Somehow, I've managed time to present a McRoss Report for the third straight week in a row. Call it a miracle, call it having no life, or chalk it up to working the graveyard shift at a security post, but away we go with the most infamous column on the indy scene today!

As many know, UXW presented another one of their extravaganzas this past Saturday. Being one of Frank's "idea men"/creative team staff member, I was looking forward to seeing how several angles/matches played out. However, instead of enjoying some of my ideas coming to life, I was heavily disappointed by the undercard/pre-show matches. It seems that no one on the pre-show (and of course there are exceptions) understands what a complete pro wrestling show is supposed to look like. So for the ticket sellers out there, who cry to Frank Goodman when I bash your shitty little matches, read this, and maybe you will learn something, because for once, I'm going to put my word/thought process above yours. For everyone else, I think this is a lesson that some indy promoters could learn, as it sometimes a common problem at other independent wrestling events.

A wrestling show is like nothing else in the world. It can't be compared to a book or a movie, because in a book or a movie, there is an ending. There should never be an ending at a wrestling show, (Unless it's WrestleMania, where everything culminates) but there should be a new beginning. The ending of every wrestling show you see, should leave you craving the next event. A wrestling show is supposed to have a strong start, and by the time the main event is on, the show should climax. There is no reason for a show to climax midway, because if it does, that means interest is lost in the main event. Every match on a show should build to the main event and want you fiending for that match. If the best match is in the fourth spot, rather than at the end spot, then there are problems in your main event scene.

Knowing this, wrestlers not in the main event should be respectful of the main event wrestlers. Everything that is done in the main event shouldn't be seen in any other match. Of course, that sometimes may be impossible, but there should be an effort to differentiate every other match from the main event. If Main Event Wrestler X's finisher is a DDT, no one else should be doing a DDT on the show, and if someone does do a DDT, that better be the finish of the match, or the pinfall should be broken up by some sort of interference. If DDT's are peppered throughout the show, and people are kicking out of DDT's then when the DDT is executed in the main event, the move is no longer believable. Makes sense, right? Unfortunately not to these ticket selling vermin that infects some of these UXW events.

As I was watching the UXW pre-show, I saw two matches that flat out killed the rest of the show. Brandon Resto vs Little Greatness and JDK vs Mythrill vs HSK were just pure abortions, and showed me that none of the participants understand pro wrestling at all. The biggest problem with UXW employing ticket sellers under the "Pay-to-Play" philosophy, is that anyone can be a pro wrestler. If you can sell 10 tickets, or if you give Frank Goodman $200 bucks, you can be a pro wrestler. There is really no line between fan or wrestler in UXW. One show a fan can be sitting on one side of the guard rail, and the next month and either 10 tickets or $200 bucks later, they can be actually participating on the show. Imagine if that applied to every sport? Drop flyballs in Yankee Stadium and cost the Yankees a playoff game. Drop a touchdown pass from Tom Brady and cost the Patriots a Superbowl. Be the goalie for the Detroit Redwings and blow the Western Conference Championships. Play for the San Antonio Spurs and have the ball stolen away from you. While these are extreme examples, this is exactly what's going on in UXW. These ticket sellers are dropping the ball in UXW and are hurting the main event and REAL wrestlers that are on the shows.

For starters, the five wrestlers that I named above simply did not look like pro wrestlers. That is common in indy wrestling, so you really can't have a hard-on for that fact. Alot of accomplished indy wrestlers simply don't look like pro wrestlers. However, their matches are enjoyable and it's easy to overlook that fact if you're not a WWE scout. However, most of those indy wrestlers have wrestling gear. These five all looked like they were ready to play street ball and not grapple in a wrestling ring. The JDK/Mythrill/HSK match featured three guys in basketball shorts and a tank top, with the exception of HSK who looked like he was wrestling in gay Power Rangers pajamas. All he was missing was the foot booties. When these ticket sellers are exposed to the crowd, the believabilty and art of pro wrestling can not be translated to the crowd. When more than half the crowd can put on a better match and beat the shit out of the wrestlers in the ring, it makes the wrestlers look weak and makes wrestling look fake.

I don't know how ticket selling got started but I'm sure you didn't see losers like HSK or Mythrill in Portland when Don Owens was promoting. You didn't see 5'4" "Ticket Selling Allstars" like Little Greatness or Bulldozer working for Eddie Graham in Florida. I also don't think Frank Goodman was the first to book wrestlers under the ticket selling mantra, but I also think he's the most famous promoter for using these guys. For UXW, it is a necessary evil, as these ticket sellers allow Frank Goodman to bring in the big name talent, without crushing Frank's wallet.

So despite not looking like wrestlers or even being a tad intimidating, I can forgive these ticket selling disgraces. They are doing what they love. When people ask me, "Why don't you wrestle?", it a simple question to answer. If you can't be serious and dedicate yourself, there is no reason to do it. I'd rather drink beer, party and do the DOI than be a pro wrestler. The money in indy wrestling isn't great, and due to my genetics, being only 6'0, I have a better chance of being the best indy wrestling reporter, than being the best indy wrestler. With the lack of money in indy wrestling, I have a better chance of making more money running the DOI than I would at being an indy wrestler. Not to get off subject, but being a dedicated indy wrestler takes alot of dedication, hard work and frustration. How else do you explain people killing themselves, earning 20 bucks a night and driving 200 miles away to do it? It also doesn't help that I have a bad back from an old lacrosse injury. (And please, no emails asking me what lacrosse is.)

Anyway, back to my original point. As I was watching these two crapfests, I was really upset, as someone who wants to see UXW do good. These ticket sellers simply don't understand pro wrestling. In the first two matches alone, I counted 11 finishing moves. One match was full of high spots. I hate to sound like an internet smart mark nose-in-the-air jerk, but I have to say it- there was no selling in any of the matches.

I never use terms like "selling", "rest holds" or other terms that are better off used for the wrestlers in the business, when writing, but I have to make the exception here, because I truly feel that I understand the business better than these ticket sellers. When you get superplexed to the floor, then got frogsplashed, only to be on your feet 10 seconds later, that's called NOT SELLING and called making everyone else on the show look like an asshole. For instance, two wrestlers, Danny Demanto and Monsta Mack, both use the frogsplash, as their finishers. Demanto used the frogsplash in his match against Helter Skelter, to prove he was a dominant wrestler to build up some momentum in his next match against Vader. Monsta Mack used the frogsplash against K-Murda to help his team win the UXW tag team titles. When Brandon Resto hits a superplex to the floor, then a frogsplash on Little Greatness, only for Little Greatness to be standing up 10 seconds later like nothing is wrong, it not only makes Monsta Mack and Danny Demanto look like dicks, it makes their opponents, Helter Skelter and K-Murda look weak. If those two guys are out, feeling the effects of those moves for minutes after the match, is Little Greatness fucking Superman? He took the same move and was jumping around like a mexican bean 10 seconds later. It really hurts the flow and credibility of the show.

In the other ticket selling fiasco bullshit match, the three way between three guys who are probably better suited to be shoveling dung, there were a bunch of finishing moves and dives off the top rope. This was only the second match of the show. In a three way match, you get a little leeway. If you are hitting finishers, only for the third man to be breaking up the pinfall, that is somewhat understandable. Unfortunately, that's not what happened here. We just saw finisher after finisher with guys kicking out. There was no selling. While every REAL wrestler on the show showed pain and damage after being victims of wrestling holds and moves, these three jerkoffs were jumping around all over the place. Do these idiots study the sport which they claim to love? Do they ask for advice? Do they watch tapes? Alot of people want to piss on the smart fans, but the smart fans are the ones who thirst for wrestling knowledge. You'd think the ticket sellers would want to do the same, and at least try to learn the craft they so desperately want to be part of.

In fairness, were the matches exciting? Maybe to the normal fan. But after seeing those two matches, how was any other match on the show supposed to top it? Are wrestling moves and holds "kryptonite" to every other wrestler, since they showed wear and damage after receiving them? These 5 guys were immune to holds and moves as they were flying all over the place.

People might be surprised to see me put over Eddie Guapo in this column, but look at his tag team match with Kamala against the CSC. There were no dives off the top rope. There were no weapon shots. There was not even one fancy mat wrestling move in the match, like a Canadian Destroyer. Hell, for the first five minutes, there wasn't even any contact betwen the two teams. What these two teams did was tell a story in the ring, and that is becoming a lost art in the indies. Guys like Homicide, Teddy Hart, Steve Corino, Trent Acid and others know this art, and that is why they are on top. That is why they are capable of running with a feud, because if you can't tell a story in your match, you can't be responsible enough to be part of a feud. This tag team match told a story, without any "high spots" and the crowd was on their feet the whole time. They questioned what was going to happen next. This match was able to reverse some of the bullshit that those two matches I mentioned in the previous paragraph did to the event.

Obviously, you can't put these ticket selling idiots as the main event of a show, and let them burn the crowd out with a million finishers. What can be done is someone trying to educate these guys. Of course it's understandable they want to show off what they got and what they are made of. However, by doing a million and one moves, you burn the crowd out and shit on the peers that you want to impress. By telling a story in a quick 5 minute match, you will earn the respect of a promoter, the critics, and most importantly your peers. As you make everyone else on the show look good, by doing your part in the opening matches, your time and push will come. Not everyone starts on top, but you can get to the top by doing things right. By doing a million finishers in the first match, every REAL wrestler will want you off the show, rather than wanting to work with you and help you get to a new level. However, you tell a story and show that you understand what's going on, your peers will want to give you a hand.

I know the HSK was mad about my comments about his terrible match in my review, but at least now he knows why I made them. When he sells his tickets to the next show, maybe we'll see if he learned anything. However, most of the ticket sellers have the attitude that they deserve more, and if that's the case, they'll be paying Frank Goodman's mortage forever.

ASK THE MIC

This was a light week, as I only got 6 questions. To submit questions, email BULLSMC@aol.com.

1. Who do you think are some of the best minds in indy wrestling?

This question could be answered in many different fashions. For the sake of shaking shit up and to start some debate, I'll break it down a bit, in multiples of 5, in no particular order. I know I'll miss some names by doing this, so I should say that the names I'll mention are among some of the best.

Best Minds For Booking
1- Simon Diamond
2- Kevin Kelly
3- Doug Gentry
4- Ray Sager
5- Jim Kettner

Best Minds For Promoting/Drawing
1- Frank Goodman
2- Joe Panzarino
3- Fat Frank
4- Jim Kettner
5- Rob Feinstein

Best Wrestler Minds (Guys who get it)
1- Simon Diamond
2- Steve Corino (but not when it comes to promoting)
3- Homicide
4- The Backseat Boyz
5- Sandman

Honorable mention for Legal Savviness- Gino Moore

Of course I'm missing alot of names, but these are the names that popped into my head first when writing this up.

2. What are your thoughts on the PW Elite comeback?

I hope they do well, but I really question how profitable they can be running in Boonton, NJ. That is the number one concern. If they can get a building in a better location, they might have a good thing going for them. I'd also look into bringing in new talent, as you can see all their guys on JAPW and in PWU. With Doug Gentry booking, I'm sure they'll have a great show, but is it worth having a great show if you're losing money? It also looks like they might get into the habit of booking "ROH Castoffs", which is similiar to TNA jumping on any WWE guy that gets released. The real question in all of this is what did Mike Morgan of the AWA do, to piss off Pete Ferriero? After all, Pete seemed ready to invest in AWA and take AWA to different places, but instead, is bringing back Elite. AWA might've missed the gravy train with Pete, but that can be the indy fans gain. Let's hope they do well, as the indy scene can use some steady promotions that aren't one-show and out.

3. What are your thoughts on guys who do other people's gimmicks or look like WWE wrestlers like The Smoke does with The Rock, Brian Austin did with Steve Austin etc?

The WWE has the cream of the crop. They don't need cheap imitations. Two wrestlers come to mind as I answer this question. You have Johnny Thunder, who looks like Shawn Michaels, which is something he can't control. What he can control is what tattoos he gets, and by having Shawn Michaels tattoos, I can't see why the WWE would want a Shawn Michaels impersonator, when they have the real thing stealing Monday Night Raw every week. The other wrestler that comes to mind is Ricky Landell, who is a bite of Ric Flair. Flair is another guy stealing shows every time out. The indies is a place to try new things out and find yourself. If indy wrestlers want to take themselves to the next level, they have to be themselves, because impersonating people (unless you're Matt Striker) will probably leave you stuck at the indy level forever.

4. What is your take on the Jimmy Jacobs trashing the IWA Mid-South Heavyweight Title situation?

I don't know Jimmy Jacobs personally, so I don't know what was going through his mind when he did that. I've been told that this act was a truly a shoot, so I don't understand why IWA would take him back. It seems like Jacobs has been screwed by IWA as he keeps getting his dates cancelled by IWA. In his promo, he said he couldn't pay his rent. Well, if you're trying to make a living off of indy wrestling, you better have a back-up plan, because that is an almost near-impossible goal. IWA was loyal to Jimmy and helped make him the name he is. However, money talks and as wrestling history has showed us, no one can be loyal to a promoter and no promoter can be loyal to one wrestler. I don't think the money Jimmy got was worth killing his reputation for and I don't think trashing this title means as much as Madusa or Shane trashing the WWF womens and NWA World Heavyweight title, respectively. It gets his name in the headlines for a while, but let's be honest. He's trashing a promotions title that only 50 fans come out to see him defend live. Unless this is a work, or turned into a work, I think it was a rushed decision by Jacobs, which he may soon regret in the future. Ian is not a jerkoff promoter, so it's not like he's dumping some meaningless money mark title. Other promoters may get skeptical about giving Jimmy a title now in their promotion after hearing about this as well.

5. What new shoot interviews are the DOI conducting?

We just wrapped up the Frank Goodman/Masked Maniac shoot. Stay tuned to the site for more details.

6. Will Jac Sabboth ever run again?

Never say never in the wrestling business. I don't think we've seen last of the man who made black t-shirts famous.

That does it for this week. Sorry for coming off a bit "smarky" or looking like an "elitist", but some of these ticket selling morons really need to start understanding wrestling and realizing that they are hurting wrestling more than they ever thought.

Sean "The MiC" McCaffrey
BULLSMC@aol.com