Thank you Billy Walsh for that lyric and what up you DOI-ites, and welcome to another McRoss Report. I haven’t whipped one of these suckas out in a while, so I got a lot of McShit to flush down in this report, so grab a beer, grab an ass, and fill your face up with chips, because this is gonna be a doozy.

Greetings from the man underneath the 5 Gallon Heineken bottle!

Since I haven’t done it in a while, let’s get some buttplugs out of the way:
Mr. Goodman or Masked Maniac, depends on who’s winning the schizophrenia battle, has his USA Pro Hotline over at 15162148333. Check it out, aside from the diarreah and traffic reports, he talks about a lot of indy and WWE wrestling.

Matt Zombie is still throwin shit down with Tim Arson and Brian Damager over at 17187071122. Give him a ring, and hear about all the news that you can use.

Anthony Da Funker, another member of the Blackhearts has his Extreme hotline, where they hit people over the head with chairs and shit. Check him out at 17173034444.

BUSTRIPS
3PW, bus trip, August 16th. Here is the (Josh) Deele-yo:
3PW Heavyweight Championship
The newly crowned champion from the Double Cross Ranch, Terry Funk will make his first defense from the challenge of Justin Credible... Justin Credible is no stranger to gold as he is a former ECW world heavyweight champion and ECW world tag team champion. The cagey veteran in Terry Funk is also a former ECW world champion knows the task at hand and looks at keeping the 3PW from the street smart Credible.

Mikey Whipwreck will make his 3PW debut.
Mikey Whipwreck is one of Philadelphia's favorites as he came up through the ranks of ECW as the ultimate underdog. He went achieve various success in his career and 3PW is looking forward to welcoming Mikey aboard...but it won't be an easy welcome as he will be welcomed back to Philly by Kid Kash...

George Frankenstein (formerly Gorgeous George) will make her return to 3PW...

Other matches already scheduled:
· Mike Kruel vs. Joey Matthews
· Roadkill vs. Rob Eckos
· Women's Match Tai Vs. Bunny
And there will be another edition of "The Sugar Shack" with Jasmin St. Claire and her sugar daddy Tod Gordon!!

Also scheduled to appear: "The Pitbull" Gary Wolf, The Blue Meanie, "Hot Stuff" Striker, Rockin' Rebel, Ricky Vega, CJ O'Doyle, Josh Daniels and more!!

NEW YORK BUS TRIP TO 3PW:
The Declaration of Independents in conjunction with the Blackhearts Sports Entertainment Hotline and 3PW present the first ever DOI Bus Trip, for ONLY $35! For all the information email me at BULLSMC@aol.com or go check out the header of the main page.

So I hope you guys make it out, it will be a blast. There are only 2 weeks to go, and I only got a few seats left, so I hope you guys come on down, have a few beers and have fun with the DOI.

JAP BusTrip is this Saturday, August 2nd. For all the information, check out the main page, and by all means come on down to the DOI chatroom this Wednesday night, at 10 PM, for the DOI chat w/Fat Frank. JAP is doing big things and turning more heads than a naked chick in front of a construction site, so be there, or don’t, it’s up to you.

Last plug, JCW Bustrip, August 24th. It’s the J-Cup, it’s gonna kick more ass than Mike Tyson in a fender bender, so check out the main page, and on the top you’ll see the details.

Alright sorry to bore you with all the plugs, but by supporting these bustrips and hotlines, you are supporting the DOI, so thanks. Now let’s get to the crazy drunkness of the McRoss Report.

Big story this week, as ICW has officially closed doors. Will it be the end all for ICW? Who knows? I think this fucking sucks, as there aren’t enough indy promotions around my home base, here in the NY area. We got USA Pro and NYWC, and aside from a few others, and a few backyard feds, who think they are indy feds (even though they have no licenses, trained wrestlers, insurance, talent, ring, etc) there aint shit going on in NY. ICW was one of the “big 3” here in NY, even though it was more USA Pro Light for a bit. Let the fake message board posting begin, I’m sure it’s happening as I type these words. Bottom line is this, I thought, and still think, Jac is a cool guy, and for all the shit he gets, I was hoping he would prove everyone wrong and start lighting things up. The I-Cup seemed like a great idea, even if Mikey Z was talking about it for a bit lol, and it sucks that it won’t come to fruitation. ICW used some talents that USA Pro didn’t, such as Eddie Guapo, Backseat Boys, Jerry Lynn and others, and with USA Pro already having 7787 to the 4th power people on their roster, I don’t see these guys working in NY for a while, until NYWC starts gaining prominence. As far as Slash and the other bookers in ICW, we’ll see if they do anything, cause I’m sure this isn’t the last we’ve heard about them. Good luck Jac, and maybe you can focus and find the missing Randy/Adolf/Darkfire “friend” of yours lol.

There’s a certain tag team wrestler who has a Hershey kiss on the back of his neck. I haven’t had it confirmed if it’s one of those almond ones, but I’m sure we’ll find out one day.

Grim Reefer is the funniest guy in wrestling. I wish he would get a chance to display his outside of the ring personality in the ring, cause he will make you laugh more than bumfights!

The Solution are still avid fans of the Andersons and The British Bulldogs. It’s also been reported that they still love candy canes.

Ricky O still can’t spell, but his journals are very well written. Check out jcwwrestling.com for the link, as I’m not on my home computer and too lazy to go get the exact link.

Speaking of Ricky O, he dabbles about web/sheet feuds. I guess Ricky O can preach about squashing silly feuds, because Ricky O has done just that, and has gained more respect in my eyes, and from a lot of other people as well.

While on JCW, let’s congratulate Bob Cassidy once again, whose wife just gave birth a week and a half ago twins.

This just in. The Cassidy brothers are penciled in for a tag title run in JCW, in 18 years!

While on Jersey wrestling, JAP, the king of NJ, in my opinion, return harder than a wet fart, with Counterstrike. www.japw.net is the place to go for all the info, or check out the main page on the DOI site. I am telling you, this show is going to be fantastic.

Look for the MiC runs down the top 15 promotions, and why, in a future McPinion.

My friend and DOI member, Joel “Wizard” is ripping more ass than a taco bell dinner, with his Fantasy Women’s Tournament. I said it once, and I’ll say it again, Joel is the best pure writer on the DOI, and his Women’s tournaments are just more solid work from Mr. Kayfabe himself!

Will The Motivator, ever be motivated enough to clean up his closet er.. apt? According to several sources, the answer is a resounding NO.

Jason “Don’t call me Bill” Goldberg has officially joined the DOI. In the short time he’s been here, he’s done more than expected and is helping out “Big Time” literally, and figuratively, so keep it here on the DOI site for big news in upcoming weeks.

Shit, I’ll give one thing out, the DOI is now a legit business. The release will be up as soon as Mikey types it up! LoL

KURT ANGLE IS GOD!

Frank Goodman needs to have his own reality traffic TV show.

Checked out ECWA this past weekend again, and I gotta say, I still agree that it’s the #1 premier indy fed, and respect what it’s done, but the way ROH is moving right now… things might be different, in time. Let’s not forget 3PW either, which has major things on the horizon, and once it’s official, it’ll be right here on the DOI site.

SSCW. Lot’s of people have been asking me if this is a do or die show. Lots of people have been saying I was stupid to get involved with it as it’s a lose-lose situation. All I gotta say is check it out Aug 10th, and give it a chance. No bullshit, about how we’re doing PPV, or it’s gonna be the best show of the year, but straight up, it will be a night of solid wrestling and storylines. Coupled in the fact that Low Life Louie makes his return to NJ, it will be a fun time.

“KANE” comes to DOI TV in one week. Check it out. It was a scary, brutal and nervewracking experience, but in this 15 minute interview, a lot comes out, such as Kane enjoys Heineken, and how he used to drink when he had the mask.

Speaking of DOI TV, Low Life Louie just sat down with us, so check that out when it’s up.

Gotta thank everyone for checking out the DOI, because we appreciate all the support, and there are always things up our sleeves. (Probably weed!)

I got a lot of interviews that the DOI is working on, so keep it here for some fresh snazzy shit.

There’s a rumor that the bottom ring rope has contracted an STD from a ring rat. Whether this is true or not, I don’t know, but I’m sure Slingblade Carl won’t be sending the bottom ring rope any flowers!

Fat Bastard! You fat bastard! When will we see another Uncensored? That is my favorite column today. Go suck a Dexter Weiner!

Speaking of Dexter Weiner, lots of controversy about him and Triple A, working on July 20th’s USA Fanfest. Question? Who gives a shit? I personally thought that the masked wrestlers looked like them, but I am not 100%, and have no proof, so to all, or should I say, one troublemaker out there, chill out.

Speaking of troublemakers, Jimmy James is still at shows with his barbed wire mini bat. I got a joke for that, but I know some idiots will twist it around!

Eddie Ellner rules!

Brian Myers is the master of the cross face chicken wing, and look for him to do some major work on the indy circuit in the future.

JC The Damager is moving to Florida this weekend. From me, the DOI, good luck JC, and it’s gonna suck not having you at shows, because you always crack me up. Thank god for the DOI Message board, where you can talk about goring women all day! Word to the wise: Icehouse beer sucks, no matter how cheap it is in Florida.

Speaking of Beer, top 5 beer countdown:

5. Miller High Life- I may get slack for this one, as it’s the only American beer on this list, and the fact that it’s cheap, but you can never go wrong with the high life. It’s a nice smooth refreshing beer, and lives up to it’s nickname of the champagne of beers. Definitely have a 24 pack today, as you know what they say, a case a day, keeps the good liver away!
4. Fosters- I’m a big fan of the oil can, and it’s intoxicating aroma. The hops and barley are blended in a masterful mix to produce one of the best beers in the planet. Fosters Australian for beer, and Irish for some good shit.
3. Red Stripe- Jamaica mon. This beer is nice and smooth. You can literally have 24 (a case) and not get drunk. It’s a great tasting beer, and is great for the children. So the next time you get solicited by a 16 year old acne face looking for beer, instead of buying him 24 Budweisers, with the smelly sweaty 10 dollar bill he gives you, get him a 6 pack Red Stripe, and buy yourself one too, because you deserve it.
2. Heineken- This smooth blend, tastes bitter to some, but for the experienced beer drinker, it’s liquid ecstacy. While expensive, it’s worth it, so stop being cheap, drop that Natty Lite, and enjoy the fresh crisp taste of Heineken.
1. Guiness- The real king of beers. I can have this with breakfast in, or with my cereal, 4 for lunch, and a couple more for dinner. It’s smooth and refreshing, and the pride of Ireland brewing. So drink a Guiness today.

Shit… anyone know any beer sponsors looking to advertise with the DOI? I offer.. no, volunteer, my services to such a noble cause.

Arbys = Whitecastle.
Whitecaste= Taco Bell.
Taco Bell= Explosive Diarreah.
Therefore, Arbys= Explosive Diarreah. Get the hint!

Mike Zevon joke for the column: Mike has been punching ass here for the DOI since day one. He’d be kicking ass, but he can’t get his tiny foot up that high!

Seriously though, Mike has been making some major deals, and that’s not including making the DOI the UNOFFICIAL SITE OF THE JCW J-CUP!
Come on that was good, and it’s true! Don’t forget the bus trip!

Issue 8 is on it’s way soon, with interviews/columns/rankings and more. Check out the preview by next week.

What the fuck is Da Trek Squad? Or the Dirty Rotten Sandnegros? All I gotta say, is that it would be very interesting, if these angles come to life. I mean, it would be like Grim Reefer turning into the Undertaker!

Well I’m rambling now, and want to go to the bar. I’m still going, cut on my head or not. Shit I got a Louie gash! (There was a bar fight this past Saturday, but don’t worry, the Drunken Irishmen cleaned up!) I’ll be back with more McPinions, McInterviews, and whatever else I can put Mc in front of, after a few Jamesons.

Until next time, this is The MiC
Sean “The MiC” McCaffrey
EMAIL bullsmc@aol.com