Gordo, the wizard of id reviews:

LuFisto’s Hardcore Hits No. 1

LuFisto vs Joe Lider – Neon Lights Match

LuFisto vs Tank – Table Match

LuFisto vs Princessa Sugey – Extreme Women Match

LuFisto vs Velvet Jones – Hardcore Challenge Match

LuFisto vs Jason the Terrible vs Scream – Table Death Match

LuFisto vs Guil Reno – Shawinigan Street Fight

LuFisto delivers 6 outstanding matches showcasing the hardcore ultra-violence that helped make her world famous. Hardcore Hits No 1 comes complete with liner notes on the background of each match and is packaged in an attractive durable case. Each DVD comes personally signed as well. Before I begin a detailed description of the contents of LuFisto’s Hardcore Hits, let me sum up my review right now with this simple statement: Buy it! No collection is complete without it. It’s available from the First Lady of Hardcore herself through her website: http://www.lufisto.com/

After a cool little opening graphic, viewers are given a menu selection to choose whatever match they’d like. Of note – this screen has a hardcore LuFisto pose not found on her website. As a kicking Japanese anime soundtrack plays Evolution, by Ayumi Hamasaki, viewers might find it enjoyable just to stare at this for awhile. This menu screen reappears after each match… and what matches indeed!

I started with the Table Death Match: LuFisto vs Scream vs Jason the Terrible - In her liner notes, LuFisto describes this match as originally being a scheduled one on one encounter with Scream and it wasn’t until the announcer called Jason to the ring that it became a 3-way. Fans new to LuFisto and familiar only with her current look, might be shocked to see her make her entrance as a brunette, projecting a sexy image in a black outfit. Her scheduled opponent, Scream, is a solid looking guy with a blonde crew cut. The surprise addition, Jason the Terrible is… well, a big huge guy in a hockey mask, carrying a machete. In other words, he’s Jason the Terrible no matter who he is. Neither Scream nor LuFisto look particularly happy to see him.

As the match begins, the mat is already strewn with thumbtacks. Jason is attacked by both opponents but quickly uses his power to assert himself. LuFisto is the first to taste the tacks. The match is a wild affair that spills out of the ring quickly. All 3 combatants use chairs, kendo sticks and light tubes. Both Scream and LuFisto take the weapons and the fight to Jason, with Scream even breaking the kendo stick over the big man’s head. Jason keeps himself in it because LuFisto and Scream attack each other as much as they assault him. Blood spills and LuFisto, in particular, is a mess.

LuFisto gains a measure of control over both guys with a combination of wrestling moves and weapon shots, but Scream fights back wielding a toilet seat. Soon Jason and Scream take the fight back outside the ring and LuFisto seizes the opportunity to bring in a table, loading it with light tubes. Unfortunately for her, Jason, being the sneak up and getcha kind of monster that he is, had dispatched Scream outside and was now RIGHT BEHIND HER! A huge chokeslam later and LuFisto is lying sprawled and bloodied amid the debris and broken glass. As a victorious Jason the Terrible heads back to Camp Crystal Lake, Scream attacks a still prone LuFisto, battering her with chunks of the table. Finally, a groggy LuFisto, bleeding from a huge gash under her arm, is helped to the back.

This match was a wild and crazy 3-way brawl filled with sick weapon usage and high impact slams. A very hot pro-LuFisto crowd kept vocal throughout and only the savagery at the finish of the match shattered their belief she would win as surely as her body shattered the light tube covered table.

Hardcore Challenge Match: LuFisto vs Velvet Jones – In her liner notes about this match, LuFisto describes herself as a “pissed off bitch.” Incensed over a friend’s betrayal, she offered the challenge to fight anyone. Soulman Velvet Jones took her up on it. Jones is a cocky guy and obviously thought he’d have little trouble with a woman in the ring. Maybe that’s why he ran his mouth and slapped LuFisto in the face at the start. She responded with a slap of her own and within seconds, Jones was put on the mat from a series of elbows and kicks before a running knee to the face knocked him into strangeland. LuFisto headed outside and began throwing plunder into the ring as the crowd cheered her on.

Back inside she continued the attack until Jones was able to sucker her into the turnbuckles and choke her with a broom. Gaining the edge, his arrogant attitude returned and he taunted the fans while working LuFisto over. Adding weapons to his wrestling moves, Jones busted LuFisto open and laid a verbal smackdown on her as well as a physical beating. His arrogance proved his undoing as LuFisto reversed a whip and nailed him with a powerslam.

The crowd was wild as LuFisto used a rope to whip Jones, who managed only a brief rally before a German suplex onto a garbage can had him rocked again. In a sick looking spot, LuFisto put a lampshade on his head and kicked him square in the face. The action spilled outside and The First Lady of Hardcore pressed her advantage. Perhaps in retaliation for all his trash-talking earlier in the match, LuFisto humiliated Jones by rubbing a hotdog into his face. He spent the remainder of the match wearing a blood and mustard mask.

LuFisto tossed a ladder into the ring and took the action back inside. Jones suffered some more punishment but managed to reverse a LuFisto whip attempt and toss her face first into the ladder. A bodyslam onto the ladder followed by a big splash saw him get a 2 count. With LuFisto down, Jones scattered tacks on the mat and mounted the corner ropes. LuFisto met him there and a double underhook suplex from the top sent Jones onto the tacks.

Moments later it was LuFisto feeling the pain as a Jones spinebuster planted her on a bunch of light tubes. Kicking out at 2, LuFisto recovered as Jones dumped a huge pile of tubes in the ring. A struggle for advantage saw LuFisto gain the edge and the fans erupted in cheers when Jones was driven head first through the glass to the mat. A 3 count later and a victorious LuFisto used the broom to sweep Velvet from the ring.

Very fast paced and hard hitting match. Lots of weapons and the advantage constantly switching had fans on the edge of their seats. LuFisto’s victory over the cocky Jones was one for the good guys! Uh… girls.

Shawinigan Street Fight: LuFisto vs Guil Reno – Her liner notes set the stage for this revenge match between heated rivals. (Id’s note – LuFisto has a cool promo video for this match posted on her site. Check it out!) Held in a bar, with the crowd sitting almost in the ring, this match exploded before the bell even rang. Both combatants took turns wailing on each other with scattered weapons. LuFisto nailed Reno in the nutsack with a bowling ball but the Shawinigan Sadist came right back at her with a blistering Kendo stick attack. LuFisto destroyed a guitar over Reno’s head and tried for a quick pin to no avail. Frustrated, the hardcore anime laid into him with some HUGE chops. (Man, that girl can really smoke those chops!) Reno fought back and trapped LuFisto in a submission attempt but there was no way she was giving up.

The action spilled outside the ring and the two brawled around the crowded bar. The camera crew had a hard time following the action and the light wasn’t working, so much of the view is too dark to follow the action. Only the cheering crowd and the sound of battle give viewers an idea of the intensity of the fight. When the action returned to the ring, Reno was in solid control and he taunted the pro-LuFisto audience as he pounded the bloodied woman with a garbage can.

LuFisto rallied after Reno smashed away at her cut and once again took control of the fight. High impact slams and a vicious striking attack failed to put Reno away so she fired him into the corner where, after scaling the ropes, she delivered a wicked kick to the head. Her following lariat off the ropes put Reno down and she headed outside for a table. Reno caught her coming back into the ring but she would not be denied and a slam from the top rope saw Reno smashed through the table. Continuing her assault, LuFisto broke a heavy stick over his back and hung him in the tree of woe before delivering a brutal running dropkick with a chair to his face.

LuFisto dumped tacks on the mat but Reno surprised her with a quick roll-up slam for a 2 on the tacks. LuFisto responded with a suplex and a pin attempt of her own before they fought on the mat amid the tacks. Reno gained the edge by grinding LuFisto’s head into the tacks and once again took the fight out of the ring. Reno kept control outside and despite a brief rally by LuFisto upon re-entering the debris strew ring, he kept up the attack, using a garbage can lid to hammer LuFisto unmercifully.

A desperation DDT by LuFisto gave her opportunity to exit the ring to regroup. Upon her return she brought even more weapons with her, this time light tubes. Smashing a tube over a prone Reno, LuFisto set up a table and covered it with tubes. Dragging Reno into the corner she laid into him with some more heavy chops and at the crowds urging stripped him of his shirt. LuFisto mounted the top rope but a desperate Reno threw a handful of powder into her face. Blinded, she was easy pickings and Reno capitalized with a sick powerbomb through the light tube covered table and the win!

LuFisto tells me this match was one of the most requested by fans for inclusion to the DVD and I can see why. It’s an incredible exhibition of hatred and brutality. Both Reno and LuFisto demonstrated a willingness to inflict and receive pain that is nothing short of amazing! And it’s not a garbage match by any means. Everything they did from the brutal weapons usage, to the hard-hitting strong-style striking attacks, to the scientific wrestling techniques, was served with a purpose and focus on winning. Each offensive series and pin attempt had the crowd enthralled. Only the dark screen during some of the more far ranging brawling outside the ring stopped this from being perfect. The history of the feud as outlined by LuFisto in her liner notes and the sheer intensity of the encounter more than made up for that little glitch. Just a fucking awesome match!

Neon Lights Match: LuFisto vs Joe Lider – June 18, 2005, LuFisto entered a Nueva Generacion Xtrema ring to face Mexican Triple Champion, Joe Lider, in Mexico’s first ever inter-gender light match. The resulting battle was nothing short of mind-boggling! In her liner notes, the First Lady of Hardcore calls this the hardcore match she is most proud of… and with good reason. It is impossible to watch this match without being amazed at her capacity to give and receive punishment. This match, contested in front of (and among) a rabid thong of Mexican fans deserves recognition as one of the greatest hardcore matches of all time. I shit you not.

Surrounded by barbed-wire covered ropes, Lider waited patiently as LuFisto greeted the fans. At the bell he slapped her face in response to her offered handshake and it was on. After an exchange of off the ropes body blocks, LuFisto used a head-scissor takedown to put Lider on the mat where she laid in her famous kicks and worked his neck. Lider fought back with a pedigree but a reversed whip saw him eat a chair in the corner. A running dropkick by LuFisto again introduced him to the chair. LuFisto used a heavy chunk of wood, wrapped in barbed-wire to punish Lider before a mid-ring ‘rana put him down for a 2.

Indifferent to the chants of the pro-LuFisto crowd, Lider rallied and a sit-out powerbomb onto the barbed-wire earned him a 2 count of his own. Lider hoisted LuFisto up onto the corner but got caught with another ‘rana into the ring. With Lider dazed in the corner, LuFisto stacked light tubes over him and used her own body to smash them against him. Lider again fought back for control and draped the woman warrior in the tree of woe. LuFisto was helpless to stop Lider from covering her in tubes and a sick springboard dropkick off a chair sent then crashing into her gut. Somehow, she kicked out of the pin attempt.

With LuFisto still reeling, Lider set up more tubes between chairs and delivered some big chops in the corner. His attempted suplex from the ropes was blocked and LuFisto delivered some stinging elbow strikes before sending the Triple Champ through his own construction project. Both fighters were pouring blood at this point and continued to trade the advantage and pin attempts. In one very sick move, Lider drove LuFisto from atop his shoulders, head-first onto the glass-strewn mat. LuFisto ate more tubes when whipped into the corner but Lider missed the follow-up attack and Lider found himself breaking more glass.

With the crowd cheering her on, a bloody LuFisto rallied with chops, kicks and a neck stretch but her legdrop failed to get the pin. Taking the action outside, LuFisto nailed a beautiful ‘rana off the ropes to the concrete floor. Brawling through the crowd they tore into each other and the bigger, more powerful Lider gained the edge, battering LuFisto down. He missed a twisting senton from the apron and splattered himself on the concrete. This gave LuFisto chance to rally and the battle climbed to the apron. LuFisto looked to be trying a tornado DDT from the top turnbuckle but Lider blocked the attempt and trapped her against the ropes. Seconds later he delivered a Spanish Fly from the apron, which sent LuFisto crashing through light tubes to the concrete. Rolling her into the ring, Lider covered her for the 3 count and the win. After the match, the two shook hands and embraced as fans cheered the efforts of both combatants.

Words don’t do this match justice. It has to be seen. An absolute bloodbath of epic proportions filled with near falls, brutal attacks and sick bumps. Indeed, the Spanish Fly that sent LuFisto through light tubes to the floor is perhaps the sickest bump I’ve ever seen a woman take. (And I’ve seen this woman take some very sick bumps!) Replays of some of the more outstanding moves take place immediately following them, which only serves to further demonstrate the levels of violence and intensity they brought to this encounter. I watch a lot of wrestling. I mean a lot! Seldom are there matches I watch more than once. Rare indeed, are matches I never tire of and watch multiple times – Steamboat/Savage, Tiger Mask/Dynamite Kid – matches that enthrall me time and again. LuFisto vs Lider is one of those matches.

Extreme Women Match: LuFisto vs Princessa Sugey – Another offering from the rings on Mexican fed NGX, this match against Princessa Sugey is another hidden gem fans need to see. Sugey is an incredibly tough grappler and skilled enough to match anyone move for move. As it turned out, she was also savage enough to give even LuFisto a run for her money. At the start of the match the women entered a basic collar and elbow stance and teased pushing each other into the barbed-wire ropes. Sugey broke the stalemate with some quick armdrags and kicks, ending with a very stiff boot to LuFisto’s head. Pressing the advantage, Sugey hung LuFisto in the corner and worked her over with a large metal tray. Her following running dropkick missed the tray and LuFisto’s chest and throat took the full force of the blow.

As LuFisto lay crumpled on the mat, Sugey went outside and started tossing chairs and a garbage can into the ring, many of them landing on a hapless LuFisto as she struggled to crawl clear of the barrage of objects. Climbing back in the ring, Sugey smashed a light tube over LuFisto’s head which served to enrage the Quebec native. Using a garbage can lid, LuFisto battled back and tried for a pin using a suplex and bridge. When that failed she planted Sugey with a sit-out powerbomb onto light tubes. Heavy elbows and a running face stomp in the corner followed by a suplex onto the garbage can had Sugey reeling.

A desperation shot with a light tube and a flip into the barbed-wire ropes gave Sugey control again and she unleashed an intensive counter attack which included a wicked garbage can smash, big knee strikes and a slam onto more tubes. LuFisto escaped the pin and the action spilled outside the ring. Trading blows outside, they battled around the ring and LuFisto’s power saw her take control of the brawl. A suplex onto the concrete rocked Sugey and LuFisto continued the assault with kicks, punches and a smash into the post before rolling the masked woman back into the ring.

Far from out of it, Sugey caught LuFisto coming in with another tube shot and laid her out with a brutal chair shot. With her opponent down, Sugey collected pieces of broken light tubes into a pile, pausing only to lay in some kicks. LuFisto fought back but a drop toe hold planted her onto a chair, giving Sugey time to leave the ring in search of more tubes. She returned with perhaps the longest light tubes on Earth. A big boot to LuFisto’s head kept her down long enough for Sugey to build a bridge of tubes between chairs, saving one to smash over the bloody LuFisto’s back.

After delivering more stiff kicks to her opponent’s head, Sugey mounted the ropes but LuFisto met her on top. A struggle for control saw LuFisto come out on top and she delivered a beautiful double underhook suplex from the corner that sent Sugey crashing through the tubes. The crowd was wild and LuFisto shocked when Sugey kicked out of the following pin attempt. Now it was LuFisto’s turn to bring tubes into the ring and the two women once again fought to gain an advantage. Just when it looked like Sugey was getting the upper hand LuFisto surprised her with a DDT onto the tubes and this time Sugey didn’t kick out. A handshake and show of respect followed as both fighters stood in the ring together and accepted the cheers of an appreciative audience.

From bell to bell this match was an exciting exhibition of technical skills, heavy hitting and weapons usage. Sugey is an amazing performer and she controlled much of the fight. LuFisto, renowned for her kicks and striking attacks, met her equal in Sugey, as she was the one who got pummeled by strikes throughout the match. LuFisto’s trademark precision attack using weapons was overwhelmed by Sugey’s wild, but effective, brawling. It was only LuFisto’s power advantage and surprise DDT that carried her to victory. This was a thrilling match between two of the world’s best women wrestlers that had the crowd on their feet throughout.

Table Match: LuFisto vs Tank – Thanks to the DVD’s menu feature, I was able to save this match for last. Seeing the 300+ lb Tank take on the 5’3” LuFisto in a Table Match from NWA Quebec just seemed like the perfect “Main Event.” According to her liner notes, LuFisto was the one who asked for this match after Tank had gotten involved in some of her matches; which proves she is as crazy as she is beautiful. Right from the onset, LuFisto took the fight to her much bigger foe, laying in chops and bringing him to the mat with kicks. Wrapping herself around him, she began biting his arm while controlling him on the mat.

Tank easily reversed a whip into the ropes but LuFisto ran under his lariat attempt and countered a slam attempt with a head-scissor takedown. Tank finally capitalized on a LuFisto mistake and dropped a huge leg across her gut. As LuFisto writhed on the mat, Tank brought a table into the ring, leaning it against the corner ropes. LuFisto avoided a whip into the table and Tank missed a running splash into the opposite corner. To the surreal accompaniment of the crowd singing “Bohemian Rhapsody” LuFisto again laid into Tank with her trademark kicks. Catching LuFisto after she set up the table, Tank planted her with a sit-out slam. Tank taunted the crowd, threatening to “break her neck” before knocking the referee senseless with a clubbing blow. An over confident Tank was surprised on the corner ropes by his diminutive opponent and found himself smashed through the table but the ref was still out of it and the match continued.

Both fighters were slow to rise and to the cheers of a very hot crowd, entered into an exchange of blistering chops. Once again Tank shrugged off LuFisto’s attempt to whip him into the ropes and delivered a huge slam which left her prone on the mat. Tank exited the ring and set up a table on the outside. Turning to the ring he was hit by a recovered LuFisto’s baseball slide which drove a chair into his face. Launching herself from the apron, LuFisto drove Tank to the floor where she laid in a series of chair shots before setting up another table beside the first one.

Rolling the big man back into the ring, LuFisto scaled the ropes but once on top she was halted by the run-in interference of someone else. (I don’t know who it was) This gave Tank time to recover and he too climbed the ropes. After a brief struggle on the top rope, Tank grabbed LuFisto and delivered his Tankster through the tables on the floor for the win!

The final footage is of a fallen LuFisto, laying half dead amidst the remnants of shattered wood. Strangely, she looks incredibly beautiful to me at that moment. Perhaps it is a vision inspired by her amazing courage and ability, displayed throughout the matches on this DVD. Maybe I have become enamored because she is willing to take such extreme risks and punishment for the sake of bringing joy and excitement to her fans. Perhaps her athleticism and skills create an aura of wonderment and awe that manifests itself in appreciation of her physical appearance. Maybe it’s because LuFisto looks so damn hot all the time that, even laying half dead on a shattered table, she is a feast for the eyes. Or maybe, just maybe, I’m a little bit weird.

Wizard wrap-up: Buy this DVD! You won’t be disappointed. The First Lady of Hardcore earned that nickname for a reason and that reason is displayed in each and every match. Her inclusion of liner notes really adds to the viewing pleasure by giving details and background on each match. They also help to identify the participants, as many of the ring introductions are in Spanish and French. There is no commentary but none is needed and it’s a refreshing change to view the action with nothing but the accompaniment of an appreciative audience and the sounds of battle. You can purchase LuFisto’s Hardcore Hits No 1 by visiting http://www.lufisto.com/

You can contact the wizard of id at zapflash@sympatico.ca