What up everyone, and welcome to the AAA McTv Review. Check out the CMLL one as well. Well lets' get onto it.

Show opens up with a promo with Charley Manson and The JUICE, Juventud Guerrera. Who knows what the fuck Juvi is saying, but I'm praying for what he said last week, "FINALLY THE JEWS HAVE RETURNED TO MEXICO!" I think he means Juice, but it always come out as Jews lol. Weird seeing Juvi teaming up with Charly Manson.

We go to the AAA opening and some highlight clips.

We cut to the announcers who address a live crowd. This is pointless for an American AAA recap show. They are talking about shit from 3 months ago, and you can see it's taped from the Summer lol.

For some reason, the announcers are outside and hanging and banging with street performers. No joke, they are hanging out with mimes, clowns and some bitches. Jesus, the announcer, not Christ, seriously can't get his eyes off this broads chest. She is dressed like a Mexican Britney Spears. Jesus can't wipe the smile off his old man grimey face. Jesus flashes the nWo Wolfpac sign to the girl. I do that shit all the time too. Head out to the bar, flips some dames the wolfpac sign, and next thing you know I wake up next to 5 girls the next day.
After this pointless and retarded segment, we go to more commercials. Damn, 10 minutes into the show and we haven't seen 1/2 naked men touch either yet. What the fuck? lol.

We come back, and we're still outside for this fucking parade. I just doublechecked, and I am watching Galavision, so wrestling should be on. I see the AAA announcers, so I guess wrestling will take place eventually. These motherfuckers speak too fast, so I can't even attempt to figure out what the fuck they are saying. 15 minutes into the show, and we've seen more announcers than wrestling. The announcers talk about a new AAA diva, who shows off her tattoos. She has a big rack too. More divas are shown, and that slob Jesus is wacking off, because he is now missing. The other announcer runs down future AAA shows, including one with La Parka vs Cibernetico as the main event.

Mother fucker, more time with announcer, as this time he is with AAA President, Antonio Pena. Pena is with Electroshock. Electroshock cuts an inaudible promo. Take the cock out of your mouth bigboy. The announcer tries to explain what Electroshock said. What's with all this dialouge? Once a week you can plug AAA, show your wrestling product, and maybe get a few people to buy tapes off of the wrestling they've seen. Instead of showing off the product, we are subjected to an old man announcer drooling over girls, the owner of the fed putting himself over, and inaudible promos. Oh, I guess AAA is learning from the WWE.

We leave Pena's house, and we see Guerrera/Manson and crew beat up Electroshock. How did Electroshock go from being in Penas house to being outside and getting his ass kicked? This is so fucking confusing and horrible. I'd rather watch a Gonnorreah documentary.

We come back, to watch 4 girls dance in the ring. It must be cold, as they all have nippleitis. They are dancing to that Mexican song that always used to play in Passiac, when JCW used to run there.
They are just dancing. This goes on for 5 minutes. I'm not complaining about all the chicks on this show, even though none of them wrestle, manage, talk, or even in wrestling, but seriously, with an hour time slot a week, you'd figure that AAA would show some wrestling. Holy floater in a toilet, we go to more commercials!

You think they'd advertise Taco Bell on Galavision, not Burger King. Seriously, who produced this shit? I mean who plans to have 10 segments of talking, commercials, come back for 5 minutes of girls dancing and take another commerical.
I'm sure all these ads they are showing are bringing in the loot too, since 1/2 of them are Galavision commericals for other shows and for FUTBOL. I mean, how many times can you hear GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL in a commerical?

We come back for more plugs of upcoming shows. Does me no good since I don't live in Mexico. Probably doesn't do anyone any good because nobody can go to any of the shows if they are watching them on Galavision.

Promo with Oscar Sevilla, who just finished watching his El Matador tapes. Actually, he is a pretty good wrestler, but a promo from a guy who looks like he just got raped isn't my cup of tea. He is very timid in his promo. He's like a mouse who's looking not to be caught by a cat. Or maybe a luchador not looking to be caught by the INS. (Ok that was low, but this show is weak! lol)

Call me a fucking mark all you want, even call me an asshole internet fan, but 34 minutes have passed, and now we're finally going to have our first (and last) match of the show.

Cage match
The last one in the cage will get his head shaved
Heavy Metal/Oscar Seville/El Novillero vs Brazo/Texano/Chicana

This is a 3 on 3 cage match. AAA usually uses a 6 sided ring, but for this, it's a regular ring.

I don't know what the rules are for this, if it's the first team to escape, or the first guy to make a pin, so I guess I'll figure it out when the match is over lol.

This match is your usual cage match, with lots of grunting, kicks and punches. There is also a kendo stick floating around. Chicana goes to escape the cage, and Oscar Seville throws him down from the top of the cage. I haven't seen Heavy Metal in a while, and he changed his look a bit. A bullrope and a metal object enters the ring, through the RUDOS manager. I'm not 100%, but I think this is a LLL vs AAA match.
LLL is the nWo of the AAA, and they are invading and taking over AAA. That is the main storyline right now in AAA, just like how WCW had the nWo one. By the way this show is going, they will probably have the same fate as WCW.

Heavy Metal escapes and now goes to chase the LLL RUDOS manager/ref. Seville is busted up pretty badly. He looks like he took a candy cane from Lennox Lewis. With only 2 guys in the ring, Chicano escapes. In the ring is Brazo/Texano for LLL and Seville/Novillero for the TECHNICOS. The LLL goes to cheat and pull the AAA wrestlers down, but the AAA ref makes the save. Seville is brutally beaten up. Novillero wakes up and hits some RVDesque offense on Brazo. Novillero gets out of the ring. We're down to 3 guys. Seville goes to escape but he is taken down by Texano.

The RUDOS double team takes place. Tito aka Seville is getting beat down like a southern housewife. Texano goes to leave the ring, but he is too fucking fat to get on the cage. Brazo is like what up fat man, chill bro. Texano takes offense to the fat comment and bites his partner, Brazo's ass. He must've gotten that from Bushwhacker Luke. The RUDOS put away their differences, and contine to kick the crap out of Seville with some double team moves.

Texano looks like a fat gay Shocker, for you guys reading this at home. Seville takes a big powerbomb. Texano goes to check to see if Seville's heart is still beating. Hey, that was unique, I never seen anyone ever do that before in the E.

Brazo leaves the ring. We're down to Seville and Texano. Even though Seville has been beaten more than a black guy by the NYPD, I still think he's the favorite because there is no way this fat fuck will get over the cage. On the ouside of the ring, the LLL ref beats up the AAA ref, and rakes his face on the cage. The LLL and AAA wrestlers on the ouside brawl.

Seville starts to Hulk up and gets the advantage! I never saw it coming! All of a sudden a guy who looks like a waiter comes out. He beats up the LLL guys. I'll take this LLL bitch to go son!

The waiter and the refs leave and go to the back. Seville scales the cage, but he's met by Brazo, who head buts him back down. I guess to win this match all members of each team must be outside of the cage. See this match is telling a language-free story! Even though it's a bad one!

Brazo goes back in the ring to team up on Seville some more. Heavy Metal gets back in the ring as well to take care of Brazo. He hits a disco punch on Brazo. This match is now more messier than a 3 year olds diaper. Texano is blown up. He literally is now walking to the ropes and just stumbling around like me walking home from the bar down the block at 3 am.

The RUDOS beat up on Heavy metal. Brazo goes to leave the ring, but stays at the top of the cage. He stays there, and literally waits 3 minuts for a spot to happen, as Metal launches Seville up to him and Seville and Brazo both go the ring floor. NOW, in the cage, we got Texano and Heavy Metal. This match is all over the place. Heavy Metal hits a Motivator missle dropkick from the toprope. Texano says, what's selling, and grabs a broom stick and hits Heavy Metal with it.

He then low blows Heavy Metal for good measure. LOL the announcers keep saying grasso the whole match. I know that means fat, because at the bodega, they were telling me that too many Coronas make you grasso.

Heavy Metal beats up Texano, and just runs up the cage with a sudden burst of adrenaline and energy, and ends this shit. That fat slob Texano is left alone in the ring, and he wonders why he lost.

Hey for what it's worth, this match was 25 minutes long, and ended off the show.
Texano has to get his hair cut now. Seriously he is just standing there, and his hair is clipped by the barber. I think he got the fade. He also got a charms blowpop for being a good boy and not crying during his hair cut.

Final McWord
Ugh. This was the worst lucha show I ever saw. Where's Chessman and Icecream!? Seriously, if you had to put a show on to try to get Americans into it, this is a prime example of something you don't put on. I heard that the Pro-Life committee even thought that this show should've been aborted.

Regardless, I'll still be watching AAA next week.

Sean "The MiC" McCaffrey
BULLSMC@aol.com