming on.

Final McWord
Not the best indy show I've been to, but at least it was more entertaining than TNA. Carmine kinda pulled a Firehawk, as he was all over his own show. However, Firehawk never asked fans for autographs, as Carmine did here tonight when he asked me for my autograph, just because he thought I was Pat Sajak.

I don't think concession sales did good at this show because no one wanted to go near the food Carmine's mother was near, as she kept smoking over the food and passing gas all night. A gentle fog was seen emitting from her nether regions for a majority of the show.

Flyers for the already cancelled 3/17 show were seen on the floor, as Carmine went to the roof of his house during intermission to drop them on all the specators. They made good paper airplanes, which were thrown during the main event.

Wayne Ploghofft of NWS was seen stooging around the show and asking wrestlers to cut promos for the website.

Overall
SSCW didn't seem to have much of a direction here, but at least the self-proclaimed George Steinbrenner had another crack with the bat.

SSCW will announce a return date once Carmine Sabia's mother allows Carmine to play wrestling again.

For Eric Walker- no real title belts were used at the show, but Carmine did have a nice collection of Jakks Toy belts which he occassionally would polish in-between matches with the grease used from his mothers brow.

For DVD fans, unfortunately, Carmine's mother ate the camera as she mistook it as a bean burrito. Unfortunately, video footage of this parody show does not exist.

For the real news & reviews, including my Defiant Pro Wrestling 2/10 Double Shot reviews, keep it here on the DOI.

Sean "The MiC" McCaffrey
BULLSMC@aol.com