Back for more punishment, me , no not the name of tonight's "episode". Now wrestling is an episode. You know what the problem is , no one believes anymore. And it's not 'cause you don't want to believe, it's because you can't believe. Let me wax nostalgic as I have time to kill before destorying a few more brain cells. Back in the Georgia Championship Wrestling days, when a guy like Ole Anderson said that he an Ivan Koloff were gonna jump Dick Murdock, you actually feared for Dick's saftey. And when Dick staggered in bleeding , as the show went off the air, Gordon Solie said he was jumped in the parking lot. You wanted to go to the the show that night and see Ole and Ivan get the shit beat out of them. Does any of this shit get you in a "can't wait until the next show mode? I seriously doubt it.

I used to mark out for certain shit , because it was believable. Kevin Sullivan's stuff in Florida, Buzz Sawyer was THE bad guy, nut case , psychotic, blood thirsty, hardcore before his time. Buzz would do shit on camera that was so nuts that you expected the cameras to get shut off. Except for ECW , no one has come close generating that kind of interest. Remember the Road Warriors sticking the spike in Dusty's eye? It's pretty bad when indy feds like JAPW, CZW, IWA , ect have booking , at times, that is more compelling than anything Vince Russo could hope to come up with, except he has starting stealing ideas from these feds. Teasing a CZW type plate glass tables match and out right stealing JAPW's Xmas Tree Death match, who do we plan to rip off next. Now to twist one up before tonights eye candy.

It All Ends in the Cage tonights action packed episode brought to you by Nyquil. Team Tomko comes out to cut some promos. Sting & Nash vs Team 3D, now thats worth staying awake for ,yawn. Bubba on the stick running everyone down. He warns Morgan not to show up at Lockdow. Bubba say Sting & Nash were the reason WCW went out of business. Team Cage comes out , like we didn't see this coming.

Cage on the stick spouting pearls of wisdom. Call Bubba Hillary Clinton in a fat suit. Then says Hillary has bigger balls than Bubba. AJ calls out team Cage , yawn , fart, team Cage rushes the ring. we go to Samoa Joe in a suit ( probably just got off jury duty). then commercial killing the first ten minutes. They take longer to start wrestling than it takes me to get a hardon these days.

Angle & Borash giving each other handjobs in the back . The walking veneral disease comes out to infect someone. Consequences Creed ? Was this guy a jobber who just got realeased from WWE? Looks like Rave will do the job. I was right, Creed goes to Lockdown.So much about paying your dues. The Lethal, So Cal Val , Sonjay love triangle continues. Grown men can't wite this stuff, it has to be one of those inbred relatives of someone in charge .A sack job, like Stepanie McMahon has.

Cornette releases Matt Morgan, Morgan says he can take anyone on the roster any night. Great, I see a heel turn at Lockdown, or is he a heel already? Another ex WWE guy, ( for about 5 montues) gets the push.I predict the return of Abyss at the PPV so he can bleed like a bitch for Morgan.

A recap of the Petey Williams Scott Steiner S&M gay initiation which just make me have no doubt that Russo takes it up the ass. This is straight out of a gay bondage video. MCMGS vs the two lovers. The shemale comes to the ring with a bag, probably the strap on she used on Petey. Commercial.

Back as Scott is beating the crap out of Saben. Petey comes in , works over Saben. Shelly nails Petey with a superkick. Lots of near falls . Petey gets it with the CD. Steiner wants to cut Petey's hair. Petey goes for it. I just threw up in my mouth. Steiner shaves his head. Need I fuckin say more? Now Petey kneels in front of him and he gets the head dress. I can't fuckin believe I'm seeing this. Prison gay porn ? This is wrestling ? Make it stop , please. I have nothing against gays and I've sold all kinds of porn, but this is too fuckin much.When Kurt Angle say It's real, its damn real , I'm starting to wonder if he's telling Borash about his Olympic penis.

Guys putting ove the Joe/Angle match for the millionth time. Angle comes out, can you spell 'pullapart"? It's been an hour and and two fucking matches. Kurt/ Joe nose to nose in K Mart suits.Joe signs the thing they shake we go to comercial. It's 10:02 and we have had two wrestling matches, both interupted by commercials. A crack baby could program more coherntly than this. Now we have dancing lizards, must be the weed. Now a commercial about prosate needs. I got no needs cause I got no prostate , yuck yuck, the money I save on rubbers.

Back to the show, recap. Gail Kim & ODB in the back. That will probably be the best match of the PPV. Love & Sky out .Its Love against Roxxi. Good match as Roxxi gets it with the Voodoo Drop. Borash in the back with Super Eric. He calls Borash the bug eyed one or something. This is sooo fuckin lame. Super Eric vs Black Dust, that'll sell tickets.

More of the BJ / Billy Gunn saga. a feud that no one gives a shit about . Dudes, a couple of years ago you were wrestling the Christopher Street Conection for UXW. No one cares. Now Billy thinks he can be world champ. I think I can fuck Jessica Alba.

Dust /Sup , I remember seeing wrestling clowns on the spanish channel when I was a kid. This remind me of that. So so match , Johnny the Relic runs in , handcuffs Eric . Kaz tries to make the save, The Infection cuts him off. Eric BREAKS THE CUFFS, Hogan Couldn't break em , Andre couldn't break em, Funk, Flair, Windham, Rude, ect,couldn't break 'em . but this jobber can !! The magic of TNA.

More hype for the PPV. Queen of the cage. This will probaby steal the show.More hype, why either bother with matches? This is over kill , this make me not want to buy the damn thing. Sting & Nash promo. Sting says Brother Ray is marking out for himself. Nash cuts an "I'm just in it for the money promo " hint at a turn?With Vinnie Ru you never can tell. Dodging dicks keeps that boy sharp.Nash is the most honest guy on the roster.

Commercial for Ruins , save your money, it's about killer tree vines. Long ,tedious and drawn out, just like this show. Dudleys against the old timers .Devon sells for Nash. Sting tags in then Bubba. Sting all over Bubba util he hits a clothline and a commercial. Forbidden Kingdom looks good. BK value menu looks bad, coors light sucks ,Poland Spring has more kick.

Commercial for Awake. Tha Bubba has Sting on the mat. Sting's head got slammed nto the steps. Complete brawl with all members of both teams. Morgan press slams Jackie on to the others. They brawl all over as the show ends 5 minutes early and we have more PPV hype. There was about 20 minutes of wrestling this week and most of it played out like a bad episode of OZ. This has to be Russo's idea of family entertainment. For a "born again " , this guy is a sicker fuck fuck than I am.

LockDown Predictions
Joe will beat Angle. The Russo swerve will probably involve Karen, costing Kurt the belt. they just signed Joe to a multi year contract. He's gonna leave wrestling if he loses? I don't think so. Russo would bring him back , under the hood, as the Midnite Samoan. Kurt will probably manage Brock Lesnar against Joe after Brock wins the Olympics in Bejing this summer.

Cluster fuck tag teams in a cage. I'll go with LAX, but I wouldn't be suprized if The Infection gets it.

Queen of the Cage. I'll go with Roxxi as she is on a roll .

Kim/ODB vs Kong & Towel Head. I'll go with Kim/ODB as the rag head will probably do the job.

BJ James/ Billy Gunn The entire arena will go take a piss or buy popcorn. Home viewers will take the dog for a walk or take a dump. No one cares about these guys anymore ,Vinnie, except you, Jeff & Dutch.

X Division cluster fuck- Sonjay will turn on Lethal, costing him the belt. Don't be suprized if Creed takes it as Russo is starting to like dark meat. A Lethal/Sonjay feud will drag on for the rest of the year.

Team Cage / Team Tomko- seven former WWE guys and three 'original " TNA guys. Somebody will turn and cost their team the match. I predict Morgan. Anybody know where I can see this for free? IUt certainly ain't worth paying for . And you have to be a real rocket scientist to put on this PPV one week after Wrestlemania. The fans are probably spent out. See ya next week. Read Scars Magazine if you like Horror films.

The information on this website is exclusive property of the Declaration of Independents and cannot be used elsewhere without proper link credit. All DOI purchases are non-refundable. All mail (electronic or postal) sent to the DOI becomes property of the DOI which allows the DOI to reprint that e-mail in it's entirety by doing so, if the email is considered newsworthy.

Copyright declarationofindependents.net & doiwrestling.com. All Rights Reserved.