Italianissimo Ristorante & Gastronomie

Submitted by: Robert Payes/Stiff Shots Wrestling Photography

If you're a fan of THE SOPRANOS, you've already seen the inside and outside of Italianissimo -- it was featured prominently in the fourth season's premiere episode, causing both your humble photographer and his Neopolitan in-laws (and West Caldwell residents) to pop HUGE when we saw it. ('Specially because I'd taken 'em there for the previous Mother's Day...) And yes, they had the snapshot shrine inside commemorating their visit by Pope Gandolfini the Violent, nyuk nyuk.

Admittedly, the place doesn't look too impressive on the outside. It's tucked into the back of a boxy strip mall that also houses a Dunkin Donuts, a Harmon's, a hair salon, and a Mailboxes Etc. Heck, it doesn't look that impressive when you walk inside, resembling nothing more than your typical eat-in pizzeria (which, at that point, it is). Keep going, pilgrim, and make a right turn halfway in -- you'll wind up in the multileveled main dining area, and that's where the mangia begins...

A word of warning: Italianissimo doesn't have a liquor license. It does, however, have a generous BYOB policy. So if you're looking to wine 'n' dine a hot date, find a joint with a bartender and/or wine cellar on the premises. On the other hand, if you're with family/friends/spouse -- or, if you're last name's McCaffery and you want to get tanked at dinner for a discount -- run up the street to Shop Rite Liquors and bag a nice bottle of mass-produced vino and the Italianissimo staff will happily hook you up with ice bucket and corkscrew. On to the menu. If you're in the mood for appetizers, you must try the "FUNGO PORTOBELLO - Grigliato al profumo d'aglio e basilico." Whoops, forgot to turn on the closed-captioning for the Cosa Nostra-impared. [grin] That's "Braised marinated portobello mushroom scented with a hint of rosemary, purple basil and garlic." Before you turn up your nose and go "Ewww, mushrooms" -- just try the damn things. You'll think you're eating thinly-sliced steak, no lie. I've had this dish three separate times and have loved it, as did everyone else in my party who tried it.

Being an Italian joint, it should come as no surprise that the menu offers pasta dishes up the wazoo, as well as a nice spread of chicken, veal, and beef specialties. Being something of a seafood connoisseur -- and no, I don't just mean "that part of a woman that reportedly tastes like seafood!" -- I head straight for the "Pesce" part of the menu. The "Branzino alle spezie" (spice-encrusted Chilean sea bass) is the jewel here: a succulent hunk of mild filet that'll encourage you to eat slowly, so as to savor every last flake. (Who cares if it's neither bass nor Chilean, not to mention being overfished into extinction? Enjoy it while you can!) Another winner from King Triton's larder is the "Salmone Crostato", a horseradish crusted salmon with drizzled caramelized ginger infused orange-vodka emulsion. (Either of these bad boys'll set you back about twenty-something bucks a pop, which classifies Italianissimo as a "mid-price" eatery. Save your pocket change accordingly...)

Dress code is neat/casual for lunch or dinner, suits 'n' dresses if you feel like putting on the dog, but the staff probably wouldn't blink if the Christopher Street Connection showed up in their ring gear. [Like it would phase the Chrissies in the slightest if they did object!] They've got a neat web site, too, with menus, directions, and recipes.

Italianissimo Ristorante & Gastronomie
40 Clinton Road
West Caldwell, NJ
(973) 228-5158

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