(Talking) Hugggggggggggh...Hulk Hogan, Hollywook Hulkster...Whatever they call you , I'm coming after you coward...
(Rapping) Diggity Damn, Hulkamania you set it off!
Used to be hard Hulk, you done turned soft!
Doing telephone commercials I seen ya!
dancing in tights as a ballerina!
I knew all along you had those tendencies!
Because you've been running from Macho like I got a disease!
DUDE please, your pay-per-view event was a joke!
You're avoiding Randy Savage cause you know you'll get smoked!
Come on, that phony fight, The Rock's way too fast!
But when I challenged Hogan to a real fight he passed!
I called him out but the punk was scared to go!
It was a charity even but the Hulk didn't show!
Hollywood Hulkster you're at the end of your rope!
And I'm gonna kick you in the butt and wash your mouth out with soap!
Cause- like Rodney Dangerfield he gets no respect!
So come on Hulk let's wreck so I can put you in check!
BE A MAN HULK!
Come on don't be scurrrrrrd!
You're running from Macho that's what I hurrrrrd.!
BE A MAN HOGAN!
Come on don't be a chump!

Macho Man’s first debut song. To listen to the full thing go here:
www.lethalwrestling.com/upload/beaman.rm

And welcome to the McRoss Report!

Welcome to another McRoss report with yours truly. I don’t have that much time ,but I want to bitchslap one of these bad boys out, so make sure you download that Macho Man song.
Shit I’m bouncing right here… I almost spilt my beer while dancing to this song like Mean Gene Okerlund to Tutti Frutti.

Greetings from the man underneath the 5 Gallon Heineken bottle.

Be A Man Hulk…. Shit I’m still cracking up. When this CD comes out, I will be blasting it 24/7.

Everyone’s talking about Zach Gowen and the J-Cup. Pretty much, people blew it out of proportion in my opinion. I posted something about it on the DOI Message Board, but basically, the guy wanted to support his friends and watch a show, after being told he would be flown to Summerslam to wrestle Matt Hardy, then being told we are going to run a stupid angle where a guy 3 times bigger than you will injure you for no reason at all, and not be apart of Summerslam at all. Well Zach decided instead of paying to go to Phoenix, he would just go to the J-Cup and watch a show that was better than Summerslam. Sue him. What the fuck do I care anyway lol.

EC Negro is white trash.

I finally got to meet the co-host of Trash Talking, Luscious Lily. Very smart mind for wrestling and a delight to be hanging around with. Expect the DOI Interview up soon.

Doc Daniels is contemplating suicide after being told Luscious Lily will not date him for 563 consecutive days.

Shawn Sheridan has a message board I hear. It is the weirdest one out there, as if you don’t know his people then you’re lost. Still check it out for the wrestling shizznit
http://triplesh.proboards22.com/

Mike Zevon wears DRS Pajamas. Expect these new pajamas to bring in major money to the DOI, especially if Mike keeps wearing them out so fast lol

Frank Goodman, since it seems he can’t go 10 days without mentioning me in some way in his hotline, let me say these few things:
-The USA Pro Bus Trip will be a roaring success
-Needs more things to talk about on his hotline.
- SSCW will get better with time.
- Stop eating at Arby’s. It’s bad for the colon.

Jimmy James update: He only imed me 45 times this past week. At least we’re out of triple digits.

Ever notice that bottled beer usually tastes better out of cans, but the Heineken keg can is better than Heineken bottles? If anyone wants to pay for this research, please email me.

3PW has a major show coming up in NJ. It will be one of their bigger ones, and I guarantee it will be one you don’t want to miss out on. Check out the deal at www.3pwrestling.com

Don’t forget to gamble with Jasmin St Claire at www.jasminstclairecasino.com
Just make sure to bet on the Yankees if you want to win!

. Macho man rules!

Are the DOI journalists?
This a question that I get some times. My answer: Sure, why not? I mean we are all just fans, but I think it’s a fucking cop-out to say something, then when get questioned on it, and just reply “It’s my opinion, I’m just a fan.” Once you make your opinion public and flaunt about it, then you’re open to get some feedback either way, and that should be expected. Anyone who writes something online, in a newspaper or any other forum is publically letting others know their opinions. People came up to me if they have a problem with my stuff, or if they like my stuff, and I don't brush them aside because they don't agree with everything I say. If someone takes the time out of their life to read what you're saying, then they are entitled to say if they agree or disagree with you. Well maybe after writing that, I think I have to agree I have to stop writing these things drunk, cause I'm rambling so much. lol.
While “Journalist” may not be the best word, columnist certainly foots the bill. So call me a journalist, a reporter, a columnist or a drunken mark, I don’t give a shit either way, I’m a fan that writes about wrestling and has a fun time doing so.

I hate wasting my time with this crap, but since this mook won't stop running his mouth, this must be said. The Motivator will kick a shrieking faggot’s ass soon. And it might not be in a USA Pro Ring. Hint: This is the same guy who told another Doi-ite to gang up with him on Eric Walker. Yea, this is also from the person who instigates then says he will call the cops if stuff gets physical, so be careful Moto. What’s up with this Let’s gang up on Eric Walker shit? What are you a fucking homo? Go gang rape yourself you sick freak. Sorry for mentioning your name Eric Walker, I think you do a good job over there, and here is the link to see his NJ/PA wrestling reports: www.pwbts.com

And I don’t know too many toothpicks with a background in the Marines.

Devin Sturgis made a good point to me the other day, there is heat everywhere. Between wrestlers, promoters, and even “journalists”. But the funny thing is heat between “ring rats”. Now that is what I want to see at shows, rat-fights. Meow lol.

USA PRO is running this Friday In the Elks Lodge. Aside from alcohol poisoning, you will see
Louie vs Balls
Raven vs D-Lo
Al Snow vs Sandman
And much muchmore. Go to www.usaprowrestling.com for all the details. It will be a hot show, and the DOI will be there selling newsletters, shirts, and kisses from Mike Zevon for only 25 cents!

EXCLUSIVE FEATURE TO THE MCROSS REPORT!!!!!
FROM DOI CEO MICHAEL BARRY (HAHAHA I SAW YOUR MIDDLE NAME IN THE INVITATION) ZEVON

Mike Zevon here, just making sure The MiC don’t write anymore things that people will complain to me about lol. I just realized, I needed to make a quick update - The Motivators apartment is cleaner but STILL a pig sty!

Thank you DOI Readers.
Michael Zevon
Now back to the McRoss Report!
Take it away you drunk!

Note to self, check the ratings on the Mike Zevon feature…

Congrats to Johnny Bravado for making his WXW debut. Things look on the up and up for this man from the orient, as he has had 2 great debuts in SSCW and WXW in the same month.

Some big interviews coming up soon. I can guarantee Johnny Thunder, Doink The Clown, and The Elm Street Kids, if those two ever leave the movie theatre, with Freddy vs Jason out.

Fat Frank and Ray Sager are two funny motherfuckers. If it aint in the front, then it’s in he back!

The PWI 500 was released. Worst listing ever. I know how much works goes into ranking a list, but seriously it’s like a who’s who of ECWA and ROH above anything else. Also Jonah above Homicide? CM Punk? Slyk Wagner Brown? N-word please! And by their criteria, there is no way Jonah should’ve been that higher. Same with Gillberg. That’s fuckin laughable. I can understand Brock/HHH over Angle, and ranked at 1 and 2 respectively, with their guidelines, but the indies got raped. No Reefer, Deranged, Azraiel? What in the name of corn shit? I usually like the PWI 500, but I think it’s gotten worse as time has gone by. Maybe it’s more competition with better wrestlers around, but seriously Albert at 49?

UPDATE: The DRS, along with The Solution both enjoy candy canes.

Will some indy fed please stand up and compete with the WWE? I am a huge WWE fan but after Summerslam/Raw, I am starting to actually realize that I do not care about the WWE at all. I can not watch it, and not mind. It’s sad, as that’s what got me into wrestling, but I’d rather go to a JAP show or any indy show for that matter, except for JWA lol, over a WWE show. Shit, Smackdown tickets are 15 bucks, and only 10 minutes away from me, and I have no interest in going.

Wow too much WWE talk in this column. Won’t happen again.

RUMORMILL: Beware Tyler H’s Sledgehammer….

Does anyone tape TNA regularly? I’m McBroke and wouldn’t mind trading tapes to see it.

Make sure to download that Mike Tobin... er Macho Man song. Shit Mike Tobin does Macho Man better than Macho does Macho lol.

Big word up to Johnny Ova and Slyk Wagner Brown for one of the best matches I've seen this year.

Dan Barry still likes fat booty.

J-Silva is the new DOI Food Critic.

Joel Grayon is getting hammered in Las Vegas, and he might be hammering some starlet too!

Brian Myers is the man. Just get me that BTN!

Well I’m off. Sorry for the short report, but work fucking sucks and is a drainer. I’ll be back soon, so until next time, drink a Heineken.

The MiC
bullsmc@aol.com