What up all you McManiacs and welcome to one of Mike Zevon’s most anticipated columns on the DOI site, The McRoss Report! As you see above, we are keeping the song format, and thanks to Billy out in East Rockaway for the quote this week! Lots of people should follow it, as there are way too many “MV’s” running around yapping and flapping their lips. (Don’t know what MV is? Google Nirvana MV)

We got lots of stuff to get into, and not enough time, so this will be faster than a White Castle Fart. And off we go…

Greetings from the man underneath the 5 Gallon Heineken bottle.

Jasmin St. Claire likes a certain sandwich from Spain. It also happens to be a town as well.

Tara Charisma knows how to lock doors.

The DRS don’t.

Speaking of the Dirty Rotten Scoundrelz, it was EC Negro’s birthday this week, and I heard from a reliable source that expect the DRS to have a new look this Friday at ICW!

ICW has a great show lined up with:
Homicide v. Jerry Lynn
Reefer vs Chris Hamrick
Xavier vs Red
The Battle of The MiC vs Mike Zevon
aka The Solution vs DRS (I know Zevon is cracking up right now lol)
Monsta Mack vs Boogalou

And a shit load more. But this is the match that I think the majority of the fans are looking forward to…
Low Life Louie Ramos vs Abdullah The Butcher
This match is going to have more blood than a painful menstrual cycle. I’m looking forward to this one, and I can’t wait to see it this Friday.

Come on down and check out the DOI table, as we should have an interesting cast of characters there all night. It was confirmed on The Masked Maniac’s hotline that he will be there, and will be harassed by Keith Rosenblum for autographs at 3 times in one second for 4 hours straight! Come get the newest issue of the DOI, with a great interview with Livewyre. We’ll also have our Simon Shoot tape on sale, as well as T-shirts. If anything come on down and see how drunk me and Mike will get, and see how much KFC that Frank Goodman can consume. It will be a fun time for all!

Check out the rest of ICW’s show and information at www.icwzone.com

Another show taking place this weekend is ROH. This show is going to be big for a few reasons.
1- Paul Londons last indy match- What more can you say? One of the best indy wrestlers today, and the “E” has snabbed him. He was actually my fave wrestler on the indies, so it looks like when he goes to the “E,” Frankie Hawke will be my new favorite wrestler.

2- Jeff Hardy’s first Northeast Indy Appearance- Does he still have it? It should be interesting to see how he does and how many rats will flock him after the show.

3- ROH going all out- This show looks more stacked than Dolly Parton. I mean this show looks better on paper than their big NY 1st Year Anniversary Show. All the top guys are on the show, and it looks phenomenal. Should be a fun time.

Speaking of other shows, there are two more on Sunday. USA PRO (www.usaprowrestling.com) runs 12-6, and JCW (www.jcwwrestling.com) runs 5-8.
Definitely a great week to be an indy fan. I’m going to make 3 of those shows, but I’d like to make JCW if possible. The only thing that will prevent me from going to JCW is booze, tiredness and the fact that USA will probably run till 9 PM. LoL.
Check out their sites for all the info about the shows, or go to the DOI site for the press releases. The message board should have predictions up soon.

Jimmy James and I do not have a relationship, no matter what you read on the world famous USA PRO message board. For that matter, I have it confirmed that Johnny Bravado does not work at a Massage Parlor. (He works as a proctologist in Manhattan).

Look for a major announcement coming soon on the DOI about a big project. Once it’s ok to talk about, it will be up here on the website.

I’ve lined up a big guest for the DOI, once it’s ready, you can expect the interview here in the upcoming weeks.

I finally got to meet Johnny Thunder face to face at WXW sportsfest, and I gotta say he’s a cool dude. Plus I’m a huge HBK mark, and he has a similar tattoo that I do, so that makes him ok in my book. Look for a Johnny Thunder interview soon.

Speaking of WXW, Sportfest was a great show. WXW has a lot of homegrown talent that can really make a name for themselves. Keep checking the DOI for WXW reviews and more.

I got a shitload of tapes this week, so look for reviews, as soon as I get time on:
JAP 4/12 TV Version
WXW Sportfest 2002
EBW Mayhem
CCW Vol 1-3
Hero’s of Wrestling PPV
3PW’s newest DVD
And a lot more.
If you got something you’d like to see “McReviewed,” drop me an email and we can work something out.

Gotta plug my good buddy Doc Daniels Radio Show. Every Tuesday, from 7- till they get kicked off, log onto: www.hbgpr.org It’s a great show, and offers a variety of opinions on CCW and many other feds.

Just saw Cabbie, from CCW and other feds tape, and I gotta say, he’s got great talent. Could he be in SSCW soon? We’ll find out soon!

As far as CSWF and Alexis Laree goes, I’ve heard a few variations of the story. Instead of posting what I heard from second hand sources, I went straight to the source, and I am getting the official statement from the man who was accused of making a statement to Alexis Laree, Bill Firehawk. Check out Mike Zevons trilogy of columns based on the subject, and I hope Mike will come to a future CSWF show with me, especially if it’s stacked with great talent as it was last time.

Joel Grayons indy women tournament is starting to gain momentum. Check his page out under the staff section for all the news and info.

Will the Masked Maniac ever learn that Arbys= Diarreah?

Something serious here. Lots of people, friends, acquaintances and haters have all told me that me joining SSCW, in a booker role, is a lose-lose situation. I mean I don’t have all the power, so if Carmine’s decisions suck, I will take the heat for it. If a show gets cancelled, I look bad. If Carmine rejects my ideas, I look bad. If the show is not 5 star, I look bad. Well I’m here to say that I will do my best to make this work, and we have a major show planned in August. Would I use all the guys we’re using if it was just me? No. But if I can make people who I don’t think fit, or belong in SSCW, work, then I know I have done my job well. I just want everyone to remember that I’m the CO-booker of SSCW, and Head of Talent Relations, not the big boss. Carmine is, and we have already fought over some things, and he appreciates that, because he doesn’t want a yes-man. I have lots of new talent coming into SSCW, and am working on guys from all over. In 6 months time, my goal is to make SSCW the indy fans dream, and a show a family can go to. You will see a bunch of names that you can’t see under one roof anywhere else. I’m proud to say that with new additions debuting on August 10th, such as Eddie Guapo, Devin Sturgis, Dirty Money, Slyk Wagner Brown, April Hunter, Grim Reefer, Playzma, Shawn Sheridan and more, I know we will give everyone a great show. I’ve worked hard on storylines for the next show, and SSCW will be for the fans by the fans, literally.

3PW bus trip is filling up fast. We only have 15 more seats available. Please contact me at BULLSMC@aol.com for all the info. Check the header of the DOI site for more.

While on bustrips, the DOI will also be doing a bustrip to JCW’s Annual J-Cup. Please contact Mike Zevon at declarationofindependents@hotmail.com for all the info, and check the header at the top of the main site.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EC “CAMELTOE” NEGRO!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARCHY BALLZ AKA THE WIZARD AKA ULTIMATE WARRIOR #1 HATER! (See I got it right)

TO the Wiz of Brain- It's Kurt Cobain, not Jesus. And I still own your ass 1-0 in All Star Baseball!

JC The Damager has way too many pictures of gore on his computer.

You know as a bald dude, I was watching this commercial for rogaine the other day on the TV. They say how fast your hair will grow back and blah blah blah. Then all of a sudden I see the side-effects. After 10 or so diseases and viruses you can get, it says “chronic diarreah.” What the fuck? How does putting some seeds on your hair, wind up leading to blowing dirt out your ass? I can see it now:
Bob uses the rogaine. He’s as bald as Dr. Evil. All of a sudden his hair grows back, and he’s got so much hair, that he has to keep cutting it and selling it to wig manufactures. So he’s so happy that he’s got hair, so he walks around and shows it off. He goes to a club to pick up some chicks. Bob: (To a fine looking woman) Hey baby, nice shoes, wanna fuck?
Woman (Not paying attention to his comment): What’s that dripping down your leg?

So all in all folks, if you plan on using Rogaine, get some Depends too, or else you will be in for a slushy ride. Maybe Rogaine puts laxatives or something in it’s formula, because Rogaine and Depends are owned by the same company. Hmmmmm? Someone contact the Better Business Bureau.

I’ll be appearing at the Governors’ Club Thursday Night from 8-9. Thank you.

Sad news. Brian Myers has officially left the DOI in a writers role capacity. He is pursuing his dream to become a pro wrestler, and doesn’t want to conflict the DOI with his wrestling. I would like to tell him to stay, but that would be jealous of me, and I know he’s got talent to really go somewhere in wrestling. His links and staff page will stay up, because he is and will still be an integral piece to the DOI. I wish the best for him as a wrestler, and just remember I get first interview when you start taking names!

I urge everyone to get really drunk and read Fat Bastard’s newest commentary on the USA Pro site. It might be the only way you can fathom it.

Gotta give props to Slingblade Carl, who didn’t get his ass whipped by the bottom ring rope this past weekend. Thanks for the well written review.

Also gotta shout out Adam Dolan who gave us 2 fantastic reviews of ECPW and ACW.

Dexter Weiner has potential to be the new MiC, drinking wise. I will groom him into a pro alcoholic, if he enrolls in my intense tutoring program of constant beer consumption. For only $599 a month, how can you go wrong?

That was a joke, some people don’t get them! So fuck you!

How long before I get the Eddie Ellner treatment? LoL

Gotta plug www.jasminstclaire.com There will be some announcements in her diary section soon.

On (butt) plugs, gotta shout out The Blackhearts, at 1 718 707 1122. Zombie is helping me with the 3PW bus trip, so come with us to 3PW and experience the best of both worlds!

Kane burning JR? Why not just rape a dead person? Oh wait they did that already.

Anyone looking for a Gamecube with a couple of games? I need to pay my car insurance, so I need to sell this shit. Shoot me an email.

Well keep on drinking and see you DOI-ites at ICW/ROH/USA PRO this weekend!

Until next time, This Is The MiC-
Sean “The MiC” McCaffrey
bullsmc@aol.com