Gordo, the wizard of id Reviews: The DOI Frank Goodman Shoot Interview

Greetings and welcome to another installment in the wizard of id's unbroken chain of DOI shoot interview reviews. Faithful readers know I have committed myself to covering, in depth, each and every DOI release. If you haven't seen any of the previous shoots with Ref Hanson, Carmine Sabia and Kevin Kelly be sure to check out my links on the "Contact Us" page to see what you've missed. Now I know some of you are thinking "Hey, wait a minute... Ref Hanson review - check. Kevin Kelly review - check. But where is the wizard's review of the Sabia shoot?" Before anyone starts jumping on my dick about missing a review let me state right now, for the record: I DID review the DOI Carmine Sabia shoot interview! (And a damn fine review it was too.) It's not MY fault that the fucking thing wouldn't leave the house!

The fourth release in the groundbreaking DOI Shoot Interview series is with the resident bad boy of NE Independent Wrestling, FRANK GOODMAN! The two disc set was filmed on two dates, each prior to UXW shows. Part 1 was taped 9/24/05 and Part 2 on 11/26/05. In both cases the interview takes place in the UXW arena as people off camera ready the ring and seating for that night’s card. Sean the Mic once again throws the questions and in a switch from previous interviews, a motley collection of UXW associates and others act as Goodman’s personal audience providing ready fodder for him to verbally anal rape throughout the interview. Ladies and gentlemen leave your sensitivities and good taste locked in the car because… Frank Goodman’s in da house!

The interview begins like a lot of Danny Demanto matches – with a botched spot as Frank misses The Mic’s opening introduction but it gets rolling quickly after that. Apparently, Frank’s famous alter-ego, The Masked Maniac is unable to make an appearance due to a bad rash.

Goodman describes his introduction to wrestling in 1979 at age 14 but says he “wasn’t enthralled with it like these other idiots.” It wasn’t until ’81 when he saw Jimmy Snuka against Ray Stevens that he really started getting into it. Frank cites Snuka and Superstar Billy Graham as his biggest influences and briefly talks about using the same Karate supply store as Graham until he gets sidetracked by recalling the “chink and gook” street signs in the area. Goodman says he thought wrestling was real until he attended a closed circuit PPV at MSG that saw the winner’s names scroll down the big screen before the card even started. (The WWF – breaking Kayfabe before it was cool!)

Goodman talks about getting into the biz by selling wrestling T-shirts and meeting Paul Heyman. He mentions working ring crew with Mick Foley and wrestling his first match as Randy Hawk – a name given him by Heyman. (Which I guess demonstrates that Heyman wasn’t always a genius!)

Frank describes his career in Body Building, his brush with Major League Baseball and his Shoot Fighting skills before talking about Indy wrestling. Goodman is interrupted while talking about his own skills as a wrestler by Joey Image who becomes the first of Frank’s victims. “…he didn’t do the right thing” Goodman says in an aside to the camera after sending Image on his way. Goodman describes himself as an accomplished wrestler in that he can do everything from an “armbar to the penis hold” but he was “nothing special.” He talks about The Masked Maniac being created because Bill Eadie (Masked Superstar) had a bunch of brand new masks that were too small so Frank bought them. Goodman is pretty honest about his in-ring career saying he had maybe 2 good years out of the whole 21. During this he received two phone calls from Anthony Deblasi and in another aside directly to the viewer says “We call him Neckfat.”

"I saved Indy wrestling in New York!" a modest Goodman declares during the segment that sees him describe his first show and the birth of USAPro. Frank talks about other promoters burning buildings and losing the trust of fans. This leads into the first of many rips on Jac Sabboth and a very interesting story about the Metal Maniac "begging me not to kick his ass" and Frank's house being burglarized.

Frank talks about his first impressions on meeting Billy Firehawk - "If he lost a 100 pounds he'd look like Abdullah the Butcher!" and describes Firehawk's match against Pitbull Duke Snyder as the "worst match ever." Frank also relates a story about Bodyguard For Hire saying there not a finer man in the business. It's while talking about BFH's kid, Mike Kruel that Goodman is interrupted by another call, this one from Rob Feinstein who is, as Frank puts it, "really not a homosexual even though he's had sex with men." (I don't know about you but that seals it for me! I’m NEVER going camping with either of those guys!)

Goodman launches into a lengthy discussion of former USAPro wrestlers and champions pausing once to call The MiC a "fucking idiot" and the camera crew "fucking morons". He talks a lot about Tito Santana and the abortion of a match Tito had with Rocco Rock that caused Frank to never use him again, even though Tito had been USAPro Champ for almost 4 years. Goodman also discusses Sgt Slaughter at length and admits to using ticket sellers from the first day he started promoting. Frank reveals that it is not necessary to offer to suck his penis to get on one of his shows. It's about this time, by pure coincidence I'm sure, that Rob Feinstein shows up.

Frank then talks about throwing Eric Simms out of his building the first time he ever met him and rips on some guy named Eric Rosen. "Who the FUCK is Eric Rosen?" Goodman buries Jonathan Gould (sp?) for being the cause behind the WWE ceasing the practice of third party booking and spends time tearing apart Jac Sabboth's booking and business practices. He also explains the origin of his lisp - a result of losing some teeth in a shoot fight. A real shoot fight mind you, not a "Danny Demanto rolling on the floor with a hard-on street fight."

The Mic leads Goodman through a detailed segment that sees him tear into Sabboth and Damian Dragon but give major props to Manny Fernandez, who Franks says was one of the toughest guys he ever met. Goodman also discusses Ken Sweeney at length and says they had over 60 matches against each other.

Goodman then announces that he is “The Big Daddy Cool of fake posting” and proceeds to poll those in attendance about whether they had ever heard of fake posting on message boards before he started. Frank says he has limits and claims to never use the “N word” or reveal information about people’s personal lives. Goodman hauls Bison Bravado into view, introducing him as “Vinnie the Chink” and using him as a prop, gives examples of things he would and wouldn’t say in a fake post. (NEVER fake post it on a message board but okay to say it in a shoot interview, eh Frank?) Goodman also accuses Jac Sabboth and others of fake posting about themselves. Somewhere in all this, Billy Gunn and Rhino make cameo appearances and Goodman proves himself to be an obvious mark for ex WWE stars by not verbally anal raping them.

Frank talks about first meeting Homicide and throwing his gangsta ass out of the locker room and tells lots of stories about The Hit Squad, The Doghouse, Matt Stryker, Prince Nana and others, peppering some with wicked put-downs while heaping praise on a few. He even verbally kisses a couple of people before subjecting them to a patented Frank Goodman verbal anal rape!

When The Mic asks about Chris Candido, Goodman gets serious for a moment as he discusses the low points in Candido’s career. He rips into “carnival jerk-off” Joe Panzarino for using Chris’ death to make a quick buck and talks about Tammy’s issues. Goodman then gives opinions on a number of other stars like Bigalow, the SAT, The Road Warriors, Amazing Red and even verbally anal rapes a building! Frank talks about being the first promoter to showcase the Low Ki / Xavier feud and says “Less people saw that feud at Jac’s shows than took a shit at my show!”

Although Goodman claims he’s never taken drugs, ripping on Jac Sabboth appears to be his crack cocaine. He just can’t quit once he takes a hit! Totally hijacking the interview to feed this addiction, Frank drags Eddie Guapo, Ken Sweeney and Danny Demanto one by one in front of the camera and grills them about their business dealings and relationships with Sabboth. Demanto in particular, takes some heat about hanging out with a man in his 30s when he was only 13. As viewers will see, Danny defends himself verbally about as well as he performs over-the-top-rope hog splashes! His big finish in this verbal sparring match – “I was legal when I got stabbed in the leg” was about as effective as a WWE punch and Goodman no-sold it anyway.

Part 1 of the Goodman shoot ends with Frank relating a story about a $500 check Sabboth bounced to a current TNA superstar. By this time, you’re going to NEED a break because your ribs and gut will be sore from all the laughing you’ve done!

Part 2 opens with Frank once again seated in the UXW arena. He looks a little different this time as his hair is now a spiked blond, which he explains is the result of a minor urinary mishap. Yep, round two with Goodman is just as crazy as the first one! Crazier, in fact. Some of the same ground he covered in Part 1 is covered again but this time, instead of using a jeep, Goodman's driving a tank!

The Mic, always the serious journalist in search of thoughtful, relevant stories, opens the discussion with questions about Jac Sabboth. He might as well have poured gasoline on a fire as Goodman launches the viewer again on an exploratory journey through the world of Jac Sabboth, with himself as the tour guide. Along the way he manages to trash Mike Johnson, Damian Dragon, “faggot ticket sellers” and also takes a shot at April Hunter and message boards. Goodman relates stories, legends and urban myths about Sabboth concerning pigeons, dead hamsters, urine and feces in Sabboth’s store and Jac’s reputation for stiffing people and bouncing checks.

Goodman does not bury Sabboth completely… just up to his neck, so he can still kick verbal rocks at him. He calls him a “nice guy” and describes Jac as “generous” for giving free stuff to Frank’s kid. I’d be surprised if even Sabboth could watch this segment without laughing. Getting verbally anal raped by Frank Goodman is like getting the shit kicked out of you by a circus clown. Yea, it may hurt, but you’ve just got to laugh! The Mic, never one to shy away from the tough questions, then asks Goodman to give his thoughts on another NE Indy legend, Billy Firehawk. As you can imagine, what follows is more fun than whipping out a quart of Mazola Oil and a double-headed dildo in a roomful of nuns. Goodman begins relatively calmly by talking about how he would get guys a good payday from Firehawk and in return they would work cheaper for him. Once he gets into the so called war between them, Goodman is Saturday Night Live, the 3 Stooges and Jim Carey on acid all rolled into one!

Frank says Firehawk started it all with a column he wrote and he in return “laid the smack down on this piece of shit.” Goodman defends his actions by saying when you pick a fight with someone, you don’t get to pick the size of the fight. Firehawk picked a small fight and Goodman responded with a big one. He calls Firehawk a “complete idiot” and a “fat fuck” and describes the set-up that got D-Lo Brown double his normal fee.

Goodman comments on Cyberspace employees too, calling Derek Gordon an “okay guy” and Dave Levy “loyal.” He talks about the Maniac Hotline and says it’s the people who come on it, including Firehawk, who stir up shit, not him. Goodman leaves no stone (or dominatrix) unturned and even calls over some fan that’s been setting up ringside chairs for the show, grilling him about Cyberspace, demanding to know if he ever paid to get into an NWA-CS show or whether he just walks right in. The fan admits he never buys a ticket to watch Cyberspace. Goodman sends him back to work and exclaims “he’ll buy a ticket for this show.” This Firehawk segment alone is worth buying the DVD to see. I laughed so much and so hard I just about had my own urinary mishap.

Goodman gives props to JAPW even though “he’s never seen it” and discusses his relationship with Fat Frank and Ray Sager. He also talks about his partnership with Rob Feinstein and how he “went berserk” when the PJ shit hit the fan. He has some very interesting things to say about the aftermath and fallout of Rob’s situation and admits it “wasn’t my business to open my mouth.” He talks about the differences between Gabe and Rob and details a talent exchange issue between himself, Gabe and JAPW. Oh yea, and somewhere in all that, he rips Azrieal a new one.

The Mic starts naming ticket sellers and once again Goodman reacts with comedic gold offering opinions, put-downs and outrageous comments on a number of wannabe wrestling stars. He manages to crack up just about everyone around him and at one point drags Brian Wittenstein into view to grill him about the number of “colored people” that sleep over at his house. Goodman even takes over as interviewer as he turns the camera on The Mic, Kevin Kelly and Bison Bravado asking them about the “Squirter.” Brian is hauled back in front of the camera and Goodman demands answers about the Brian “stories.” All this segment needs is someone to get hit in the face with a pie!

Regaining a measure of control over the interview, The Mic gets Goodman reined in a bit by discussing Chris Candido. Frank supplies a lot of details about their relationship and talks freely about the locker room incident between them. He soon ramps up to warp speed again when talking about that “carnival jerk” Joe Panzarino and Candido memorial shows. Very interesting comments about the way he and others handled the death of Candido and a lot of what he says validates the comments Ref Hanson made in his DOI shoot. Goodman has nothing good to say about promoters who profited from Eddie Guerrero tribute shows just because he worked for them once or twice.

Talk then turns to NYWC which Goodman prefaces by saying he has “no idea what that stands for.” He describes the true relationship between him and John Curse saying he’s done them lots of favors. Frank doesn’t think much of NYWC’s product but admits the Psycho Circus match was a good idea. He compares their shows to his own and offers very candid thoughts on Mikey Whipwreck and Billy Reil. Talking about Reil and the many hero stories leads Goodman to reveal his own story about saving a kid. This segment proves to be the proverbial lull before the storm because…

The topic then switches to April Hunter, Slyk Wagner Brown and message board fake posting. Goodman freely admits “I’m the founder of fake posting on message boards!” and launches into the details of the heat between him, April and SWB. The whole thing comes across as a bizarre fun-house mirror look at the wrestling business in general. I’d try to explain it but I’m afraid my head would explode in the attempt. You have to hear this for yourself!

Goodman follows that with a quick verbal anal raping of SWB for refusing to job to Kevin Mathews in JAPW exclaiming “When a promoter says you lose – you lose.” This leads into a segment where Frank talks about a couple of guys who he thinks are not promoters, even if they think otherwise. First up is Steve Corino who Goodman says is a “good father” but not the most responsible guy in the world. Frank says they’ve patched up their differences and details the complex story behind the issues between them. He then discusses Eric Simms, describing him as “a vendor who books talent.” After burying Simms, Goodman shocks the world by revealing that Kevin Kelly is “The Urinator”!!! (I’m sure Kevin was shocked to find that out.)

The final segment sees Goodman give his opinion on the biggest misconception people have about him. He also firmly states: “I have never, ever, fucked anybody over!” Then he launches into a side-splitting monologue about a woman’s obligations to her man and the many signs that indicate YOU may be a fag! Roll credits… die laughing.

++++++

Wizard Wrap-up: This is not only the funniest DOI shoot I’ve seen, it’s one of the funniest interviews of ANY kind I’ve had the pleasure of watching. You don’t have to be a fan of the NE indies or even a fan of wrestling, to enjoy Frank Goodman’s outrageous style of story telling. This shoot would be as much at home on The Comedy Network as it would in a wrestling fan’s DVD player. I give it 5 out of 5 Urinary Mishaps.

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