Gordo, the wizard of id, Reviews
PRO WRESTLING XTREME
Apr 22/06 Cherry Bomb Nightclub, Ingersoll, Ontario
Tickets: $10 adv. $12 at the door
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The Advertised Card:
Hardcore Title –
Fans Bring The Weapons Match
“Wild Thing” Willy Allen (C) vs
Jessy Jones
Portia Perez vs Misty Haven
Bar Title Match
The Hickster (C) vs Jayson
Chambers
Michael Elgin vs ???
She Nay Nay vs Danyah
Hardcore Match
Buck 10 vs Ty Prattis
The Venue:
The Cherry Bomb Nightclub sits nestled in a long strip-mall type of structure. The
Room housing the event sides off the side of the main bar and had its own mini
bar service which made things convenient for the fans old enough to imbibe. (It
was an all ages show.) Soft drinks, snacks and hot pizza were also available.
The ceiling was low and I-Beams and lights meant that the high flyers on the
card had to be careful when coming off the ropes. As well, various booths and
railings in close proximity to the ring offered many chances of impalement when
the action spilled out of the ring. PWX had a merchandise table set up at the
door and I saw a few fans picking up $5 DVDs of previous shows. The sound
system and bell ringer were set up along a back wall and it was from that
“shitty seat” that live match commentator, Jimmy
James, provided the blow by blow action. His outrageous exaggerations and
observations throughout the show provided many hilarious moments. That was the
first time I’ve been to a show with live match commentary and I thoroughly
enjoyed his contributions to the evening’s entertainment. Although small
(16’X16’) the ring dominated the room and the intimate environment gave everyone
(but Jimmy James) a great view and hecklers anywhere in the room could be heard
by the wrestlers. Referees: AJ Parr
& Jeff the Ref
Pre Show:
As usual, the lovely Mrs Id and I
arrived early and were greeted by PWX promoter Jay McDonald. He was quick to inform me of the changes in the night’s
line-up: Michael Elgin’s wisdom teeth took him off the card so his match was
replaced with Michael Von Payton vs
Darksoul. She Nay Nay (sick) and Danyah were off the card too which was a
disappointment to a ladies mark like me but The Independent Soldier vs Rahim Ali, the Prince of Persia was a suitable replacement. Jay’s a great guy and
was nice enough to grant me complete access to the venue and stars of PWX.
After securing Mrs Id her first of many alcoholic beverages, I spent the rest
of the time before the show gas-bagging with members of the crew and the always
approachable stars of Ontario Indy Wrestling. The improvised locker room was a
lounge area off the main bar, hidden from view by a large tarp, which meant the
wrestlers had to cross the bar to enter the ring area. I had the pleasure of
spending a few minutes with Portia Perez and Misty Haven; two very lovely and
delightful young women. To her credit, Portia, who was alone in the room when I
walked in, didn’t freak out like other women have in the past at the site of
this bald, tattooed, scarred up old wizard and proved to be not at all like her
cocky, ring brat character. Misty Haven is simply one of the nicest people in
the business. After greeting a few more of the arriving wrestlers, I returned
to the ring area to join Mrs Id and the rest of the fans, pausing to check out
some of the weapons brought by the fans, one of which was a large frozen fish!
Hardcore Match: Ty
Prattis vs Buck 10 w/Sam Allen – Buck 10’s manager Sam ‘Chameleon’ Alan led his charge to the ring and
immediately began berating the fans and the town of Ingersoll. After suitably riling everyone in the building,
he gave the stick to Buck who proceeded to give a profanity laced tour of the room,
pointing out all the spots he did big moves from the last time PWX was in town.
All this did was demonstrate that his ego weighs more than he does. Ty Prattis
made his entrance to cheers and applause but, after the performance of Buck and
Allen, Charlie Manson would have received a hero’s welcome. The match started
with some fast back and forth of armbars and such. After splitting up and
running the ropes, Buck caught Prattis and dumped him on the ropes before
hitting his BTO (Buck 10 Overdrive) an over the top rope neck stretch. Buck
delivered a beautiful tilt-a-whirl slam but Prattis came right back with a head
scissor take-down and slam of his own. Prattis then hit one of the most
beautiful dropkicks I’ve ever seen to Buck’s chin, much to the delight of the
crowd who had been ragging Buck since he showed up. After some stalling on the
outside, Buck took control of the action and Allen interfered to further give
his man the edge. Taking it to the floor, Buck rammed Prattis back first into
the post and nailed a sidewalk slam to the floor for a 2. Back inside, Prattis
fell to a suplex but countered a crucifix and slammed Buck to the mat. A top
rope legdrop, described by commentator Jimmy James as coming from “at least 75
feet up there” hit its mark and a vertical suplex after that gave Prattis the 3
count. Or did it? Allen entered the ring and raked Prattis’ eyes while Buck
grabbed the official. Fearful of a beating, the ref reversed his decision and
the match continued. While Buck kicked Prattis from the ring, Allen grabbed a
fan at ringside and ran his head into the ringpost before stealing his chair.
Buck sent Prattis into the post as well, allowing the Chameleon time to set up
a ladder on two chairs. (The second of which was offered freely by a fan with
no desire to taste the steel post) Allen beat on Prattis and held him on the
ladder for Buck’s big dive off the top of the corner ropes. Instead of going
for the pin, Buck sat in the back row of fans and drank a quick beer. Prattis
took the opportunity to recover and pounded away on Allen at ringside. Prattis
and Buck eventually met up on the corner ropes and struggled for advantage.
With Prattis looking to hook in for a superplex, Allen entered the ring and
powerbombed him to the mat with Buck along for the ride. This time the 3 count
stuck and the bad guys celebrated their victory much to the distaste of the
crowd.
A very fast paced opener
(almost too fast) full of skullduggery, insane high spots, good mat action and
an assault on a fan gave the Ingersoll crowd something to get vocal about. The
show was definitely ON!
Independent Soldier vs Rahim
Ali, the Prince of Persia – No doubt about who the bad guy was in this one.
You put a guy in a turban anywhere in Ontario, besides Brampton, and he’s gonna get a hard time from the fans. The
fact that Ali runs his mouth non-stop only further reinforces his heel status.
Independent Soldier (who I will now refer to only as ‘IS’ because I’d like to
finish typing this before the snow falls) is a large muscular fellow covered in
tattoos. He completely overwhelmed the smaller Ali at the start with a stiff
high-impact attack. Ali managed to get his knees up to counter an over the top
diving splash and locked in a camel clutch. Still running his mouth, Ali choked
IS on the ropes but missed a running knee. Seconds later IS hit a sick over the
top knee to Ali’s head for the first 2 count of the match. There would be many
more to follow as the advantage switched back and forth for the next 6 or 7
minutes. IS continued his high impact striking and Ali countered with dirty
tricks and mat wrestling, occasionally breaking out his speed to deliver
running knee strikes. Ali started to gain an edge and a sleeper, followed by a
DDT had IS almost done. Ali’s mouth proved to be his undoing as he paused in
the middle of a piledriver set-up to once again jaw with the crowd. IS took the
opportunity to slip from the move and surprise the cocky Prince with a Death
Valley Driver to get the pinfall. IS was quick to return to the dressing room but
Ali remained in the ring proclaiming his greatness and inviting fans to get it
the ring “Who will fight me?”
This was a good match and
these guys complimented each other well. Considering it was booked as a last
minute substitution, I’m surprised it worked as well as it did. Ali and his
vocal histrionics had a lot to do with that. Even if he wasn’t a Middle Eastern
bad guy, his mouth alone would guarantee everyone within earshot would hate his
guts. Soldier plays a no-nonsense, straight ahead fighter and looks the part.
Imagine a slightly slimmer WifeBeater who can actually wrestle. He doesn’t say
much; in fact, I don’t think he said a word the whole time he was out there but
between match commentator James and the Prince of Persia, I don’t think he had
ever had the chance, even if he did have something to say.
DarkSoul vs Michael Von Payton (MVP) – Another match substitution that saw MVP in the
role of good guy for a change. DarkSoul is a large Goth themed brawler with
bizarre face paint and the crowd was on his case from the moment he arrived.
After an initial feeling out process, MVP gained solid control with his
technical skills. Very smooth wrestling, punctuated with a stiff striking
attack, had DarkSoul on the defensive for much of the early action. MVP nailed
an over the top legdrop for a 2 and followed up with more elbows, punches and
kicks. DarkSoul reversed a whip but MVP got his foot up then delivered a
neckbreaker for another 2. DarkSoul finally connected with a kick to the nuts
and a brutal lariat before settling in to a blatant choke. For the next few
minutes it was all DarkSoul as he pummeled MVP from corner to corner. Every
DarkSoul pin attempt came in twos but MVP wasn’t ready to stay down. A minor
rally was stopped by a poke to the eye and DarkSoul pressed the attack with
more clubbing blows and a DDT. With MVP reeling, DarkSoul made the classic heel
mistake of showboating to the crowd and MVP shocked him with a lungblower. With
the crowd cheering him on, MVP went for his Mindbender finisher but fatigue and
DarkSoul’s bulk meant he didn’t get all of it and only received a 2 count. MVP
laid it on with elbows, punches and knee strikes, causing DarkSoul to flee the
ring. He returned brandishing a metal tray and in full view of the official,
pounded MVP with it and the ref called for the immediate DQ.
The crowd was with this
match all the way. DarkSoul is well known and hated by the PWX faithful and his
domination of the middle of the encounter had them seething. MVP proved he is
equally capable of mat wrestling or brawling and only the DQ finish was a
disappointment. Everyone but DarkSoul was hoping for a clean finish to an
exciting match.
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DarkSoul takes it to MVP
Intermission: As usual, I wandered around getting the buzz from fans; everyone it
seemed, was enjoying the show. I spent some time reassuring PWX head of security, Lunchbox, that I was indeed supposed to be there and that I
wouldn’t call him overtly gay in my review. I was also surprised to discover
that Ontario music star Wayne Allen
Cudney was in attendance and he was nice enough to hook me up with his
latest CD, which made the drive home after the show much more enjoyable,
despite the vocal accompaniment of a slightly tipsy Mrs Id. Cudney’s got a
bluesy/reggae sound and I recommend you check him out if you get the chance. You
can reach him at soulchamp@hotmail.com
The merchandise tables did a brisk business, as did
the bar. Former WCW/WWE star Madusa
posed in the ring for pictures with fans. You just never know who’s going to
show up at a PWX show! The official head count at that point was 73
but I believe that number exceeded 300 by nights end. Maybe even a thousand if
one believes match commentator Jimmy James who also said the show was being
“beamed live to 12 Countries, including Guatemala.”
Bar Title Match: The
Hickster (C) vs Jayson Chambers –
Chambers is young, brash and cocky. His opponent, The Hickster, is 6’8” 325lbs of
good old country boy, so on paper this looked like an interesting match-up. Chambers
was first to the ring, declared that no PWX show was complete without him and launched
into a tirade about Ingersoll fans which naturally generated a lot of heat. The
fans erupted in cheers when John Denver’s “Thank God I’m a Country Boy”
heralded the arrival of the PWX Bar Title Champion. Wearing coveralls, a straw
hat and a Confederate flag, the Hickster made his entrance and wouldn’t you
know it… a hoedown broke out. This guy got the biggest pop of the night and the
crowd clapped and sang while he danced with the hapless official in the ring.
The Bar Title, by the way, is not represented by a traditional belt, but rather
a mini beer keg. When the music and dancing stopped they got down to business.
The first few minutes were spent by Chambers trying to muster some kind of
effective offense against his much larger opponent. He tried a variety of holds
and running strikes but The Hickster just shrugged him off. At one point he
escaped an armbar by throwing Chambers across the ring with one hand. (A
distance of at least 25ft according to James.) Chambers started targeting the
big man’s knee with running dropkicks and finally the Hickster hit the mat for
a 1 count. The action moved to the corner and Chambers laid in the chops which
The Hickster welcomed. Reversing positions, the big man leveled Chambers with a
single chop, then hoisted him to shoulder height and crunched him with a
backbreaker. With Chambers on the mat, Hickster delivered three booming knees
to his back and cinched in a chin lock. Keeping to a slow and methodical pace
Hickster continued to manhandle the challenger until a kick to the hay bales
stopped him cold. Chambers alternated his attack between punches to the head
and kicks to the knees before scaling the ropes for a crossbody attempt.
Hickster caught him, and although favoring his leg, delivered a mind boggling
fall away slam. Chambers somehow kicked out at 2 and went right back to work
attacking the knee. Finally, after three dropkicks and a chop block the big man
was brought to his knees. Chambers quickly grabbed the beer keg and scaled the
ropes before coming off the top and denting it on Hickster’s skull, which
busted the big guy open. The crowd rallied behind the Champ as Chambers pounded
away on the cut and tried for the pin at every opportunity. Failing to keep
Hickster down for the 3 count, Chambers applied a sleeper. Hickster managed to
fight out of the hold and delivered three clubbing forearms before whipping
Chambers into the rope and nailing him in the face with a big boot. At the
count of 3 the crowd went nuts and Hickster celebrated his victory with a mug of
beer while Chambers dragged himself out of the ring.
Up to this point, this
contest was the undisputed frontrunner for match of the night. A very exciting
contest between a small guy and a huge
guy. Chambers’ attack on Hickster’s leg was very well played and the Champ’s
size and power attack was something to see. I can’t wait to see Chambers lock
up with someone more his size and I’ve got about a dozen guys I’d like to see
try to take Hickster’s beer keg.
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Jayson Chambers vs The Hickster
Portia Perez w/Sam Allen vs Misty Haven – Perez was announced as being “from somewhere
better than Ingersoll” so she was obviously the heel for this encounter. Being
accompanied to ringside by the dastardly Sam Allen only further reinforced this
fact. Perez started stalling immediately, demanding the ref search Haven for
foreign objects. Not surprisingly, a few fans offered to help, but the ref kept
all the fun for himself. The first few minutes of the match saw Haven attempt
to lock up while Perez pulled one stall after another. She had to adjust her
kneepad, her hair, her trunks, trade insults with the fans, confer with Allen
and just generally waste time and frustrate Haven. The fans were getting
hostile as commentator James announced the match had passed the 5 hour mark
before Perez and Haven finally locked up in a test of strength, but only after
Perez had teased it forever. A frustrated Haven fell victim to a kick to the
gut and Perez quit stalling and got busy. Haven kept finding counters and they
traded holds and takedowns. After being subjected to a hairpull takedown, Haven
finally cornered Perez and hung her in the tree of woe before delivering a
running dropkick and some big knees, much to the delight of the crowd. After
eating a lariat and an armdrag, Perez bailed to the outside. Haven tried to
lead the crowd in a chant of “She’s a chicken” but the crowd chose “She’s got
herpes” instead. Haven elected to go outside and chase Perez back in which cost
her, as Perez regained the advantage on the ropes. The match settled in to a
routine of Haven gaining an edge only to have Perez counter with an eye gouge or
choke. Multiple pin attempts and counters eventually ended when Allen lent an
assist by choking Haven on the bottom rope. Perez delivered some big knees and
an elbow before locking on a piggyback sleeper. Haven slammed back into the
turnbuckles to release the hold and the women began a slugfest in earnest.
Haven rocked Perez with an enzeguri but Allen interfered, giving Perez a chance
to recover. Perez launched a crossbody but was caught easily by Haven and it
looked like the end for the ring brat. Perez suddenly shifted her weight and
surprised Haven (and everyone else) with a small package to steal the win.
Misty looked pissed. The crowd was incensed and Perez was quickly hustled to
the back by a smirking Sam Allen.
This was a classic example
of a match where the crowd played as important a role as the combatants. It
wasn’t so much that they cheered for Haven
as they cheered against Perez. Perez
played the cocky, sneaky heel to the hilt and Haven’s frustrated face role
complimented it perfectly. Equal parts comedy and hard hitting action, the
women delivered my personal pick for match of the night.
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Misty Haven vs Portia Perez
Fans Bring the Weapons Match –
Hardcore Title: Jessy Jones vs “Wild Thing” Willy Allen (C)
w/Madusa – The main event of the
evening began with the arrival of Jessy Jones who, as usual, had a word or ten
thousand to share with the fans. The crowd, in return, had a few for him as
well and an extended session of traded insults ensued. Jones announced that he
had burned the collection of weapons in the parking lot. He also delivered the
line of the night by declaring “I am an Ingersollic GOD!” before finishing his
spiel with the time honored “Fuck me? No, Fuck you!” in response to the crowds
reaction to his announcement that he was their Holy Deity. It’s a good thing
for Jones that Willy Allen showed up when he did because the crowd was ready to
kill him themselves. Not only did Willy bring the “burned” shopping cart of
weapons, he also brought Madusa and her
weapons of mass distraction to ringside. This encounter quickly got violent,
brutal and ugly as Willy and Jones have a long history of hatred behind them.
Weapons included multiple pool cues (which no doubt made the bar happy that
lazy fans had raided their tables instead of bringing weapons from home) a
hockey stick (This is Canada after all)
a stapler, golf clubs, a VCR, a large length of heavy chain, a live goldfish
(WTF?) sandpaper, assorted kitchen utensils and the aforementioned frozen fish,
which was now quite thawed. Hardcore Champ Willy and Jones wasted no time on
mundane stuff like wrestling holds; they took the fight and the weapons right
to each other. The battle raged back and forth as they broke pool cues and
hockey sticks over each other’s heads and backs. (According to Jimmy James, it
takes about 600lbs of force to break a hockey stick.) Willy held the early advantage
but Jones gradually fought back and despite Madusa’s attempts to interfere he
slammed Willy into the “titanium” ring post. During the ringside brawl, Willy
whipped Jones into the shopping cart and beat him severely with a pool cue.
Jones attempted to rally by stapling his opponents head but Willy quickly
returned the favor and began beating on the Ingersollic God with a golf club.
(I think it was a 3 wood, but what the fuck do I know from golf?) Finally Jones
turned the tables with a kick to Willy’s willy and pulled out the nastiest
weapon of all… the dreaded dead fish! The Champ dodged the blow and the hapless
official took about 7lbs of thawed stinky mackerel right square in the face.
Needless to say, this effectively took the ref out of the picture for a few
minutes. After nailing Willy with a chair, Jones entered the ring but slipped
on a banana peel and fell on his ass. Hardly God-like behavior but it pleased
the PWX faithful no end. Jones grabbed a crutch from inside the ring and used
it to spike Willy by leaping off the apron. With Willy busted open and bleeding
from “a 16” gash across his forehead” Jones rolled him into the ring and tossed
the shopping cart in behind him. Then it was construction project time as Jones
set up the cart and pool cues. As is often the case when wrestlers play
builder, their opponent has time to recover and this time was no exception.
Willy rallied and smashed Jones down on the cart. After trying unsuccessfully
to tear Jones’ leg off in the ropes, Willy smashed him in the head with the
chain and covered him for the first, and only, 2 count of the match. Jones came
right back, choking the Champ, first with the chain and then with a crutch
before dragging a ladder into the ring. Willy avoided a crutch spike attempt
from the ladder and mounted a rally that ended with Jones being dropped face
first onto a VCR/crutch contraption in the corner ropes. Willy ended it soon
after with a VCR shot to the head delivered from the ladder and the crowd
exploded in cheers. As two referees helped Jones to the back, Willy soaked in
the cheers and Madusa held the belt aloft. Suddenly, DarkSoul made his way to
ringside and yelled that Willy had forgotten the most important weapon of all
and tossed some coils of barbed-wire into the ring. Willy grabbed the wire and
delivered a rant about covering the ropes, the chairs, the Cherry Bomb
nightclub, the parking lot and the entire town of Ingersoll in barbed-wire for their upcoming match on the
next show. So… I’m thinking it’ll be a good sales day at the local hardware
store the next time PWX comes to town.
This match was off the
charts for brutality and violence. A rollicking, insane affair of weapons usage
and stiff blows. The undisputed crowd favorite for match of the night honors. A total blow-out of action and
excitement to end a show full of surprises and entertainment.
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The Fall of an Ingersollic God
Final thoughts: Wow. Just Wow. PWX delivered in spades. If you ever get the chance to
see video footage of this card, and especially the main event, do not hesitate
to watch it. You will not be disappointed. (It might put you off fish though.)
PWX deserves credit for salvaging an undercard beset by no-shows and delivering
at least 4 match of the night candidates. That would have been a hard call for
the few fans left sober at nights end if Jessy Jones and Willy Allen hadn’t
kicked the shit out of each other for 20+ minutes to end the show. Yea, we’ll
be back and next time, Jayson Chambers can pay for Mrs Id’s drinks, since he’s
so damn cute.
Photo credits: Mrs Id
Visit the PWX website: http://www.prowrestlingxtreme.com/
Direct comments to the
wizard of id to zapflash@sympatico.ca
