The wizard of id reviews wkmedia’s JAPANESE HARDCORE WRESTLING #10
The good folks at wkmedia provide another compilation show of Japanese wrestling for North American fans. Hosted by commentators Buck Woodward and Eric Gargiulo, PPV #10 offers high flying cruiserweights, ladies action and of course, some blood-soaked deathmatch insanity! In other words, a little something for everyone to enjoy, at a price anyone can afford.
**Id’s note: I know I’m beyond late with this review so I’ve beefed up the match descriptions a bit more than normal. What follows is a detailed blow by blow description of the action on the show with the exception of the final match - for reasons I’ll explain when I get there.
Starting the show is Big Japan action featuring Tomoaki Honma vs. Ryuji Yamakawa in a Barbed-Wire Board and 9 Inch Nail Board Deathmatch.
The ring has barbed-wire boards set in two corners. Outside on one side are more barbed wire boards and the opposite side has two boards filled with 9 inch nails. Gargiulo starts hyping the dangerously deadly nails from the start but the camera never shows them until well into the match, which doesn’t help the viewer build any suspense. This happens a lot in deathmatches and I think that’s a shame. A slow camera pan showing close-up detail of weapons, hazards and gimmicks beforehand would greatly add to the effect for viewers. (As would a similar shot after the carnage.)
Honma and Yamakawa start tentatively, testing each other in a basic lock-up. Yamakawa gains the initial advantage and hits two running leg drops across Honma’s face. Honma recovers quickly and tries to whip his opponent into the wire but Yamakawa just drops to the mat. Honma misses a dropkick but hit’s a drop toe hold and works through a headlock, chinlock and big knee lifts into Yamakawa. His next whip attempt is reversed and Honma is thrown at the wire but he runs up the board and ropes, back-flipping out of harm’s way. He nails the stunned Yamakawa with a kick and whips him into the other barbed-wire board, following up with kicks and stomps while Yamakawa is entangled. Honma delivers a huge running elbow strike and the action spills outside the ring.
Honma maintains his advantage outside the ring, delivering chair shots to Yamakawa and throwing him into the ringside fans. In true Big Japan tradition, the combatants then tour the crowd, scattering chairs and fans alike. Up in the bleachers Yamakawa reverses a whip and sends Honma crashing into the wall, then leads him down the stairs and into the lobby of the building. The two battle past the concession stands before returning to the arena through another hallway, followed by a pack of rabid fans and the struggling camera crew. Once back in the arena Yamakawa smashes Honma’s head repeatedly into the wall, busting him open. They return briefly to ringside, then it’s back through the crowd to the stage where Yamakawa delivers a brutal sit-out power bomb. Honma is a hurting unit after that and a vertical suplex onto the stage adds to his woes. Yamakawa continues his assault with kicks, elbows and chair shots sending Honma tumbling down the stairs.
Dragging Honma back to the ring, Yamakawa sets up a suplex from the apron with the intent of sending Honma onto the nails but it’s blocked and he gets dumped gut-first on the top rope. Honma delivers a running elbow knocking Yamakawa from the apron but he clears the nails. (This is the first glimpse viewers get of the dreaded 9 inch nails.) Honma flies over the top rope with a hilo onto Yamakawa then grinds his head into the nails. With his opponent down and bleeding, Honma takes the time to bring some chairs into the ring, setting one up in front of the barbed-wire board. Yamakawa makes his way back into the ring and Honma lifts him for what looks to be a power bomb onto the chair but Yamakawa tries to roll over his back to escape. Honma snags him in a fireman’s carry and Samoan drops him onto the board, scraping Yamakawa’s back down the barbed-wire! (That seriously had to hurt.)
With Yamakawa down, bleeding and screaming, Honma sets up the other barbed-wire board across two chairs in the other corner. Yamakawa is dragged to the corner but begins to fight back as they trade set-ups on the turnbuckle. Yamakawa wins this struggle and a top rope hurracanrana sends Honma crashing through his own construction project. Yamakawa follows up with a sit-out power bomb onto the remnants of the board. They both struggle to their feet and Honma lands an enzeguri, followed by a tombstone piledriver. With Yamakawa prone on the mat, Honma keeps him there with a top-rope diving headbutt before heading outside the ring to play construction engineer again, throwing fans from their seats to get the materials he needs to set up another barbed-wire board.
Honma drags Yamakawa outside to the apron and sets him up on the corner turnbuckles, climbing up after him. Both men are fatigued at this point and they spill into the ring. Honma’s second attempt at this maneuver works however and a hurracanrana sends Yamakawa crashing from the turnbuckles through the barbed-wire board. Honma throws him back into the ring and hits two running elbows but gets only a two count in the matches first pinfall attempt. A Michinoku Driver on Yamakawa gets another two count. Yamakawa ducks another running elbow strike and nails Honma with a release German suplex, dropping him right on his head! Somehow, Honma gets to his feet but a lariat puts him right back on the mat for a two count.
Now it’s Yamakawa’s turn to play builder as he sets up the last barbed-wire board overtop of the 9 inch nails, suspending it between the ring apron and a table. He drags Honma out to the apron where they trade elbows before spilling to the floor. Honma gains the advantage and power bombs Yamakawa through the board onto the nails. Back inside the ring Honma hits two huge running elbows but Yamakawa manages to kick out just in time. They trade standing blows then collide after springing off the ropes. Honma swings from the knees with a devastating elbow to the chin and Yamakawa drops for the final time. Winner: Tomoaki Honma.
A very hard hitting match with both wrestlers delivering their big moves. They played the build-up to the gimmicks well, creating more effect to their use. Nice to see that in this day and age of deathmatches where guys are shredded before the bell even rings. Honma’s not a regular worker of this style but acquitted himself admirably. The whole match, from the slow start, through the obligatory crowd tour, to the final segment of fast, brutal action worked well to showcase and heighten the dangers of the gimmicks and the fighting spirit and talents of the workers. I give it 3 transfusions out of 5.
Match 2: NEO - Chaparita Asari vs. Kyoko Inoue.
This looks like a mismatch as Chaparita Asari is tiny even for a Japanese woman and Kyoko Inoue, at 5’3” and 209lbs, absolutely dwarfs her. Inoue is wearing perhaps the gaudiest outfit I’ve ever seen - a mishmash of brightly colored panels and fringes. She looks like a hot-air balloon stuffed with Jello!
Asari explodes out of the corner at the bell and gets absolutely flattened with a powerbomb. This looks to be a squash for sure but Asari manages to lever Inoue through the ropes with an arm drag. A big body block off the top sends both to the floor but they’re quickly back into the ring. (“Quickly” is a relative term when describing Inoue.)
Inoue allows herself to be whipped into the corner where she can take a breather while Asari does a reverse double handspring mule kick. On her second attempt she misses and Inoue locks on something Woodward calls an inverted Indian deathlock followed by a release into a half boston-crab. Asari looks like she’s trapped under a circus tent but finally makes the ropes to break the hold. Inoue delivers a lumbering lariat against the ropes and Asari gets locked in the half crab again. Once again she struggles to the ropes.
At this point Asari looks almost dead but Inoue seems confused as to what to do with her. She finally drags Asari up and whips her into the corner, charging in after her. Asari gets her legs up and hurracanranas the bigger woman to the mat. Suddenly, Asari is alive again and runs to climb the opposite corner. Man, she’s quick, but she always stops at the top to salute the fans or something - Inoue’s ‘coming out of a daze’ timing is a little off and she sorta waits for the move. Asari hit’s a missile dropkick but bounces off Inoue so she does her rapid climb, dramatic pause thing again and takes Inoue down with a body press for a two count. The size difference is so outrageous that Asari looks like she’s riding a parade float during the pin attempt.
They meet in the center of the ring and Asari ducks around and grabs Inoue for what looks like a belly to back suplex attempt but naturally, she can’t even budge the behemoth. Asari is laughing and yells something to the crowd which gets a big laugh. Now it’s a comedy match? WTF? Inoue shrugs Asari off and kicks her in the snatch before lifting her in a powerbomb attempt. Asari floats over the top and takes Inoue down with a sunset flip into another two count. Gargiulo and Woodward are selling the shit out of the match on commentary but honestly, I’m having a little trouble suspending my disbelief for this one. (And I’m a huge mark for woman’s matches - especially Japanese women’s action, so that should tell you something.)
Asari applies a laughable abdominal stretch which Inoue shrugs off before whipping her into the corner. Asari mounts the ropes and hit’s a tornado DDT and Inoue rolls outside for a burger…sorry, a breather. Asari does a beautiful looking moonsault from the top rope to the outside. Inoue picks herself up and rolls into the ring where she’s hit with a leaping hurracanrana from the top rope by Asari but kicks out at two.
By the time Inoue gets to her feet Asari is back up on the corner but Inoue just pulls her onto the mat before hoisting her own enormous backside up onto the top turnbuckle. Asari, quicker than the proverbial hiccup, joins her and hits another rana from the top. Inoue is sprawled like a psychedelic beached whale in the ring and Asari comes off the top with her sky twister press, landing on Inoue’s legs. A second sky twister lands in the same spot. On her third attempt Asari lands the sky twister splash directly to Inoue’s gut. (Frankly, I’m surprised she missed it the first two times - it’s a big target.) Anyway, the last one did the trick and Asari gets the win by pinfall.
Winner: Chaparita Asari
Woodward and Gargiulo tried very hard to sell the excitement and drama of this match, and the crowd seemed to enjoy it, but I just couldn’t get into it. Aside from the devastating powerbomb in the opening seconds, Inoue basically just stood (or laid) around waiting for Asari’s next big offensive move. The Boston crab stuff was good but Asari’s miraculous recovery destroyed any credibility to the sequence. Sad to say, but I’m looking to fill a bowl after this one because it was a serious buzz killer. I give it 1 menstrual cramp out of 5.
Match 3: Big Japan, Mad Man Pondo vs. Necro Butcher in a Falls Count Anywhere Streetfight.
Necro starts the match with a series of punches and running kicks to Pondo’s head but the Mad Man fights back with a kick to the nuts followed by a clothesline. Necro, always a glutton for punishment says ‘bring it on’ so Pondo obliges with another boot to the balls and a whip off the ropes laying the Butcher out with a stop sign smash.
Necro rolls out of the ring and Pondo follows, grabbing a ringside table. (I love those Japanese tables - smaller, but way heavier and sturdier than the Home Depot specials in North America.) Butcher is kneeling on the floor and Pondo busts out a wrestling move by suplexing the table onto Necro’s head! (No problem believing THAT hurt!) Necro gets up and charges Pondo, whipping him into the ringside seats.
Pondo’s down and Butcher rummages around to find the ring bell which he drives into Pondo’s head. Necro then throws the first three rows of chairs onto his prone opponent. Pondo kicks out of a pinfall attempt so Butcher carries him further into the crowd before slamming him onto more chairs. By this time both men are busted open. A running bell shot to the head puts Pondo on the floor and Necro delivers multiple blows with the bell and the hammer. (He might have hit him with the time keeper too but with the crowd milling around the combatants it was hard to tell.)
Necro drags Pondo back to ringside and rolls him into the ring. Pondo staggers to his feet and whips out a foot long butcher knife! (Where the hell did he hide that?) He slams the handle of the knife into Necro’s head as he’s climbing through the ropes. Trapping Necro against the ropes, Pondo demonstrates his carving technique, slicing and digging the weapon into Necro’s head. Butcher starts bleeding buckets and there’s some great close-up camera shots of Pondo grinding the tip of the knife into Necro’s skull. Mad Man repeats this torture on all four sides of the ring before whipping the now blood-soaked Butcher into the ropes and driving the handle of the blade into his head again.
Pondo ditches the knife and pulls out a stapler but Necro fights back, gaining possession of the weapon. The usual ‘I’ll staple you - you staple me’ routine follows with Pondo eventually stapling Butcher’s lip to the turnbuckle. A kick to the top rope frees him and Pondo follows up with another kick to the nuts and then a final staple shot, this one to the nuts as well. (Necro does more selling after that than every ticket-seller match of the last 5 years combined!)
Pondo loads the ring with chairs and slams one over the head of a now standing Necro. The seat flies off and the chair ends up hanging around Butcher’s neck. Proving he’s the REAL madman, Necro says bring em on and Pondo delivers two more chairs, each remaining on Necro’s neck. Necro calls for a fourth but Pondo delivers a kick to the balls and swings the chair like a baseball bat into the chairs draped around Butcher’s neck dropping him to the mat.
Necro rolls outside and they’re back into the crowd where Pondo gets suplexed onto the stairs to the stage. Necro sets up a bunch of chairs in front of the stage but Pondo breaks up the powerbomb attempt and launches Butcher onto his own handiwork. Necro is dragged back to ringside and left to bleed in the seats while Pondo constructs a tables/chairs monstrosity beside the ring. Normally, Pondo takes enough time with his construction projects that fans can take a bathroom break but he was surprisingly quick with this one.
Draping Necro on the ringside barrier, Pondo attempts a running chair/kick maneuver but, since he runs slower than molasses, Butcher is able to avoid the move and slam Pondo with a chair of his own. Action returns to the ring apron and Butcher sets Pondo up on the top turnbuckle before delivering a hurracanrana that sends the Mad Man crashing through his own tables/chairs pyramid. A pin attempt amid the debris gets only a two count. (Dya ever notice that they guy who builds the construction project is invariably the guy who crashes through it? Kind of like the guy who brings his own weapon to a Fans-bring-the-weapons match always has it used against him.)
Necro climbs once again to the top turnbuckle but Pondo meets him there and (sorta) press slams him onto the debris at ringside. Necro lands hard on his hip and the ref and various other Big Japan wrestlers appear concerned about his well being. The ref even orders Pondo back into the ring… and this is supposed to be a falls count anywhere streetfight! Butcher is either really hurt or doing the world’s best sell job as he can hardly walk but somehow crawls back into the ring. Pondo goes for a pin but Necro kicks out and another stop sign smash from Pondo fails to get the pin either.
Pondo targets Butcher’s injured hip by locking on an STF but Necro struggles to the ropes to break the hold. (Another of those wtf moments… If falls count anywhere shouldn’t they count if wrestlers are in the ropes too?) Pondo snap mares the hobbled Butcher onto the chairs and other in-ring debris and mounts the corner but Necro connects with a thrown chair and climbs up after him. A top rope suplex from Necro brings both combatants crashing back onto the debris pile but Pondo kicks out of a lackluster pin attempt.
Necro climbs the corner ropes again, signaling for what looks to be a tornado DDT but Pondo just heaves him back onto the pile of chairs and Necro lands again on his injured hip. Pondo locks on another STF and after some struggle, The Necro Butcher taps out!
Winner: Mad Man Pondo by submission.
For the second PPV in a row Necro Butcher suffers a submission loss! This was a classic hardcore brawl between two legends of the genre. The match played out well with both guys selling their injuries and switching attacks and counters in response. The obligatory crowd brawling was short enough that it didn’t slow the pace and weapon usage was consistent and well timed to draw maximum drama. (I could have done without the stapler sequence but that’s a personal preference.) The knife work was sick enough to satisfy even the most bloodthirsty fans. Pondo was surprisingly mobile for a change. (Normally, he lumbers around like a dog humping a football.) Necro’s hip injury seemed legit and he sold it for the remainder of the bout. Pondo getting the win by targeting it only added to it’s credibility. Match rating: 4 out of 5 open wounds.
Match 4: Toryumon X, UWA Welterweight World Championship. Takeshi Minamino (Champion) vs. Taiji Ishimori.
Former Dragon Cup winners Minamino and Ishimori are accompanied at ringside by multiple cohorts. Ishimori’s group are nondescript in appearance like the challenger himself, who’s sporting a bandaged shoulder. Minamino is very flamboyant, dressed in florescent green and his posse is attired in equally bright outfits. (I didn’t catch the name of their group but they sport nicknames like Mango, Passion and Pineapple so they must be some sort of fruit salad.)
The match opens with Minamino offering a handshake to his challenger but delivering a stinging face slap instead. They both run the ropes and Ishimori connects with a flying head-scissors causing the champ to bail outside to regroup. Ishimori moonsaults from the second rope over the top onto Minamino then quickly re-enters the ring. Minamino delays his own return, stealing a fan’s drink and refreshing himself. (His cocky swagger and facial expressions are reminiscent of the late Eddie Guerrero.)
Back in the ring Minamino punches the challenger down and delivers a fingerpoke to the eye followed by a chinlock and a nostril rip. He follows up by repeatedly stomping Ishimori in the corner while his fruity cohorts deliver cheap shots from outside. Ishimori is prone in the ring and the champ leads the crowd in a rhythmic handclap before delivering dancing kicks to Ishimori’s head in time to the beat. Minamino then does some weird hand/arm gyrations before dropping a fist to the challenger’s throat, followed by a pin attempt that garners a two count. An armbar into a suplex gets him another two count.
Minamino whips the challenger into the ropes and Ishimori handsprings back, attempting an elbow but he gets caught in an armbar instead. The champs wrenches big time on Ishimori’s arm but eventually he makes the ropes to break the hold. Minamino then sets him up on the corner ropes but Ishimori fends him off before getting crotched on the top rope. Minamino again climbs up after Ishimori but once again gets pushed off, falling awkwardly to the mat on his neck and head.
A dropkick from the top rope puts Minamino to the outside but he’s quick to re-enter the ring this time only to be caught with a drop toehold which hangs him in the ropes. Ishimori nails him with a 985 (a 619) and gets a two count on the champ. Ishimori follows up quickly with a German suplex into a bridging pin attempt for a near fall. He misses a charge into the corner and the champ nails him with a DDT and then a second rope swanton.
Ishimori counters a Death Valley driver attempt with a crucifix and another two count. Manimino blocks a hurracanrana and tries for a power bomb but Ishimori floats over into a sunset flip. Ishimori nails the champ with a DDT but his attempt at springing off the ropes is foiled by Pineapple grabbing his legs. Ishimori nails Pineapple with a 985 then tries springing from the opposite ropes where Mango smashes him with a chair in the back.
Minamino capitalizes on the outside interference and power bombs the challenger for a close two count. Ishimori comes back with a Death Valley Driver but Minamino is quick to respond with two Death Valley bombs. Ishimori manages to kick out of the pin but he’s easy pickings for Minamino to deliver a devastating Death Valley bomb from the second rope and the following pinfall could have been a ten count.
Winner of the match (and still Champion): Takeshi Minamino by pinfall.
This was an awesome showcase of lightweight action, made even more amazing by the contrast to the bloodfest which proceeded it. Fans of high flying action will eat this one up. Taiji Ishimori is bland in character but very smooth in his execution and explosively fast. Takeshi Minamino plays a great rudo champion and his crowd interaction adds to the enjoyment level of the match. No need to know the history behind this feud as everything develops strongly from the onset. Enough well placed grounded sequences kept the high flying from overkill and the high impact stuff ending the contest was exciting and believable. I’m impressed. Match rating: 4 out of 5 “Holy Shits”
Match 5: DDT, KO-D Open weight Championship - Sanshiro Takagi (Champion) vs. Kudo
The combatants circle each other before clinching and trading some take downs and mat work. Takagi holds a slight advantage by working Kudo’s legs. When they regain their feet the champ keeps control with a straight kick and headlock before whipping Kudo into the ropes and rocking him with a body block. A second whip into the ropes sees Kudo hit the larger man with a beautiful dropkick. Takagi shakes it off and on Kudo’s next spring off the ropes he just steers him over the top rope to the floor.
Takagi follows him outside, whipping the challenger shoulder first into the ring post. With Kudo down, Takagi pulls up the ringside mats and then body slams Kudo to the exposed floor. The champ does a bit of premature grandstanding to the fans and pays for it when Kudo reverses his next attempted whip launching the bigger man deep into the seats. Takagi is down for a while, giving Kudo time to find a table and set it up at ringside.
As Takagi gets to his feet he’s met with two big knees to the gut and a snap mare back to the floor. Kudo delivers two big soccer kicks to Takagi’s back then whips him shoulder first into the post. With Takagi against the post, Kudo unloads with chops and two huge kicks to the chest. Takagi ducks the third kick and Kudo’s shin clobbers the post! Takagi immediately targets the injured limb, dropping the challenger shin first on a chair. Dragging Kudo back into the ring a lazy pin attempt gets only a one count..
Takagi keeps working on Kudo’s injured leg with multiple stomps before hanging him over the top rope and wrenching away on it some more. When the female ref finally gets Takagi to break from his attack on the ropes, Kudo manages to reverse a whip into the corner but his following charge is stopped by a Takagi dropkick to his knee which puts him down for a two count. More stomps and slams of Kudo’s leg into the mat and Takagi tries again for the pin but again, Kudo’s out at two.
Takagi switches to a Texas cloverleaf but Kudo struggles to the ropes forcing the break. Takagi tries for a running lariat aimed low at the back of Kudo’s injured leg but the challenger leaps over the charge and delivers a weak roundhouse kick to the champ’s head. It’s enough to set Takagi up for a wicked spinning heel kick that propels him over the ropes.
When Takagi regains his feet on the outside he’s met by Kudo sailing over the top with a hilo that sends both grapplers crashing onto the fans in the front row. Kudo recovers first and lays Takagi on the table he set up earlier. Climbing to the corner turnbuckle Kudo delivers his patented double knee drop to Takagi’s gut which bends, but doesn’t break, the table. (Damn, those tables are tough!) Kudo rolls the champ into the ring and gets a near fall.
Staying on the offensive, Kudo delivers a stinging kick to Takagi’s gut and whips him into the corner before delivering a running double knee drop to his chest. Takagi manages to reverse an attempted whip into the opposite corner but his follow up charge ends with a face plant into the turnbuckle courtesy of a Kudo drop toe hold. A German suplex with a bridge gets Kudo a two count.
Kudo maintains the advantage with punches, chops and another spinning heel kick. Kudo hoists the stunned Takagi up and delivers a devastating cradled brain buster type move. (Woodward called it a reality check then a kryptonite and finally an air raid crash - whatever you call it, it looks brutal!) It’s not enough to put Takagi away however as he kicks out at two.
With the champ prone on the mat, Kudo climbs to the top and tries for another double knee drop but Takagi gets his own knees up and the move lands shins to shins! Both men are slow to rise and begin trading blows - punches from Takagi being answered by kicks from Kudo. Takagi closes in and delivers three short, stiff elbows to his opponents face but Kudo comes back with a grazing kick to the head followed by a crescent kick that connects.
A dazed Takagi is tripped into the ropes and locked in a tarantula type hold. On the ref’s order to break, Kudo just drags the champ off the ropes into a pin attempt but Takagi escapes. A kneeling Takagi blocks one kick aimed at his head but the next connects and he’s laid out again. Kudo slowly mounts the corner but Takagi’s been playing possum and leaps up and delivers a dragon screw leglock (Woodward again) from the second rope.
The champ goes back on the attack, power bombing Kudo, who kicks out quickly. Hoisting Kudo on his shoulders, Takagi drops him face first to the mat but again Kudo’s out at the two count. Takagi whips Kudo into the ropes looking to land his big lariat but his lighter opponent flips around his outstretched arm and catches him with a backslide pin attempt. Three kicks to Takagi’s head leads to yet another two count. Kudo delivers a suplex and lands another top rope double knee drop and, you guessed it, another two count!
With Takagi down, Kudo strips off his own knee pads and again flies off the top rope but this time the champ rolls out of the way and it’s a double knee drop to the mat. Takagi tries for the pin but Kudo’s not finished yet. Takagi locks on a leg hold but Kudo’s close enough to the ropes to break the hold. The champ delivers a thundering double underhook DDT. Kudo’s up quickly, but dazed and Takagi levels him with a huge standing lariat, following up with another unsuccessful pin attempt.
Kudo blocks the next lariat attempt and backflips out of an attempted stunner. He attempts another comeback with standing kicks to Takagi’s head but there’s nothing left in his tank and they’re little more than taps. Takagi delivers a standing lariat to an incoming kick and another one to Kudo’s head, finally putting him down for the three count.
Winner, and still KO-D Open Weight Champion: Sanshiro Takagi
This match had me on the edge of my seat. No less than 15 pin attempts really sold their desire to win. It was a showcase of different styles as Kudo’s high flying and kicks countered the grounded, hold-based style of Sanshiro. The tempo built throughout and the advantage didn’t switch after every big move. Sanshiro played the role of over confident champion early very well and convincingly projected the realization that he had underestimated his opponent. It really looked like Takagi was confounded by Kudo’s offense and searching for an effective counter. Kudo sold his sore leg throughout the match and still looked like he’d pull off the upset win. His eventual exhaustion weakening his biggest weapons (his kicks) made the finish very believable. Only the histrionics of Woodward and Gargiulo upset the flow of this match. Best match of the show!
What followed was the WORST match of the show…
Match 6: Big Japan, 6 Man Tag with Light Tubes - Ryuji Ito, Abdullah the Kobayashi & Daisuke Sekimoto vs. Bad Boy Hito, Jun Kasai & Takashi Sasaki
Other than hyping the fact that light tubes were involved, Woodward and Gargiulo did little to explain why this match even took place. Held outdoors, at night, in a parking lot, it immediately became a wildly scattered brawl as soon as the combatants laid eyes on each other. And immediately, things went south in a hurry… A blow by blow description of this mess would require more effort than it deserves.
The two teams broke into warring pairs and fought running battles around the ring and through the crowd. Camera shots jumped from one pair to the next, destroying any sense of continuity or reason to the events unfolding. It was almost like watching a compilation video of three different matches - Ito / Sasaki, Kasai / Kobayashi and Sekimoto / Hito. The view would change just in time to witness someone clobber the other with a chair or light tube. Random sequences of offense that demonstrated little in the way of anything except the inherent difficulty of filming something at night when the ring lights are a hundred feet away.
Each warring pair had a moment to climb in the ring and play with the tubes and in some very clumsy timing, managed to all get together to receive Ito’s big top rope dive. The normally over the top commentating of Gargiulo was kicked up a few notches and annoying as the frantic camera work. Frankly, there were a lot of things not to like about the opening of the match.
In one spot, Kasai walked Kobayashi through the crowd, past the last row, across empty pavement and into the darkness before “launching” him at a chain link fence from about 10 feet away. All with just one hand cupped behind the fat guy’s head! Now, that whole “lead your opponent by cupping the back of his head” thing is believable for about 3 feet. Anything more than that is just ridiculous. Kasai and Kobayashi covered about 150 feet! And for what? A chain link fence that barely moved after the guy covered the last 5 steps on his own? Random scenes of the grapplers totally no-selling tube and chairs shots in flash-by camera shots did nothing to explain why ANY of this shit was happening.
The commentary was no help. Woodward mentioned the shirt Hito was wearing in reference to a guy who wasn’t even there and Gargiulo kept going on about Hito wanting a piece of the Big Japan champion, Ito, but Hito was fighting Sasaki and made no effort to get at Ito - even when he had the chance. Meanwhile, they’re telling us all this crap while the camera’s on Kasai and Kobayashi brawling in the merchandise area!
Eventually, all six people made it to the ring and a tag match broke out! Like, an honest to goodness tag match for Christ sakes! The heel team, (Kasai, Hito & Sasaki,) isolated Sekimoto for an extended beat down, tagging in and out for their turn at smashing him with light tubes and a barbed wire bat… while Sekimoto’s partners stood in their corner waiting for a tag. It seems incredibly stupid to start things off with a train wreck then switch to a game of checkers.
Making it even more unbelievable was the ease with which the heels periodically slapped Ito and Kobayashi off the apron. I mean, come ON! A couple minutes ago these guys were selling chair shots and light tubes for all of TWO SECONDS and now they’re being knocked off the ring apron by FACE SLAPS??? And selling them like they just got swatted by a 700lb pissed off grizzly bear? Puh-leeze.
Finally, Sekimoto’s partners entered they fray and they gained control of the heels but the crowd was indifferent to the rally. The in ring spots where all six were involved were clumsy and didn’t come off as credible in the least. (Ito did a top rope moonsault onto all three of the bad guys that was scary only because his knee almost crushed Kasai’s face.) It’s bad enough in a regular match when believability breaks down due to poor timing but it’s REALLY bad when it happens in a hardcore encounter. It can destroy not just the spot, but the entire match. These guys destroyed this match many times over.
And another thing… Watching a guy holding light tubes in place while he waits for his opponent to deliver the big glass shattering blow just pisses me off. Especially when they pick up or adjust tubes that have moved from where they were placed. Either lay there like you’re half dead and let the tubes lay where they are… or throw the fucking things off you! It’s just stupid beyond belief to retrieve a tube that has rolled off or to obviously hold them in position. How is that supposed to make the viewer believe you’re anything but an idiot? ( I will give props to Abdullah the Kobayashi… he at least, carries the tubes with him when he delivers a top rope elbow drop.)
Not that it matters… but Sekimoto eventually pinned Sasaki with a German suplex and bridge.
This match was appalling. It totally killed the buzz from the previous action. It killed the live crowd too. While they seemed to enjoy fleeing the riot at the start of it all, they quickly fell silent when the tag match broke out in the ring and they stayed that way for the duration. I’m surprised wkmedia even decided it was worth airing. I wish they hadn’t. I give it 5 out of 5 Clusterfucks. (And that’s not a good thing.)
The PPV was worth the $14 Cdn, delivering 4 out of 6 matches that were good to excellent. Good enough to forgive the inclusion of the less than stellar ladies match but the 6-Man tag was quite possibly the worst “Main Event” they’ve had yet. Too bad, because it really took away from the Toryumon and DDT matches that preceded it and prevents me from recommending this show to people not familiar with their better efforts. (There are still some upcoming air dates if you’re interested.) Hopefully, wkmedia will do a better job with #11.
So that’s it. This monster of a review is finished. (I congratulate those of you who made it this far.) As usual, any comments, criticism or praise can be posted (free of charge) on the message board or you can email Sean. (Assuming he didn’t die of thirst while reading this thing.)
Gordo,
The wizard of id
zapflash@sympatico.ca
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