Astounding Adventures In PWS

Pro Wrestling Stupidity

The PWS office is in turmoil this week. Promoter , Dereck Crapout, is bemoaning how bad the PWS NY debut was. “ We have to do something, Keith, I thought that Bambi Albino was bringing in a lot of talent.

“Dereck, says Keith, “ just because she blew a lot of that talent doesn’t mean that they’ll work for you.” “I don’t know why, Dereck says, “ I pay them more than they are worth and we draw huge crowds” I’ll bet JAPW & NWS have something to do with this.” I’m gonna be THE promotion in NJ. I’ll have to take drastic measures.”

“ Like what?” says Keith, “ You have to find a good building and pack it, how will you do that?” Lightbulb goes off in Crapout’s head. “ I’ve got it!!!, I’ll bring in a partner, a guy the boys all respect. “ I know he’s retired and has a thriving Italian Ice franchise in Cali, but wrestling is in his blood and he has a proven track record of running successful shows”. “Oh, says Keith, “Your talking about Frank Goodman”. “No , you fucking idiot, I’m talking about the savior of Indy Wrestling, I’m gonna bring in Stiferman.

“ My God, what a brilliant idea”, says Keith” No one is more over with the boys than Stiferman.”“ Glad you agree, he’ll be here any minute. Knock on the door, a disheveled man is ushered into to the office. He is wearing a 20 year old Black Sabbath tour shirt that has never been washed. It has encrusted spittle and vomit stains on it. This is Stiferman.

“I’m so glad you are here, says Crapout. “What are your plans?” “Well “says Stifer we need ticket sellers, lots of ‘em and they have to be 14 and under.” “ Why?” says Crapout. “ Don’t question me, I’m here to save your worthless promotion and make it more successful than Cyberspace was. “ Besides , it’s in my contract that I can roll around on a dirty floor with young boys.”

“ Ok, I’m sorry I questioned your integrity” So where have you picked our next show to be?’ Belville, your home town, I’m sure we will have a turn away crowd”. Now get busy with the flyers and let me create.” Soon we will be the premiere Wrestling company in NJ. “ Now let me book all this stuff out.”

To be continued

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