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DOI EDITOR NOTE: As people may or may not know, Jimmy Hustler has been posting drunken rants on the DOI Message Forum for some time now. Several fans have asked the DOI to make this a regular feature on the site, so whenever Jimmy gets drunk enough to write a column like this, we'll post it here. Sure there may not be much wrestling talk in it per se, but at least it's entertaining and something quick to read while you're at work, in the toilet, have 2 minutes to spare, etc. Enjoy!
A true gentleman, Jimmy Hustler
DRUNKEN STUPORS
By your host, Jimmy Hustler
The time now is about 7:45 am and i am just now stumbling in the door.
I had a very fun and interesting hang out night which included hooking up with a sexy girl hos best friend is also interested in me and resulted in the two of them going off to the side and having a discussion about how I am getting in between them... WTF is that all about. If they are such good friends and they wouldn't let a guy between them, why not just put the guy between them. Shit, they kissed more times than chick #2 and I kissed and that was several times. The are both smoking hot and I Would hook up with either one of them or both. It's just a matter of which is gonna be the aggressive one and whos gonna play games and wait for me to make the first move. ***I have to keep it clean because they asked about this site and column so they might be reading this.
Anyway, my night started out after I git out of school. I went to Adam's Bar and lounge. I went there had a dring or two. Then I went around the cornr to another club called PLEASURE. there I ran into ADAM, the owner of the place I work at. he was pissed drunk and talking shit and acting all jealous because the girl he's been trying to get with, is the same girl I have been "hanging out" with for the past 2 weeks. I had a couple of drinks there and then headed to the Metro Lounge, in Middle Village, Queens. There, I had another 2 drinks and 2 shots. Had a good time. Big Shout out to my man Toby and chris.
By that time, it was 3am. I proceeded to go to some fucked up illegal after hour spot in brighton Beach, (name to be with held to protect the innocent). While there, I had another drink...i think. as we were leving around 6am, my friend Neal, picks a fight with someone there and invites him outside. Well, as with all these fucking russians, yes, i said it, FUCKING RUSSIANS, they dont know what it is like to be a real man and handle your own problem. So what happens...Six of them come outside to challenge the person who is accompanied by one (me).
Now, my bouncers gave me the nick name "the one hitter quitter" because of my famous 1 punch knockout. But then you have haters and envious people like demanto and others who say "oh, he was so drunk he wouldve fallen on his own" or " he was a small guy" or some other shit like that. Well, i was and am still pissed drunk and let me tell you, i took a shot right to the jaw or face, and it barely fazed me. it wasnt until my friend neal kept asking me if i am ok because i got punched, that i realized that i had been hit. I just laughed it off and if anyone wants to see the conclusion of this fight, please come to Adam;s bar and lounge tonight. I issued him an open challenge, gave him location, address and time to meet me and we can finish this like a man. I made it clear to them and called them out on the fact there were six of them and 2 of us and we still stood our ground and didnt back off. yet when they were down to 3 of them and 2 of us and we once again told them lets do this now, they took off like the little pussy ass motherfucking bitches that they are.
These fucking russians, yeah, i said it again, FUCKING RUSSIANS....they think they are tough when they have you out numbered. But as Neal and I proved, even when they outnumber you, as long as you confront them, they will stick there tails between their legs and around their vaginas, and go running home to liitle odessa or little moscow or wherever the fuck they are from and go home. or if you are fortunate enough, as i have been numerous times in the past, and beat the shit out of one or several of them, as soon as they wake up from getting knocked the fuck out, the first they they do is call 9-11. What a bunch of fucking cocksucking pansies.
Anyway, ive rambled enough about this. I am so praying for them to show up at Adam's Bar & Lounge, 2424 Coney Island Avenue, anytime after 10pm so we can finish this. I will keep everyone update on this story. and next time, ill tell you how i had to pull over about 10 blocks from my house cause i was soooo drunk, i couldnt make it all the way home.
until nxt time....
Jimmy Hustler
www.abcprowrestling.com
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